Sooner or Later
by flawedperfectionx
Summary: It started in a club and then ended like this. Reeling from a break-up, Kate Beckett is most definitely on the rebound. But what she gets instead is something she never imagined. AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be too busy writing episodes.**

* * *

"I cannot believe you talked me into this," Kate said to her friend as she buried her hands in her face. The club atmosphere was suffocating; too many people invaded the walls and there was not a lot of room to move, or breathe for that matter. She sighed and lifted her head up as she felt Lanie's hand against her back. "You really are the worst influence ever, you know that, right?"

Lanie grinned back at her, lifting her martini to her lips as she took a short sip. "Girl, you know that I'm only looking out for you. Three years is an awful long time to spend with someone and just give it up after one day."

Lanie was right with what she said. She and Josh had been through a hell of a lot together, and of course the moment he'd dropped down on a knee and proposed to her, she hadn't been the least bit surprised. She'd been thrilled at the moment. However, somewhere during the year since he'd proposed, she'd fallen out of love with him. He was too busy, never there when she needed it. He was a great guy, but she needed space. So, she'd given him back the ring and walked out of the house with a box of her stuff and her pride. That was more than she could say for him.

"So why are we here, then? If it's not for my pride, then what?" She leaned her head against her hand as she twirled the little umbrella from her drink between her thumb and index finger. "Cause if you think I'm going to screw out this frustration with Josh with the first guy I meet, you've got another thing coming, Parish."

Her friend snorted, rolled her eyes at her and took another sip of her drink. "We're not here for a pity party, Kate." She said to her. "We're here for a relaxing evening. And if you just so happen to go home with a hottie, then that's just a plus." She grinned wickedly from behind her glass. Kate held in a groan.

Of course, Lanie wouldn't know. She and Javier had been together for as long as she could remember. They were each other's person. Even if they neglected to think that way sometimes. Lanie didn't have someone coming at her doorstep at three in the morning begging to take her back. Josh was sweet, but he didn't know when to quit it. It was getting tiring.

That was how they'd wound up here, in the middle of the busiest club in New York with her nursing a drink for far too long. Lanie had tried to get her to do shots, but the last time she'd done them, she'd wound up in the lap of the very Doctor that she had just dumped. So she wasn't up to getting into that kind of scene. She let out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't look now, but I think there's someone eyeing you." Lanie told her, leaned forward to get a better look at him. "And if he's not, boy sure needs to get his god damn eyes test."

When Lanie pulled back, Kate glared at her but the woman just shrugged her shoulders lightly, finishing off her drink and calling to the bartender to whip her up another one. They hadn't paid for a drink yet. Not with Lanie's doe eyes and Kate's apparent need for them. She doubted that they would; the bartender seemed all too happy to give the wounded woman and her best friend a round of drinks. That didn't settle nicely.

Turning her head over her shoulder, she glanced at the man that Lanie had brought up, catching a glimpse of blue eyes and a wide smirk. She could practically smell the asshole as it poured off of him. It wasn't until a second glance that she noticed she was staring right into the eyes of one Richard Castle.

She didn't know too much about him, other than what was on his book jackets. Her mother had been a fan of him, and when she'd passed she'd left them to Kate. Or rather, Kate had ransacked the house and taken anything and everything she could before her drunken father could destroy it. Somehow, his books had wound up in that pile. And they were good; she'd read every one diligently while she tried to connect with her dead mother.

Kate turned her head back to Lanie and shot her a quick look. If Lanie knew who the guy was, she was playing it coy. But Kate finished her drink without saying another thing and ordered a hard bourbon.

* * *

Richard had come alone that evening, not that he would be leaving alone. He never did; it was part of the charisma of a bestselling novelist. There was always someone willing to, at the very least, leave with the person in question. Even if it was just for the same. (It was always for the fifteen minutes of fame.)

That night, though, he tried to keep a low profile because two blocks away, in his overpriced loft, lay his sleeping daughter. At nearly nine, Alexis was far beyond her years. It gave him a slightly nostalgic feel every time he came home from spending any great amount of time away from her. He always came back to her with some great amount of knowledge stacked in that brain of hers.

The reason he was home so early, especially with almost two months left of his book tour left, and was because his little Princess – not so little anymore, he reveled – was turning nine the next morning. It was everything in him to not show up tonight, wake her up and spend the rest of the night watching whatever movie she wanted to. No, if he went in the morning, took her to breakfast before school and promised to pick her up for dinner, he could guarantee that it would be the best birthday ever.

That was why he'd held off on the excessive drinking. He was known for it, he knew. Every paparazzi with half a brain claimed he was an alcoholic and sure, the divorce from Meredith hadn't been the greatest, but he was nowhere near being an alcoholic. Not yet, at least.

In the midst of all of his thoughts, he hadn't realized that he'd been staring at the back of a woman just a couple of chairs from him. She was beautiful, he thought, even back on and when she turned her head to look at him, he caught a glimpse of hazel eyes and a seductive smirk and he was done for.

Fuck, he at least had to get her name.

It was sort of childish, he supposed. But he was Rick Castle, playboy extraordinaire. If he wasn't spotted flirting with at least one woman, then he wasn't having a good night.

But somehow, this was different. She was different.

He noticed that she'd turned her head away and frowned slightly, debating between going over there and imposing on her evening or leaving her alone. He hadn't caught her eyes that long to know if the stare was welcoming or if it were a sign to ward off.

Rick's curiosity peaked as her friend stood, grabbing her purse. He was too far away to catch their conversation, but he assumed she wasn't going far. Women tended to go in pairs. But the mystery woman stayed where she was, nursing something significantly stronger than he'd seen her originally order. He took this as an invitation.

Moving closer, he sat in the seat next to her, purposefully making nose with the clashing of his glass to catch her attention. Kate turned her head and frowned as she caught a glimpse of who it was. The initial reaction was not what he was aiming for, but it was what it was. "Hello, beautiful." He tried, arching his eyebrow in her direction. "Do you know that you have gorgeous eyes?"

Kate chuckled darkly, lifting her glass of bourbon to her lips as she took a harsh, long sip. "I bet you say that to all the girls you try to bed." She said, clearly unimpressed with his flirting. "You've got to be on the triple digits, now, right?"

Rick took advantage of the dig. "So you know who I am?" He grinned, watched her roll her eyes and leaned forward. "Aw, come on, I know a fan when I see one."

She choked on her laughter, shook her head and turned toward him. "I am not a fan, Mr. Castle. Rather just a person who reads the newspaper."

The look on his face was priceless, she decided and it only made her laugh harder. "You seem like the type of woman who should know better than to look into page six." He poked back, lifting his drink to his lips. Kate observed the way his upper lip wrapped around the inside, the way his lower lip pressed into the glass and the way his tongue poked out, lapping in the liquid and fought off a groan.

He may be a playboy jackass, and it was most certainly the alcohol that spoke for her, but he was damn hot as he took a drink. She pushed her drink away and decided that was enough for her. Anymore and she'd actually give into his advances. She was a freaking Detective, for Christ sakes. If anything, she should have been able to profile him and push him away by now.

"So, do I at least get a name?" He asked as he placed the glass back down on the counter. She blinked at him a couple of times and cocked her eyebrow in his direction. "I mean, it's only fair. You know mine."

"There's not too many people who don't know your name, Castle." She said, leaned against her hand as she glanced over at him.

Rick paused, arching his eyebrow. "There we go again with the formality." He told her and licked his lips. "And _Castle_. The last name basis thing is hot. But it tells me one thing." He paused and saw the slight flick of curiosity in her eyes. "You're a cop." He grinned.

She said nothing, just rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink. She would need it, she assumed.

"You are, aren't you?" He asked, grinning as he dragged a single digit down her arm. It left a trail of goosebumps on her skin. "Do you have your handcuffs on you?" He chuckled, leaned in and whispered into her ear. "My safe word is apples."

Kate laughed and reached up, dragging her finger along his jawline once he'd pulled away. "Does that work for everyone?" She asked him and leaned forward. "Cause it ain't working for me."

Castle leaned closer and challenged her silently. Kate gulped and he noticed, the smirk on his face tugged up a little higher. "Not even a bit?" He asked, his eyes pierced into hers.

"Not even a little bit." She pushed back. And then her lips were on his. The initial contact shocked him, but he redeemed quickly, wrapped an arm around her waist the best he could and tugged her against his chest.

She pulled away, rested her forehead against his and sighed. "Wanna take this somewhere else?" She couldn't even believe her own ears. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but all she knew was that she wanted nothing more than to mount him and ride him to oblivion. Oh fuck, that was definitely the alcohol.

He nodded mutely, tossed a fifty on the counter and let her drag him toward the door. When they hit the outside, her lips pressed against his and he lifted an arm to hail a cab. He kept one eye open as he glanced and waited. Kate broke apart from him briefly, let out a deep breath and helped him in his efforts. A cab, not surprisingly, stopped faster for her than it did for him. She tugged him in, shot out an address so fast that he couldn't keep up on what was going and then she was mounted him in the back seat of the cab.

Her hands worked their way around his neck, playing with the baby hair on the back of his neck as slid his hands down her back. The ensemble she was wearing left much of her back open and he thanked the good lord above for that. Her skin was so soft underneath his fingertips, though that was the last thing on his mind the moment her hips ground into his and then it was game over.

The cab pulled outside of her apartment building and he fumbled in between them to grab his wallet, threw the first bill he could find at the cabbie and then exited the car. She clung to his waist for a moment before she dropped her legs to the ground and broke the kiss, holding up a finger as she moved toward her door. She hauled out a key from the clutch he hadn't noticed she'd been carrying and opened the door.

Kate turned around and wagged a finger, urging him forward. And who was he to deny her of her advances?

She lead them to the elevator, and then up to her apartment. After she unlocked the door, she grabbed him by the collar and crashed her lips to his. She led them inside and as soon as they were both inside, her back was against her door. She let out a loud gasp.

"Kate," she breathed as his lips moved lower, teeth nipping against her skin. She wanted to tell him to watch it, that it was getting too warm to wear turtlenecks or scarves, but no words would come to her mind.

He tugged his head back and glanced at her curiously for a long moment. "My name's Kate." She clarified and he nodded once before his lips replaced themselves against her collarbone. Her lips popped open and she raked her fingers through his scalp. She heard him hiss against her skin and she grinned softly.

His hands moved to cup underneath her thighs and lifted them around his waist as he pulled them away from the door. She tightened them as he backed away. "Which room's yours?" He muttered against the valley between her breasts. She let out a soft gasp as his tongue drew a line on the curve of her breast. "First on the left," she murmured. She felt him nod against her chest and break apart to see where he was to go. He led them there and kicked the door behind them. As though she expected someone to come in and interrupt them.

He shed her dress in one swoop, eyeing her with a pleased look as he realized that the dress hadn't come with the option for a bra. His mouth dipped, wrapping around one nipple while his fingers pinched at the other. It was rough, rougher than she'd ever had with Josh, but the amount of heat that pooled between her thighs was a sure sign of her body's reaction to him. She tugged at his suit jacket, which he gladly shed along with his belt. He tossed them somewhere behind them both and then worked at his shirt.

She swatted his hands away and with deft fingers, removed the row of buttons from their slots in ten seconds. He tugged it off his arms and moved his mouth back to her neck, nearly at the same level with their state of undress.

She worked on the button of his pants while his hands roughly moved against her thighs, attempting to remove her panties. Once the disc was out of its slot, she tugged it away and then moved her hands to tug the zipper down. She reached a hand in and palmed his erection. The hiss that was elicited made her grin and she tugged down his pants. He kicked them off his legs along with his designer shoes and socks. In a moment of pure exhilaration, she shed her panties and moved to the bed and spread herself for him.

Beneath the fabric of his boxers, he throbbed. He moved closer as she wagged the same finger from earlier toward him. She sat up, regretfully closing her legs to his view. In one swoop, she tugged his boxers down his legs and he stepped out of them. He pushed her down on the bed and reclaimed her mouth while his hand moved between her legs. She was drenched already and they hadn't even done anything. He flicked his fingertips along her clit and her hips arched involuntarily.

"Fuck," she cussed against his mouth. "Need you inside me." She added.

"Don't have anything on me," he muttered sadly and she grunted, wrapped her legs around him and rolled them over.

"I'm on the pill," she told him before she positioned herself and sunk down. He groaned into the open air as her muscles contracted around the intrusion and she placed her palms against his chest as she allowed her walls to adjust before she started an erratic pace. His hands moved on either side of her hips, helping her with the pace.

It was rough and uncoordinated, but fuck, every thrust hit that spot and she groaned. Her hand flew to her clit, rolling over the bundle of nerves as she rocked her fingers in a slow circle.

His pace began rougher, somehow, as he watched her pleasure herself. She dug her feet into the bed and let out a soft moan, her release imminent. When she fell apart around him, her muscles' contraction drove him to the edge. She collapsed against his chest and he thrust twice more, his seed spilling inside of her.

Breathless souls, she felt him press a kiss to the side of her head. An oddly intimate act considering how rough he'd just been with her.

He'd wake her up several times that night, but not one time did she complain.

* * *

**A/N: **Soooo… how was it? I've been writing a lot of AU prompts on tumblr lately and well, this kind of happened. I'm so nervous. I could throw up. But instead, I'm going to go to sleep. Meep. Also, quick note. This is the first time I've written smut in a decade and a half. So if it's bad, please be nice. Lol.

**twitter: **katherincastle  
**tumblr: **castleskatie


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

The sun pierced through her curtains as she woke, a groan erupting. The massive hangover had settled in and even lifting her head to check what time it was, half past six, took a great amount of effort. She buried her face in the pillows, emitting a rather long groan. Where the hell was she? She thought for a moment before she realized that she was in fact in her own bedroom. Which was a relief. That meant she at least got home last night, whatever she ended up doing.

The last thing she remembered clearly was Rick Castle flirting his best game her way. It made her laugh to think that he thought she could be one of his conquests.

Rolling over in bed, she curled into the other side of the bed, tugging the pillow to her and pressing it up against her chest. Throwing an arm over it, however, she felt the crinkle of… paper? What the hell she had written to herself, she thought as she forced one eye open and began to read the messy scrawl, was another question all together.

_Kate –_

_I had to run off early, sorry to leave without saying goodbye. You looked peaceful.  
Here's my number if you ever feel the need to call._

_Rick_

Sitting up quickly, despite the aching pain in her forehead, she let out a loud scream. "Oh no," she said to herself, the throbbing in her head getting worse the more she thought about it. She glanced down at her naked body, then to the note and then back down again. "Aw, fucking shit." She said, crumpling the note in a ball and tossing it away.

Kate let out a frustrated groan. She was not about to become someone's booty call because of a drunken mistake.

Pushing herself out of bed, she went straight for the shower in a mild attempt to shed any remains she had of Richard Castle on her. She turned the dial quickly and stepped under the unnaturally hot stream as she let the events of yesterday trickle off of her skin and go down the drain.

* * *

When she arrived at work, however, she knew that she would have another thing coming if Lanie didn't make an appearance. Of course, the seven missed calls on her phone was a sure sign that she should have called this morning, but without a body drop and need to be in before nine, Kate pushed it off as long as she could.

Luckily, the effects of her double dose of Tylenol were finally kicking in.

She sat behind her desk, glancing up at the empty murder board and then back down at the pile of paperwork. It was the most unfortunate part of her job, having to file out every name of every Tom, Dick and Jerry that committed or abetted in a murder. Most of the time she got lucky and tossed the option onto her partners, Javier or Ryan, but when she and Lanie were on the town exercising their female influence, the two of them were still at the precinct. She was almost positive that Esposito had no qualms about the 'thanks' he got from Lanie later that night.

With a sigh, she tugged the top file off and began to fill it out quietly, leaning her hand on her palm. While she filled it out, she began to think a little more about last night. She couldn't recount how much she had, but she'd never been a drinker. In the three years she and Josh had been together, she could count on one hand the amount of times she'd drank.

Some people liked to joke that her Doctor boyfriend really had settled her down, but she knew it was really because his alcoholic father had turned him from the substance at an early age.

But last night had been her release from everything; from him, from their relationship and mostly importantly, from the metaphorical housewife she had become since the start of their relationship. And to celebrate, apparently, she'd rode the first guy who hit on her. She let out a groan the more she thought, finding herself too distracted to finish even the first file, despite needing it done by twelve so the suspect could be released.

Forcing herself through it, she slapped it back on top and slid back in her desk, placing both hands over her face. She had done so wrong to herself; she'd went there to have a good time, not to get in bed with someone. And on top of everything, she'd forgotten Lanie had even come with her or to notify her that she'd left at all. Kate could only imagine how much shit she was going to get in with her friend for that one.

"Nursing the world's biggest hangover, Beckett?" She heard a familiar voice ask her and she pealed her hands back to glance over at Ryan who stood before her, a sheepish look on her face. She glared at him for a second and nodded her head.

"Yeah," she shook her head, deciding not to lie to herself or to anyone else for that matter. Last night had been fun or rather the feeling of freedom had been but she was most certainly paying for it that morning with the repeating pain in her forehead. "How was your night with Javi?" She asked, a grin tugging at her cheeks.

Ryan just shot her a look. They both knew what their friend got like when Lanie was out, even if it was just with Kate. "Moving on…" he said instead, offering a file to her. She quirked her eyebrow and leaned forward to grab it, looking over it briefly. "From yesterday's case." He explained. "I thought you might want to read over what happened."

"You mean," Kate corrected him, lifting her eyes from the words on the paper. "You want me to do paperwork on a case I didn't do?" She finished, shooting him a sarcastic look. "You owe me one," she told him before she lifted up the file she'd previously done and slid that one underneath.

Kevin didn't say anything more, just offered her a small smile as he moved back to her desk. Out of her partners, he was the more good-natured one, and she appreciated it very much. She'd always been closer to Esposito, but that was because of her relationship with Lanie. She liked to think that Ryan was the one that kept them sane in most circumstances.

Deciding that there was nothing else to do than to finish the stack, she began to read through the files again, shifting through the pile fairly quickly. An hour passed and she placed them all in a done pile, looking around the room with the same sense of freedom that washed over her the night before at the bar.

Don't get her wrong, she absolutely adored her job. There was a slight satisfaction she got each time she and her team closed a case. Even if it wasn't her intended career only a few short years ago.

Somewhere between aiding Ryan with his filing and Esposito showing up an hour late to work, Lanie showed up too. Kate hadn't been all that surprised, hadn't even questioned when her friend grabbed her arm and tugged her to the break room. Lanie was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry, but this wasn't the same thing. No, curious Lanie was a lot worse than angry Lanie.

"Spill," she said once the door was closed and locked behind them. The look that Lanie gave her left little room for negotiations of any kind and Kate sat down on the top of the table there, burying her face in her hands. Her elbows fell to her knees as she hunched over, shaking her head again. "Where on earth did you go last night? I was thinking I'd have to put out an APB on your ass. And then you weren't answering your phone… don't even get me started on that. I had poor Javi worried too."

"Oh, I'm sure Javi found his own way to distract you," Kate said as she straightened her back, shooting her friend a knowing look. "Listen, Lanie, I'm sorry. I got a little distracted last night and fell asleep early."

Lanie moved closer, daring her to try another lie. Kate knew that this wasn't going to work, but it had been a valiant effort. "Don't you lie to me," she wagged her finger in front of Kate's face. "You smell like sex, for Lord sakes."

Kate paled. She'd spent an extra hour under the chilly stream trying to scrape her skin of any residue. How did her friend know? But then she remembered, Lanie knew all. "I told you I was distracted," she said as she leaned back and placed her palms back on the table behind her. "You didn't ask me how I was distracted."

The grin that Lanie gave her was contagious. Despite who it was with, she knew that it was good she was moving on and not holed up in her tiny apartment while she mourned the death of her relationship with Josh. It didn't help that he called constantly, either. She'd contemplated changing her number all too often, but knew he had friends in the building that she lived in – he had friends _everywhere_ – and he would just come and knock on her door. It was better to hang up on him and tell him to go to sleep.

"Congratulations!" Lanie patted her shoulder. "So who was it, writer boy? Or did someone else catch your eye in the five minutes I was gone?"

Kate blushed, shaking her head. Of course she'd _literally_ jump on the first person who spoke to her once her friend wasn't around. How had it happened so fast? She hadn't been aware that she was that drunk, otherwise she probably would have petitioned to move it to her home with Lanie and not Richard Castle and his amazing dick.

Wait – where did that come from? She shook her head. She was sore, but a good sore, so she could only assume that she was well fucked. Kate only hoped that she remembered more about that evening. She rubbed her thighs together as she thought about last night. "It was him." She said finally. "I can only assume. He left me a note with his number on it, so unless I managed to nab another Rick." She shrugged.

Lanie smacked her shoulder lightly, rolling her eyes. "I'm glad you're taking a step to getting over Doctor Boy, though." She told her. It was true, when it first happened, Kate had holed herself away from everyone, even Lanie. Her friend had just been nice enough to not give up on her and show up at her apartment, unannounced, with Ben & Jerry's whenever possible. "You know what I always say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

"If I remember correctly," Kate paused, licking her lips slowly. "I was on top the first round."

The woman's jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, Kate Beckett, you've been holding out on me."

* * *

When Rick crawled into his apartment that morning, he was in super sleuth mode. Partially because of the mild headache and partially because he had no idea if Alexis was up yet. She'd always been an early bird, a fact he'd learned from a very young stage of her development. But when he moved in the loft further and found it empty, he grinned, knowing he had at least a little while before she woke.

He decided on a shower to get yesterday's grime off of him and the smell of sex. Kate certainly had an excellent libido and no matter how many times they woke the other up, they were always up for another round. He thought that they'd quit somewhere around the fourth round after she'd threatened to kill him if he woke her up again. Leaving her that morning had been slightly disappointing, especially considering how deep in sleep she was.

As he stepped out of the shower and dried, he moved into his room and dressed for the day, applying a few squirts of the cologne that his mother had bought him for Christmas. After fixing his hair, he moved to the opening of the door and listened. Silence, he grinned again and jumped the stairs two at a time.

Her room was the furthest from his, a request she'd given once she deemed that she was too old to be taken care of like a baby anymore. It was hard to believe that a nine year old was so wise beyond her years, but his daughter certainly blew him out of the water in more ways than one.

Rick opened the door quietly, peaking in to see her fast asleep. He figured, at best, that his mother had allowed her to stay up past twelve as a birthday gift. Pushing inside slowly, he moved to the side of her bed and sat down on it, brushing her hair out of her face. This caused her to wake up slightly, but only to groan and swat at the invisible force.

"Wake up, Pumpkin." He said after a moment, his patience wearing thin. While Alexis was an early bird, she was equally as hard to wake up in the morning. He brushed his lips against her cheek and she groaned, swatting at his face.

"Daaad," she sighed, opening on eye to look at him. "You didn't shave." She told him, rubbing the back of her hand against his stubble. He hadn't thought about that, knowing that most of his fans seemed to prefer the stubble in comparison to his fresh face. But, before he could dwell on that, the fact that her father was sitting there when he was supposed to be in Washington for the rest of the week hit her and she jumped up quickly. "Daddy!" She said, moving to wrap her arms around his neck as she squealed.

Rick enveloped his daughter in his arms, pressing a kiss to the back of her head as he squeezed her tight. It hadn't been that long since he'd last seen her but even still, the feeling of being around her was uplifting. Alexis lit a light in him that no one really understood.

She tugged back after a moment, staring up at him. "You are supposed to be signing books," she told him, her eyes narrowing. Ah, his little tracker. He'd delayed the signing until tomorrow, which meant he would have to do an extra-long signing to appease Paula and Gina, but when it came to his daughter, no one came first.

Rick nodded his head. "I should, but I got a little note from a birdie who told me it was someone's birthday today. And I'm a lot of things, but I'm not one who misses important things like that."

"You've missed six consecutive birthdays of mine, Richard." A voice said behind him and he turned his head the best he could to see his mother, still half asleep. "Don't flatter yourself, darling."

Richard made a face at her. "Where were you for the last eight of mine, Mother?" He teased and she just threw her hand up in the air as Alexis giggled at the exchange. Turning back to his daughter, he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Get dressed. We're going for breakfast. Wherever you want."

Alexis grinned at this idea. "Can we have ice cream for dessert?" She asked eagerly.

"You bet. I'll be waiting downstairs with Gram." He told her as he stood up and she jumped out of bed, flying across the room to her closet. By the time he reached the door, she'd already tossed half a dozen outfits on the ground. "Clean those up before you come down," he warned her, even though he could see himself doing that after they returned home.

The price of a single father, he supposed. He'd do anything to make his little girl happy.

* * *

After a body drop, the last person Kate wanted to see that night hovering around her car was Josh, but lucky her – there he was. He stood off of his motorcycle when he saw her, laying his helmet on the seat of his bike. "Kate," he said with a sigh as she moved to avoid him, trying to open her car door. "You can't avoid me forever, you know."

"I can try," she bit back. He grabbed her elbow and tugged her away from the door but as she turned in his direction, her eyes didn't meet his.

"Baby," he sighed, cupping her cheek. Kate, despite herself, leaned into his touch. It was so familiar, but yet so wrong. She needed to break away from him, quit him all together. And she was doing just fine at it, except he kept showing up wherever she was. "This isn't you." He told her and she scoffed, pulling away.

Kate moved and sat down on the hood of her car as she buried her face in her hands, begging the forces above to send someone out that she could use to deflect Josh away, but she knew it wasn't going to be that easy. She needed to deal with him on her own terms. "A lot that you knew about me has changed, Josh." She told him sadly as she felt his weight sit next to her on the hood beside her. "I told you what I wanted, and now I'm asking you to respect that decision."

It was silent for a long moment and she peaked through her fingertips to see if he was still there, sighing when she saw him staring down at her. It was hard to believe that she'd loved this man for so long, because as she stared at him then, the only feeling she felt was anger. Anger that he didn't know when to quit her, anger because he refused to drop her from his life like she was trying so hard to do.

Kate dropped her hands on her lap and glanced up at him. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Josh, but babe, I need to move on. So do you."

Josh paused, seeming to take in her words. She was afraid of this, afraid of letting go. Even though she'd been the one to give him back the ring and his heart, it still hurt to see him. He needed to understand that it wasn't as easy for her as she was making it seem. She was good at facades, at lying. She was not good at loving anyone.

"You're a hard woman to love," he told her honestly after a long moment. She nodded her head silently, watching as he licked his lips. Pushing himself off the hood of her car, he dug through his coat pocket and dropped a set of keys in her palms. She lifted and held them up to her face curiously. "They're to the apartment. It's yours, as far as I'm concerned." He told her as got back on his motorcycle and drove off, leaving her there to her own thoughts.

Kate let out a soft sigh as she twirled the keys around in her hand and stood up, moving toward her and getting in before driving off into the night.

* * *

A/N: Yay! Two chapters in two days. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up this consecutive updating because I'm really enjoying this story. Especially since I have everything planned so there's not a lot of thinking for my poor brain! Lol. Don't hate me yet, no Caskett, I know. But that's coming – in big ways!

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

Days came, and days went. The small apartment she'd once lived in became her full time home. Despite Josh's offer to let her live in the lavish loft they'd bought, she sold it the moment she'd known that he was fully moved out. People had individually questioned her motives, but anyone who dared to ask her to her face, Kate would simply tell them that the memories that invaded her mind each time she thought about that home were far too much for her to ever think about living them full time without the man she'd shared them with.

It was the beginning of March and the air was crisp. When she'd waken that morning, rolling out of bed, she'd felt fantastic. By the time she'd made herself breakfast, though, that mood went severely downhill. After upchucking at the smell of her favorite food, her cheese and bacon omelet, had not only ruined her day, but settled the fact that she would not be going anywhere today.

A quick call to her boss settled the decision and after changing out of her work clothes, she stood in front of the mirror, a pained look on her face. She'd managed to get half-dressed before the feeling of pain invaded her lower abdomen. Kate leaned forward, rubbing her stomach tiredly. "Just my luck," she muttered to herself. "Getting sick and period pains around the same time."

She tugged the loosest shirt she owned over her head, also known as her 'sick shirt' and tugged her comforter out of her room and moved to remain stationary on the couch for the rest of the day.

It was hard for her to be sick, because she did really become the next thing to an infant. It was different now, though, because she didn't have anyone to really call out of work to come take care of her. For the past few years, Josh would be on her beck and call when she was sick. Now, it was just her and her thoughts. Somehow, she preferred the human contact idea.

Halfway through the day, and after her second nap, she woke up and couldn't sleep. She tried everything, even getting the devil in her to close all of the blinds in her home so there was just a naturally glow from the little bit of light.

But, alas, that didn't work either.

Leaning her hand against her palm, she dove back into her thoughts as she stared blankly in front of her. In the last seven weeks, she'd luckily had case upon case to fill her mind. There was no time to dwell on Josh, though at night she sometimes wondered if she had made the right decision with him. He was a Doctor, completely and madly in love with her and she was just far too broken to let him stay with her for the rest of her life.

The rest of her life left a bitter taste on her mouth. She was only 24 for Christ sakes. What was she thinking, devoting herself to someone who she couldn't fully love?

A thought crossed her mind - it had nearly been two months since she'd last seen Rick. A part of her was a little upset with herself, because she'd been sore for days after their interaction. Whereas the other part of her was very anti-Rick and ever seeing him again. It didn't matter that his face was splashed on the back of every one of the books that sported her half-assed bookshelf. Or that the next thing she had to read also, in turn, had his dumb smiling face.

"Ugh," she grumbled, rubbing her hand over her face as she settled back into the couch, stifling a yawn. Despite how tired she was, sleep wouldn't come.

She turned to her side, where an empty bucket – in case of emergencies – a bottle of Tylenol, a box of tissues and _his_ book sat. She wasn't sure why or how that had ended up in her sick collection but without turning to open the first page, she grabbed it and slung it on the coffee table in front of her and grabbed the remote instead.

There was a handful of tv shows on, most of which she didn't know of; self-help shows like _Dr. Phil_ had been her crack shortly after her break-up with Josh fourth months ago. There was a station that was planning reruns of her mother's favorite television show, _Temptation Lane_, but she quickly pressed the down button on her remote until the option for the channel was no longer there.

She warred with herself; she was bored as bloody fucking hell, and while she felt better than this morning, there was no way she would actually get to come in and finish the day with the boys. It would be them telling her to go home before it would be Gates. Flipping through the channels wasn't helping her, and after a quick glance at the time, she sighed at the fact that it would still be four hours until Lanie would be off work, and thus available to keep her company.

That was, if a body didn't drop.

Kate rubbed her hand over her face again and sighed, tossing the remote to the side as she glanced down at the book. It was calling her name, or maybe that was her sudden pounding head. She just wanted to sleep until morning when she could brave the storm and go back to work.

She leaned forward, grabbing his book and hauling it into her lap. She opened the front cover, fingering over the dedication – to his daughter, as the last few had been – and then turning to the first page.

Kate would never admit how much his books had become a part of her life; they grounded her after her mother's murder. They, more than anything else, were her salvation.

When the urge to vomit came again, she was halfway through the fifth chapter and she grabbed the bucket hastily, knowing it was easier to get that then to disentangle herself from her heavy comforter. She cringed as the little bit of breakfast she'd managed to get down came back up and after a few moments, she pulled the bucket away, the smell turning her stomach again. When she looked down at the book, she noticed the splash of color on the sheets and realized that her vomit had gotten onto that too seconds before she started again.

"Ugh," she groaned again, closing the book and holding it to the side with the bucket as she tried to kick the comforter off of her legs. Luckily, the book had defended her comforter and there was no residue there. After quickly cleaning the bucket, she went to dispose of the book in her trash but when the air shifted in her apartment and the smell touched her nose, she gagged a little. Her stomach rolled from the stench and she wrinkled her nose. "You're going into the trash drop right away." She groaned, stepping out of her apartment and into the hallway.

After disposing of everything, she sprayed Febreeze across the house in an attempt to take away the vomit smell and opted for a shower. She felt better again, which was weird, but she brushed it off. It'd been a while since she'd last been sick; she couldn't even remember what it was like the last time.

Stepping out of shower a good twenty minutes later, she soaked in the fresh scent of the air and hurled into the sink.

* * *

The next day, she crawled out of bed with a spring in her step. She got dressed for work, shoveled down her favorite cereal and was out of her apartment twenty minutes earlier that she normally would have been. She was tossing around the idea of a coffee when a call from Ryan alerted her to a body.

"What do we have?" Kate as she moved on scene, stuffing her fingertips in the blue disposal gloves left on scene. She leaned down to be at eye level with the body, the stench touching her nose in an unusual way. She breathed through her mouth as she eyed her co-workers curiously.

"Vic's 35 year old Sally Martin." Lanie answered after a moment, pulling back at the collar of the woman's coat. "GSW to the heart is cause of death." She said simply, turning her head up to meet Kate's gaze.

Kate wasn't sure what did her in, if it were the sight of crusted blood, or if it were the fact that she inhaled sharply through her nose upon seeing the bullet wound but she quickly pushed herself up to her feet and ran away from the crime scene. She found her refuge in the nearest garbage can, clearing her stomach of anything she'd dared to eat that morning. For once, she was glad she'd missed that coffee.

The sound of heels clicking behind her made her suddenly sheepish and when she straightened and up and turned away from the sound, she felt her hands strong hand turning her back with a knowing look. "Kate Beckett," she sighed and shook her head. "Don't tell me you just came to my crime scene still sick?"

Kate frowned and shook her head. "I was feeling better this morning, honest. I even ate breakfast."

This seemed to turn something in Lanie and she narrowed her eyes at her friend. "You should go home," she told her, even though they both knew the idea of that actually happening were slim to none. Kate opened her mouth to argue with her, but Lanie held up her hand and turned her head to the side. "First, honey, you have horrible breath and second, I know, you're not going anywhere. But… take care of yourself."

The look that Lanie gave her as she returned to the body was weary and suspicious, but Kate was just glad that she hadn't asked anymore questions. She'd chalk it off to bad food and move on with her day. Returning back in the same direction, she glanced back to the body. "I'm… gonna go back to the precinct and brush my teeth. I'll see you back there." She nodded her head to Lanie and the boys who said nothing, just nodded in her direction.

She turned, moving back into the direction of her Crown Victoria. Crawling in the front seat, she pulled down the mirror and checked out her appearance. Luckily her foundation helped her keep her color a little better, but her lipstick had been totally ruined. She sighed and pushed the rear view mirror back in position and after clipping her seatbelt in, she pulled onto the street in the direction of the precinct.

* * *

"Ricky," the nasal voice to his side rung in his ear as he pushed through the back entrance of the book store. His last stop for this book tour and luckily, it was right in New York. After today, he'd go home to his loft, wait until they finished editing the next Derek Storm novel and try to push him back on the road again. He grumbled the more he thought about that. He was Black Pawn's golden goose and they had no problem exploiting him in any way they could. At 34, he was already getting tired of the excessive amount of parties they sent him to.

But Lord forbid he say no to a book tour.

"What is it, Paula?" He asked, turning his head toward her. At eleven in the morning, the last thing he wanted to do was a six hour book signing, with an hour break for lunch, but alas, most of his fans resided in New York along with him.

"Honey, don't be so uptight. Just go in there and be your good, charming self." She dusted off invisible dirt from his collar and grinned up at him. "Six hours isn't that bad, it could be worse."

He fixed his collar absentmindedly as he stared out at the crowd sitting outside of the bookstore. Most of them had seen him by now and were practically scratching at the glass, which made his day a lot worse. The groupies were the worst; they were the most likely to hit on him and act like he was their boyfriend, not their favorite author.

"Unleash the mob," he said as he sat down and uncapped his pen.

* * *

"Kate." Lanie found her on her knees in the bathroom, and not because she was praying to the Lord. Well, after cleaning out her stomach for the second time that day, she figured she'd be better off praying for some salvation from this god damn bug. Lanie sat down on the outside of the stall and Kate leaned forward, leaning her back against the opened door. The cold metal felt wonderful against her cheek. "Girl, you need to go home. Javi and Kevin can take care of things here."

"How long's it been?" She asked, catching her friend off guard. Lanie narrowed her eyes in Kate's direction, waiting for her to clarify. "Since we went out to celebrate my separation from Josh – finally, I mean?"

Lanie shook her head for a moment, not sure why it was important. "It was… January 20th, I think." She said, lifting her eyes to meet her friends. "Kate, where's this coming from, honey?" She asked, placing her hand on her friend's knee. Kate collapsed in on herself, covering her hands over her face.

Letting out a few short breaths, she shuddered the more she thought about it. The possibility had completely evaded her; the pains she'd felt yesterday she'd chalked up to period pains but the more she thought about it, the more she remembered that it'd been several weeks since she'd even gotten her period.

"I'm late, Lanie." She sighed into her palms, hearing her friend gasp besides her. "I am so screwed."

The more Kate thought about it, the more she realized that she truly was. She knew, if she was pregnant, it wasn't Josh's. They hadn't had sex in months. But then left the tragic fact that if she was, indeed, pregnant, then she would have to show up and have Castle's goons tell her to bugger off if she tried to tell him. She whined softly, on the verge of tears when she felt Lanie's arms wrap around her.

She sighed, wrapping her arms back around the woman, sobs wracking her tiny frame. She was only twenty-four; she wasn't old enough to be able to take care of a kid. Her job didn't permit a single parent lifestyle – and lord forbid she get hurt on the job. Then she was leaving her child with her father, her only living relative. She felt sick the more she thought about it.

"Kate," Lanie sighed in her ear. "After work, we'll go to the drug store and we'll buy a test." She rubbed her back softly. "Worst we can be is wrong."

Kate removed herself from her friends. "No, you're wrong." She said, straining a smile. "The worst we can be is right."

The rest of the day navigated slowly; she swore a ten minute period felt like it was at least four hours. However, when the end of her work day came, Lanie was waiting down by her car for her. A quick trip to a Walgreen's en route to Kate's was scheduled in and then they moved forward to her apartment.

It took only a few moments to complete the tests, wash her hands and set a timer. She moved out into the living room where Lanie sat, looking almost as nervous as she did. Sitting down, she curled her knees to her chest, leaning her head on them. "What if it's positive, Lanie?" She asked softly.

Along the bathroom counter sat at least half a dozen tests that they had thrown haphazardly into the basket while they were trying to get in and out quickly. A Doctor's visit would have been the most definite answer but the earliest she could get in with her family doctor was the following Monday, a few days away. She didn't know if she could wait that long.

"Then I better be godmother." Lanie said, breaking her from her thoughts. Kate smiled at her attempt to lighten the mood, laughing softly to herself. "I know what you're thinking honey." She told her as she reached over and clasped one of her hands between hers. "You've got me, and you've got your Dad and Javi and Ryan. None of us are going to let you crash and burn. If you're pregnant, then that baby is just included in the deal."

Kate nodded her head, smiling genuinely at her friend as she checked the timer on her phone. There was only a few moments before she would know whether or not. She placed her phone on the side table and counted to three in her head and then –

_Ding_.

Opening her eyes, Kate watched as Lanie stood and offered her hand to her. "Come on," she invited. Kate grabbed her hand and stood up with her, moving toward the bathroom.

After seeing the line of plus signs and "pregnant" confirmations, she felt slightly deflated. She tossed them all in the trash without dwelling and leaned up against the counter.

Lanie offered her a hug which she accepted gladly, holding her close to her body. "I meant what I said about being godmother." She reminded her, patting her back lightly.

Kate laughed into her ear and held her tighter. "Thank you, Lanie."

* * *

Sitting on her bed after Lanie left, she pulled up the web browser on her laptop and found herself searching Richard Castle's name. She knew better; knew that she should try to keep away from him as much as possible. But she was pregnant, with his kid nonetheless, and her moral side told her that he at least deserved to know.

"Where the hell can I find you?" She grumbled, lifted and placed the laptop on her thighs as she leaned back into her pillows. She scrolled a little until she saw the announcements on his page.

_Richard Castle's last signing for __**Raging Storm**__ is TODAY!  
Get there when you can  
11-6_

She sat forward, reading the location and then her eyes shifted to time. "Shit," she shut her laptop really quickly, placing it on the side table on her bed as she sprung up, looking at her state of undress. She'd gotten pretty comfortable after they'd come home, her hair pulled back in a messy bun and yoga pants but she didn't have time to dwell on her appearance. She had a little less than an hour to get to where she had to be.

She hailed a cab, not trusting her driving skills, and told them the address. In the pit of her stomach, she knew she was doing this recklessly, doing it without actually thinking about it. But what was she supposed to do? Wait until they ran into each other on the street and she was either pregnant or had the child already?

Kate paid the cabbie and crawled out, realizing that she'd come without a book. Luckily, the line was short enough that she got in, bought a fresh – vomit free – copy of _Raging Storm_ and got in line. A few people lined up behind her, late birds like she was and she nervously clutched the book to her chest as the people came and went in front of her, grinning like school girls.

When nearly her turn, she pulled out a notebad from her bag and wrote a note for him. She tore it off and when the woman in front of her moved, Kate placed her book down gingerly and he looked up at her, meeting her eyes. A smile that told her he remembered her crossed his face but he politely asked, "who do I make this out to?"

"Kate." She told him, forcing a smile on her own lips. "You can make it out to Kate." She said, sliding the paper toward him. His eyebrows shot up as he saw it, but he didn't open it immediately, covering it with her book. He signed a message and held it back to her.

"Thank you for supporting me, Kate." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes as she collected her book from her and moved back to the children's section.

In her note, she'd told him nothing more than the fact that she needed to talk to him and that she would meet him down in the children's section. There was a less of a chance that anyone would be listening and plus, they had bean bag chairs. Her feet were killing her from the heels she had tossed on and how fast she'd rushed to get there.

After sinking into one of the bean bag chairs, she placed the new book in her lap and took out her phone. There was a missed call from Lanie, and a text from Lanie asking her where the hell she was. She decided not to answer them just yet. She knew if Lanie knew she was here, she would have a lot of explaining to do.

"That's my Daddy's book." A quiet voice to her side spoke almost in her ear and Kate jumped, holding her hand to her chest. The little girl beside her looked sheepish and backed away quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"No, no." Kate sighed, her heart racing. "It's okay. I'm just a little jumpy today."

A little jumpy was an understatement.

"That's my Daddy's book," Alexis repeated, pointing in the direction of _Raging Storm_. "He says I'm not old enough to read it, but I've been reading books way longer than that since I was seven."

Before she could get the chance to reply, the husky voice from Rick spoke. "Alexis," she heard a sigh as she and Alexis turned their heads toward her source. "Are you bothering people again?"

The redhead seemed furious at this accusation and showed it as she crossed her arms and stared up at her father. "No, Daddy. We were just talking, that's all."

It was only then that she had time to dwell on what she was about to do to this man. He already had a daughter, an ex-wife that invaded his privacy. He didn't need her sob story; he didn't need the stress of her child. Kate felt sick again and she stared between father and daughter for a long moment before she pushed herself off of her chair and quickly shouted, "I can't!" before taking off in the direction of the front door.

In her haste to leave, she hadn't realized that she'd forgotten her phone on the arm of the chair but Rick had. He moved to pick up the phone quickly, but she was already out the front door. He held it in his hand and turned his head back toward Alexis with a soft sigh.

To say Kate hadn't been on his mind since their night together was an understatement, but now she'd fluttered back into his mind and left her phone. He grinned to himself as he realized; this was a chance to see her again.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, I'm sure at least a dozen of you guessed this was where the story was heading and I'm sorry – but I literally sat down and planned an entire story and this is where I'm going with it. I'm not changing it. Now, the pregnancy won't be the forefront of this story. Actually, I will jump in between moments in her pregnancy. But it's the relationship between Kate and Rick that's important here. Thank you to those who have followed, favorited and reviewed my fanfiction. It means a lot to me. I would kiss each and every one of you if I could.

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

Her strong demeanor didn't break until she was safe in the confines of a taxi cab. Kate barely got her address out of her mouth before she dissolved into racking sobs. She was glad, for once, that the man driving her wasn't invasive or else it may have been awkward. However, in that moment, the last thing on her mind was the welfare of anyone else beside her and her child.

Oh shit, she thought quietly. _Her child._

It all rushed to her then; she wasn't that far along, not even advanced into the second semester yet and there were options that she could take. Kate numbed the more she thought about them all: abortion, adoption… There was no way. Even if Rick wanted nothing to do with her or the baby, there was no way she would ever think seriously about doing anything to get rid of it – him… her?

After all, in many ways, she held the responsibility of what happened in her own hands. Becoming a mother had never been in the forefront of her mind, not with her career, but her decisions that night had led to this moment. She placed a numb hand against the flat area of her stomach and sobbed harder as the taxi drove closer to her home.

As the sobs began to relieve, she leaned back into the seat. To her side sat her untouched copy of _Raging Storm_. A part of her wanted to chuck the book out the side of the window and attempt to forget Richard Castle. But this was so much more than a one night stand now and she knew that.

Lifting up the heavy book, she ran her fingers along the front cover, feeling the engraving from the publisher and fingering over the photo of the male. Derek Storm was wonderful and challenging and at times very maddening, but she could see why Richard kept him going. In many ways, Derek Storm was everything that Richard Castle aspired to be. A soft smile crossed her face as she lifted the cover back and met his inscription to her.

_Kate –_

_You've been on my mind since the last time we met; you are truly extraordinary and beautiful. I hope that I have not left yours and I hope that you consider calling. You truly are enchanting._

And then, at the bottom in a neatly scripted and very rehearsed signature –

_Richard Castle_

Kate's eyes stared at the words for half a beat longer, and then the cabbie announced that they had arrived. She'd been so wrapped up in the world of Castle's words that she hadn't even felt the car stop. Sheepishly, she pulled out two twenties from her purse and held them in his direction. "Thank you." She uttered softly, closed the book and pushed out of the cab. Before she got out, she turned around to ensure she hadn't left anything behind and then shut the door.

The night was cool against her skin and a light rain had started. She'd always loved the rain, how it dusted her skin and left watery imprints. However, she pushied past the childhood memories of her days spent in the rain and stepped closer to her door, retrieved her keys and moved inside. She couldn't risk illness while carrying her child. She already felt too protective of the fetus to think of doing that.

It was only when she was finally in the confines of her home that the meaning of his inscription. He'd wanted to see her. For a moment, she let herself think about the way his eyes lit up when he'd seen her, the warm smile that had been dedicated to her and her only. She sunk into the cushions of her couch and opened the book, daring to read it again.

Perhaps, she thought, there was a reason to take a chance on him after all.

* * *

Rick stared at the phone in his hand, sighing as he glanced down at his nine year old. Alexis stared right back up, as though she were challenging him to make a move. "We have to try to return it to her," he told her after a moment and she nodded; the smile that she gave him showing true pleasure to his decision. Putting down the book that she'd been reading, she stood up and grabbed his hand.

"Do you know where she lives?" She asked quietly. Rick started to move toward the back entrance where their car was securely parked as he thought about her question. It was far away from the reach of any paparazzi, unless they had the skills to climb over an eight foot brick wall, and that was what he liked about it.

Of course, he did _know_ roughly where she lived. He'd been there before, but he'd been slightly distracted the last time they wound up in that borough of New York. He didn't dare mention that to his daughter, though the look she gave him told him that she didn't take him for a fool, either. "Um," he said after a moment. "I do, but I can't remember how to get there."

With a huff, Alexis resumed the silence. He stared down at her as they walked, trying to get inside her mind. She was so well advanced already, it blew him away. Turning his head back up, he led them out the back door and to his car – a well shaded navy blue sedan – and they both climbed in.

"I think we should think about this over ice cream." Alexis declared once they were both settled in. The comment caught him off guard and he laughed at first, but a quick look to his daughter showed how serious she was.

With a nod of his head, he checked the time and then turned back to her. "What time do you go to bed now, anyway?" He asked, feeling slightly bad for not knowing that. It changed with her age; when she was five, it had been seven thirty and then it was moved forward to eight when she was six and so on and so forth. He was sure with a quick addition he could have figured it out but he also figured she knew better than he did.

"Nine-thirty!" She told him with a grin. "Gram let me stay up until ten thirty on the night of my birthday, though." She paused and paled. "Oh, don't tell her that. I think that was supposed to be our secret!"

Laughing at his daughter, he pulled out of the parking lot and toward her favorite ice cream parlour, just a minute down the road. A quick stop to collect her favorite rainbow sprinkled ice cream left his daughter in heaven and him with a round of questions. "All right, partner." He said as he sat back in the driver's seat. Alexis offered him the ice cream and he held it as she laid out napkins on her lap. "Back onto the reason why you got ice cream." He reminded her as he laid it back in her hands.

Alexis grinned sheepishly and dragged her tongue along the cool substance. "You could try calling the last number dialled." She offered and he nodded, fishing for the phone in his pocket.

There was at least a dozen things wrong with taking her phone in the first place. But as he lifted it up and pressed the home key, the name _Lanie_ and missed calls were right in front of him. He hadn't felt it buzz at all in his pocket so he assumed they were from well before he'd gotten them. With a quick press of the "call back" option, a female woman's face lit up on the screen and he held it to his ear, licking his lip.

One of two things could have happened: the woman could try to say he was a thief and track him down and thus put him in jail or at least with a heavy fine or she could accept the fact that her friend had misplaced her phone and help him locate her.

"Girl," the voice on the other end asked once she picked up. "There you are. You've been worrying me all day. How are you?"

"Um," Castle cleared his throat as he turned his head away from his daughter. Alexis was only half listening anyway, but he turned up the radio slightly louder in case there was yelling. "This isn't… this isn't Kate." He told her quietly. "She left her phone and I was just trying to see if I could return it for her."

The silence that followed was deafening and for a moment he pulled the phone away to see if she was still on the line and not hung up on him to get a police officer to his location.

A sigh filled his ear drums. "Who is this?"

"My name's Richard Castle." He said quickly. "She came to my signing today and we started to talk and she took off without her phone and a goodbye, I might add."

Lanie rolled her eyes as she leaned back in the chair. She ignored the look from Javi as he moved to curl up beside her. "Well, Kate is virtually unreachable without that phone." She told him, ignoring the fact that as of late, her friend had been virtually unreachable _with _that phone. "But my boyfriend and I can drop by her place and notify her. She probably wouldn't notice that she lost it until morning when she absolutely needed it."

Glancing down at his daughter who was on the last bit of her ice cream and was scraping at the Styrofoam he nodded his head. "Sure. But um, how will I get it back to her?"

"Don't you worry your pretty face about that," she said as she stood up and gestured for Javi to stand with her as she moved toward the door. "And don't think about skipping town with it either. I know what you look like, and I will hunt you down. Stay close." And then she hung up.

Pulling the phone away from his ear, Castle stuffed it back in his pocket and rubbed his fingers across his eyebrows. "She seems nice," Alexis said innocently and he turned his head, choking out a laugh.

'Nice' was one way to name it.

* * *

The last thing Kate expected to see was Javier and Lanie at her doorstep. She sighed as she remembered that she'd given Lanie a key as a "just in case" sort of situation. She doubted this was one of them.

"Did you forget something today?" Lanie asked as she invited herself in. Javier stayed outside until Kate jerked her head and silently invited him in. They were polar opposites, but for whatever reason, it worked for them and Kate was happy for the both of them. "Because I just got an interesting call from _you_." She said, using her fingers to quote and unquote the "you" in the sentence.

Kate looked confused for a moment, knowing she hadn't called Lanie – and also knowing that she should have by now – and then realization struck and she dove for her purse on the kitchen counter where she'd left it. After searching for a good two minutes, which involved taking everything out and putting it back in, she fell, deflated. "My phone." She whimpered, rubbing her hand over her face, all the while willing herself not to cry over a god damn device.

"I know where it is." Lanie's tone suddenly changed as she moved up toward her and placed a hand against her shoulder. She held it there for a moment before she pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it in her direction. "Call the damn boy and get this thing figured out, for the love of God."

Feigning innocence, Kate glanced at the phone and then back at Lanie for a moment before she took the proffered device and unlocked it. Lanie sat on the chair beside her while Esposito arranged himself comfortably on the couch and became transfixed in whatever it was that Kate had been watching before they'd barged in. Pressing the phone icon and then the recent section, she hovered over her name for a moment longer and then pressed it, holding it up to her ear.

Halfway across town, Rick and Alexis moved inside. Martha stood in the middle of the living room, in the middle of a performance and faltered some when she saw her son and granddaughter. "Gram!" Alexis jeered, moving to stand beside her. "That was good!"

Rick smiled at them both, but didn't say anything. He knew his mother weren't fishing for compliments, not like she usually did. Alexis and her grandmother engaged in a conversation amongst themselves as he felt the phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out, he was met with Lanie's face. He stopped for a moment and then began moving toward the bedroom before his mother halted his movements.

"Richard, darling," she sighed softly. "Bring your luggage into your room. It's taking up space."

Rick rolled his eyes but nonetheless, grabbed the large bag and the slightly smaller one, tugging it into the room with him quickly. The vibration persisted and he dropped the bags unceremoniously onto the floor and shut the door behind him before quickly picking it up. "Kate's phone," he said, out of breath.

"Am I interrupting something?" The quiet voice asked from the other end. He stood up straight as he realized who it was and then moved to sit on the edge of the bed after fixing the position of his luggage.

"No, no." He shook his head, even though she couldn't see the motion. "I was just bringing in my luggage at the same time that you called, that's all."

Kate's "oh" didn't give him much substance to go on and he faltered, not saying anything. "Um, I'm going to need my phone back." She told him quietly. Lanie glared at her as she slapped her arm lightly. "Pretty please?" She asked, making a face at her friend.

"Yeah, yeah. I understand. I um, can drop it off to you tonight?" He made a face as he said it, hoping that Alexis would calm down within the next half an hour and his mother putting her to bed wouldn't be too much of a stretch. He supposed his daughter would understand, but his mother was another thing altogether. "Lanie kind of mentioned that you might need it soon."

"Yeah," she said, nibbling on the edge of her thumb nail. "You can do that. That'd be great." She stopped and heaved out a rather large breath. "I think we need to talk anyway." She stuttered out nervously and Lanie moved closer, rubbing her back slowly.

Castle agreed and after giving her address to him, both parties disconnected. Castle moved to stand, exiting the room and explaining the situation to his mother – mildly, of course – and then took off out the door.

Kate sunk further into her chair. "Oh god, I'm gonna throw up." She muttered as she sank her face into her hands. Luckily Javier was too transfixed to pick up on the situation – she didn't need to explain it to too many people tonight. The father of her child was enough for now. "Lanie, I can't do this." She said softly, on the verge of crying again.

Was she going to be like this the entire time? Crying over every damn thing that happened to her? Kate hadn't even cried when she broke up with Josh and here she was, crying over a lost device and having to tell someone that they were going to be a father.

"Yes you can, honey." She said and wrapped her arms around her friend. Kate sunk into the embrace and let out a soft sigh. There was nothing to it. Just let it sit in the air, hope he didn't freak out and everything would be fine.

She didn't need him anyway. She had more than enough support from her friends, even though only one of them were aware of the situation. Kate just had to keep telling herself that, in preparation for the worst.

Lanie removed herself from the hug and then grabbed her phone, tossing it in her purse. "After he comes over, I expect a call right away." She said softly. "Whatever happens, honey, I'll be there. Alright?"

Kate nodded and smiled. "Thank you Lanie," she told her and the woman nodded her head as she moved over and tapped the back of her boyfriend's head.

If there was a chance for happiness for her friend, there was one for her as well. No matter how dysfunctional Lanie's relationship with Javier was, they were each other's rocks. Kate could only hope, no matter what, she'd find that someday herself.

* * *

Rick arrived at her apartment and she buzzed him in. He moved toward the elevator, memories invading his mind as he moved forth. The kissing, the laughter, her smile. That night really had been wonderful; something he would like to imprint in his memory forever, even though the alcohol's effect made some of the details very blurry.

When he arrived at the front door, he barely got a knock in before it swung open, revealing Kate. She looked smaller than she did that night, and not just in the height. She had an old sweater that hung off of her on and an even paler complexion. "Come in," she said, stepping to the side.

He didn't remember much of her apartment from that night, having had other things on his mind at the time, so he took as much of it in as she shut the door behind him.

"Um," she said softly. "Would you like something to drink?" She asked and he turned toward her, suddenly noticing how awkward she seemed.

"No," he declined the offer softly. "I'm more curious about what you wanted to talk to me about."

And there it was, the invitation hanging in the air. Kate knew there was no delaying it now, not that she would dream of dancing around the subject anymore. With a deep inhalation of air through her lungs, she crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her eyes to his.

"I'm pregnant, Rick."

* * *

**A/N:** And so, the confession sits in the air. This isn't where I originally wanted to end it. Actually, the last part was originally scheduled to be at the first part of the next chapter but alas, I changed my mind. Also, it's a good thing to keep in mind that this is all happening in one night. Big night for Caskett ~ Thank you again for your continuous support. Writing Kate/Rick is different for me but I am so glad that you are enjoying the story. Thank you again!

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

The first time Richard Castle learned he was going to be a father, he'd been twenty four. Meredith had sheepishly sat him down and told him that she thought she had a UTI or something – he couldn't remember her exact diagnosis – and she'd went to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. She'd been severely disinterested with the idea, even talked about aborting the child because as an aspiring actress, she had no room for a child in her life. And after that talk, she'd promptly threw up the contents of her breakfast that day in his lap.

The second time he learned he was going to be a father, so far, was at least somewhat better than that. Except he'd been in a steady relationship with Meredith at the time of Alexis's conception. And he'd talked Meredith into keeping the child because he'd been excited. It'd been a prospect for a new beginning between the both of them.

He had no idea where this left Kate and himself.

"Is it…" he doesn't dare finish his sentence because Kate's head whips up so fast he can feel the air from the motion halfway across the room and her heavy set glare poured into him like hot lava. Without saying another word, he just nodded his head and watched her.

There was very little he know about Kate. The night that they had fornicated, they had both been buzzed with alcohol and their actions had been sponsored by the local club they'd mutually attended. He didn't know her favorite color or what was her favorite book, or her favorite food for Christ sakes. Their meeting, though it stayed with him the entire time he was away, was intended to be a onetime thing. Not a lifetime extension.

Kate watched him as he stood somewhat like a statue. She'd expected yelling, or denial, even a few choice words but she certainly hadn't expect silence from a man who's words made him millions. Chewing on her lower lip nervously, she dipped her head lower. Ideally, she would have liked to have him say something more than the accusatory "I'm not even sure if it's mine" attitude he'd initially equipped.

In the back of her mind, she kept reminding herself that she didn't need his support; this wasn't a plea for him to come around more often and be a part of their child's life. This was her making the first parental decision and allowing her child's father the chance to know him or her. If Rick chose the easy way out, then she would understand it. She wasn't going to cry over a man she barely knew.

Or maybe she was, she didn't understand her hormones anymore.

"So, um." He said finally and she lifted her head to look up at him. Somewhere in the last few moments he'd moved closer to her but there was still room to breathe. She felt slightly panicked in her situation, unsure of who Richard Castle truly was behind the scenes. "What… what are you going to do?" He asked and his tone caught her off guard; for a moment, she touched on the idea that he actually genuinely cared for her and their child, though it was too soon to decide that.

Kate didn't understand the sudden flash of anger that rolled through her after those thoughts escaped. Perhaps a part of her had expected him to question if she were going to abort or adopt the child off because she was practically a child herself but it hurt a lot more than she'd expected. She bit down on her lip a little harder and tried to control the hormones.

"I plan to keep and raise the baby." She said after settling down the inner war with herself. She couldn't recognize the look that crossed his face as whether it were shock or relief, but she didn't dwell on it. "I'm not… I didn't bring you here to ask you for anything, Rick. I just wanted you to know."

Rick nodded his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets, suddenly feeling the dual sensation of phones. He extracted hers and held it out a little in her direction and she grabbed it, whispering a quiet thank you as she tucked it in the front pocket of her sweatshirt. The silence remained between the two of them and she ducked her head.

"Would it be alright if I were involved, though?" He asked, causing her head to lift again. The look on her face was indescribable; almost as though she had expected so much less from him. "I mean… I was never a good candidate for a weekend Dad but I also don't want you to have to raise the child on your own. I understand how hard that is."

Kate wrapped her arms around her middle as she thought of the situation. It certainly wasn't going to be easy for either party and their child in the middle would always have two homes, but it was the price they paid for what had happened. "That's fine, Castle." She said quietly, watching as his face contorted into a small smirk as she called him _Castle. _He seemed to like that. "I'm not asking you for money or for anything like that. I make enough to be able to support myself and the baby." She repeated, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear before her hands joined again at her middle.

Rick moved a little closer, daring his boundaries. "But if I offer?" He asked softly. "I've been through this before and I know that it gets a little expensive. Hospital visits, appointments, vitamins – hell even the hospital stay when the child is born. It all adds up."

Kate nibbled on her lower lip the more she thought about everything. She wasn't sure how she was going to afford everything she would need. The money she'd received from the sale on her old apartment was enough to keep her going for several months, but maternity pay was very little and she was sure that she would be paying hospital bills until she died but she couldn't morally accept money from Castle. "I can't do that, Rick."

"And why not?" He butted back immediately, not allowing her time to think about the reasons why it was so wrong of her to not want to be financially supported by him. "Kate, I'm not asking a hell of a lot here. I could push for a DNA test, I could put you through the ringer with this child when its born for custody…" he saw the fear flash in her eyes and noticed how her arms tightened around her stomach as he talked about losing her child; already she was so protective. "But I'm not doing any of these things. I simply want to just ensure financially the mother of my child will be fine while she's caring for our child."

The dam broke again as he finished speaking. Kate stared up at him, tears running down her cheeks and then she collapsed onto the couch, burying her face in her hands. For a moment Castle stood, staring down at her incredulously as he tried to figure out what was going on. Her tiny body shook with her sobs and he sat down slowly beside her, resting a hand between her shoulder blades. She stiffened at his touch but didn't move away from it as the sobs continued to wrack her frame.

"Castle," she choked out, lifting her head to him. She shook her head over and over. "I can't do this." She told him, shaking her head. The truth was, she knew she needed to. As soon as her co-workers and boss found out that she was pregnant, she'd be put on desk duty. That meant months and months of paperwork and a significantly lesser pay. "I can't be the woman who got knocked up with Richard Castle's baby and the media portrays as a gold digger."

It was only then that it struck him. He was so used to the gawkers, to the paparazzi sticking their overpriced camera in his face. When it came to his daughter, he was always significantly more protective of her but she'd grown up in that life. To Kate, it was different. She was this detective who hid away in the shadows. If anyone found out that he was having a lovechild with her, she'd be public scrutiny.

But what was there to say to her? He couldn't lie to her, say it would be relatively easy to navigate through the rest of the child's life. It wasn't the child that the media wanted anyway; it was his love life. If they thought that he would have a chance making headways with Kate, they would bleed her dry for information. The media were piranhas and he understood that she wouldn't be used to that type of thing no matter how hard or how long she may be exposed to it.

"Kate," he said as, finally, her sobs subsided to the occasional hiccup. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked up at him. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that this is going to be easy, because it's not. But if you know the truth, what does it matter what they say about you?"

She shook her head and buried her face in her hands again, this time because she was frustrated. Of course he would think that she could just turn a blind eye to the people who would stare at her in the street before and after the child was born. She'd always have someone staring at her, whispering behind her back about being an unwed mother to a famous author's baby. In this day and time, being unwed wasn't the problem. The child's father was.

Her stomach rumbled underneath her palm and she wondered for a moment if she were going to be sick, but she tried to focus on the sound of his voice as opposed to her twisting stomach. "That's easy for you to say," she told him after a moment, the tone of her voice a little bitter than she intended. "You're so used to being attached to every single Jane in town, but I'm not. And I wish my baby wouldn't have to go through the trials of this either." She rubbed her stomach as she spoke, half because of the rolling and half because she wanted to soothe the baby beneath her flesh. The baby had no idea what he or she was going to be born into and she feared that so much.

Castle nodded, but didn't say anything else. Instead, he settled back into her couch and watched her carefully. Her eyes were bloodshot from the tears that had extracted from them and every now and again she would hiccup so hard it made her entire body shake. "I understand," he said and nodded his head. Because he did, he really did. Growing up, his mother had been a Broadway star and she'd been very popular to her own degree with the media, but that didn't mean she didn't try to keep her son away from it as best as was possible.

"This is all my fault," she mumbled into her palms. "I should've thought more about the repercussions of what we did before did."

His head sharply turned toward her. "Kate." He said, grasping onto her shoulder. She unburied her face and stared up at him. "No." His simple statement caused her eyebrows to furrow but she kept a straight face and remained silent, searching his face for answers. "I don't know what they taught you in high school, but the last time I checked, the process of creating a child is the act of two people." She opened her mouth to argue with him – on what he wasn't sure – but he held up his hand. "This isn't anyone's fault, Kate. We may've not been thinking clearly when we had sex, but there's no one at fault in particular for the creation of that child."

She nodded her head after a moment and sighed. How he knew what to say was beyond her. A part of her still wanted anger, because she was very angry at herself. She was so smart, had graduated at the top of her class with honors. And now, she was about to be a twenty four year old with a baby and a dangerous career. The perfect combination. Yet, Castle's words stuck with her. Despite her willingness to place the blame on herself, a part of her was also glad he'd accepted some of the blame on his own shoulders as well.

"I was going to tell you at the book store." She said, out of the blue. It caught him off guard and he lifted his eyebrows as he stared up at her. "But I froze." She pressed her lips together in a fine line and rubbed her palm against her stomach again as the rolling began once more. "I saw your daughter and you and all I could think about was that I was about to ruin that smile you had when you were walking over."

For a writer, Castle was inexplicably left with nothing to say. Kate was bearing her very soul to him, a man she barely knew and he couldn't say a god damn word. His mouth hung open as he stared at her. He'd been tremendously happy when he'd first seen her earlier, happy that she, after all the time that had passed, had come and shown her face to him again. Despite the true reason why she'd found him, he'd been happy.

Maybe a part of him was still happy, despite everything.

After a long moment of silence, Kate looked up at him tiredly and said, "I think you should leave."

Rick knew there was no room for arguing. He was in her apartment, under her roof and he was the guest. It didn't matter that she hadn't one way or the other accepted his proposal to keep her financially secure because he would anyway. "Okay." He said finally, but reached for her phone in her pocket. She looked at him weirdly as he took it out. After asking her to unlock the phone, he pulled up the contact app and typed his name and number in and then sent a text so he had her number on hand. "In case you need to contact me." He explained. "Or vice versa." Kate nodded, but didn't say anything.

Standing up after he laid her phone in her lap, Rick moved toward the door and she rubbed her hand over her face. This was not the way she envisioned her first child. When she was younger, she'd foolishly believed that she would fall in love and marry the first person she met. That she'd have his children and they'd have a dog and a white picket fence.

"When's your next appointment?" He asked before he turned to leave. Kate lifted her head up slightly as she broke from her thoughts at the sound of his voice.

"Monday, 3 PM." She told him. "It was the earliest I could get in to confirm the pregnancy and thus the check-up afterwards."

"I'll be here at one to pick you up." He said, leaving no room for a discussion. "Goodnight, Kate." He said before he opened the door and left.

"Goodnight Rick," she said as she slid down into the cushions.

After a while, Kate stood with the intentions to curl into her sheets when her phone, replaced in the pocket of her sweatshirt, began to vibrate against her stomach. She pulled it out and bit down on her lip once she saw that the incoming call was coming from her father. Heaving out a breath, she answered the call and began moving around the house, turning the lights off and securing the door and windows. "Hi, Dad." She said into the receiver.

"Katie-bug!" Jim said on the other line. He seemed a lot more cheerful than she felt, which she was glad for. Despite his struggle with alcoholism, he seemed to be doing a lot better. She was thankful for that. "How are you doing? It's been a while since we last talked."

The lack of talking was always her fault; she was constantly busy and whenever he had the chance to call – free moments from his equally busy job – she was either busy at work or busy with her friends. She swallowed hard and wondered if over a phone call was the right time to let her father know he was going to be a grandfather. "I've been…" she trailed off, flicking the last light off before she entered her bedroom. She didn't bother turning the light on as she moved into her bedroom and pulled back the covers. "I haven't been that great, Dad." She told him honestly as she curled under the sheets.

She could instantly feel the immense sense of worry that came from her father. "Why?" He asked insistently, and she closed her eyes as she rubbed her eyebrows. "Is it work? Is it someone _at _work?" He paused, and she grimaced. "Is it Josh? Because I can still help you file that restraining order, Katie."

Kate sighed as she listened to her father ramble; he'd been all for her relationship with Josh pre-break up. Josh was good for her, or so everyone had thought. "No, Dad." She sighed softly. "It's not Josh. It's actually something else."

He waited a beat, as though he knew there were something more but Kate needed a moment to collect herself. This wasn't the life she had imagined by far, but it was the one she'd gotten. "What is it, Katie?" He asked quietly.

"Dad," she started, choking back another sob. Dear god, if she spent the next seven months spontaneously crying she was going to rip Castle's dick off and feed it to him. "I'm pregnant." She paused. "You're going to be a Grandpa."

There was silence on the other end and Kate held her breath the entire time. She'd tried to enter the phone call with an open mind, knowing that her father was a very hard man to read. "Whose is it?" He asked after a moment.

"No one you know, Dad." She said, dismissing the idea that she knew was in his head. She'd cut all ties from Josh and luckily wasn't about to spout out his offspring. Well, maybe she would have been better off with that root. "It wasn't planned." She added.

She heard shuffling in the background of the call and she sunk further into her sheets. "Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked, as though he needed permission.

"Um," she paused, mentally going over her free schedule. "Yeah. I should be done work at 4:30ish if a body doesn't drop." She paused and grimaced at her last comment. "We can meet up for dinner? Remy's?"

Jim paused for a moment, but didn't dismiss the idea. "Okay." He agreed. "Take care, Katie." He told her quietly. "Of the both of you."

The simple addition made her feel so much lighter suddenly. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too." He responded before hanging up the phone.

Maybe the situation wasn't ideal, but knowing she had at least a bit of her father's support made her feel better. Placing her phone on the side table, she curled into her sheets and fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Rick crawled into the loft a little after eleven. After speaking with Kate, he needed time to let his mind clear so he'd taken a drive. When he moved inside, the loft was nearly silent except for the flipping of book pages. On the couch sat his mother with her reading glasses perched on the edge of her nose. As she heard the door close quietly, she turned her head in his direction, eyeing him carefully.

Her gaze was scrutinizing, as though she knew whatever he'd flown off to do earlier had been with purpose and she needed answers.

It wasn't like when he was younger, after he'd sneak out of his room and she'd spend hours upon hours waiting for him to return home so she could knock some sense into him. It never worked, as it happened again and again until the novelty of sneaking out wasn't worth it anymore. Now, though, he wasn't sneaking in. It wasn't an absurd hour of the night. But he felt just as heavy then as he did all those other times when he was caught. Instead of stalking off to his room, he moved to sit down beside her on the couch.

Martha, sensing his discomfort closed her book and glasses, laying the lighter of the two on top of the other. "How was your trip?" She asked him lightly, raising her eyebrows. It had been more than the trip that she was interesting in, but she was fishing for him to give the information freely. Castle let out a sigh as he rubbed the ball of his hand against one of his eyes.

"Not quite what I expected," he answered as he dropped his hand and looked at her. "How long's Alexis been down?" He asked before he continued.

Martha seemed to sense the change in mood and she straightened up. "Since nine. Poor girl hasn't stayed up until her nine-thirty bedtime since she assigned it herself."

Rick nodded, collecting the thoughts in his head. "The night before Alexis' birthday I came into town." He said, starting his story at a relatively early point. "I had a few hours to kill before I planned to come home, grab a nap and then spend the rest of the day with her so I went out to a local club."

His head tilted back as he thought about that night and what he could remember it. Martha watched him with a frown on her face, but didn't comment or interrupt him at all.

"I had a few drinks, one thing led to another and I went home with a woman." He told her and caught the eye roll she gave him. "Hey, we live in a no judgment household, Mother. I can't tell you how many times I've heard you bring up your graydar." He tossed at her and she narrowed her eyes in his direction, but gestured for him to keep going. "Anyway, she came to the signing earlier this evening and well, left her phone. That's why I went over there tonight." He paused, closing his eyes. "And then she told me she was pregnant."

"Oh, Richard, darling." He heard his mother sigh. He opened his eyes and dropped his gaze, suddenly feeling like the teenager again. "What is she going to do?"

"She plans to keep it." He told her, eyeing the upstairs. Alexis was a fairly heavy sleeper and for that he was grateful. Telling his mother was one thing, but informing his daughter would be a different and more difficult task.

"And how do you feel about that?" She pressured, her tone causing him to finally lift and meet her eyes.

"When it was Meredith, I practically begged her to keep Alexis." He said instead, dancing around the issue. "But with Kate, that's her name, she was very adamant that she was going to raise the child, even so much as put the blame on herself for what happened… she wouldn't even accept money from me at first."

Martha nodded and took in his words. "So you're saying…?"

"She's different. And maddening. And challenging." He bit his lower lip. "She's a mystery I'm never going to solve."

Patting her son on the shoulder, she leaned forward. "You wanna know a secret, darling?" She asked. "The good ones always are." Standing up, she pressed a kiss to his hairline and moved toward the stairs. "Goodnight, Richard." She called behind her as she ascended.

"Goodnight mother," he called back, standing up and moving into the bedroom. There was always tomorrow to worry about what he was going to tell his daughter, and how he and Kate were going to move further in their relationship – or the lack there of – but right now, his body yearned for sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** So this chapter came rather quickly, actually. I wrote it the same night I wrote Chapter 4, but decided not to publish it until the day after. I have my reasons. (It currently being 4am at the time of finishing being one of them.) I understand that this chapter is quite literally one big scene with sub scenes (Martha-Rick, Kate-Jim) but I like the format of this chapter. You see, I thought the conversation between Rick and Kate had to be lengthy and such because it was very important.

Also, if you feel like Kate was being a little emotional in this chapter, blame it on the hormones. When my sister-in-law was pregnant, she was hormonal from literally the day she found out about it. So in many ways, her hormones are reflected in Kate because that is what I have experience with. Also a quick google search informed me that women react to the hormone change differently. With Kate, I think she has a lot on her plate right now and the hormone imbalance is making her a little crazy – hence all the crying LOL!

Either way, thank you to everyone who is reading, following, reviewing and favoriting. I hope that I can continue the daily updates. I am really enjoying this fanfic a lot. Thank you again!

Also a quick note: the next chapter will be three months (roughly) in the future. Yay for time changes!

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	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room in what Castle called the "pregnancy wing" was always suffocating. There were too many women, too many people staring at them. Of course, for the most part, her pregnancy hadn't been exploited but the more appointments they attended together, the more the tongues wagged. She wasn't sure how long they could keep their son or daughter a secret. Her hand slid down the length of her swollen abdomen as she thought about the prospect and a sigh pushed through her lips sadly.

The past three months had been a change for both of them. It started with her morning sickness – which got much worse before it got better – and the nights he spent tending to her. She'd tried to deny the help at first but with Lanie and her father constantly working, her only excuses to get out of seeing him, and her depleting amount of energy, and she'd been left with no choice but to accept it.

She couldn't complain, in all of the time that he had spent with her he'd been nothing but a gentleman. After the morning-evening-night sickness had subsided, he became her on-call worker for food and he never complained once. Well, aside from the time when she'd called him in the middle of the night and demanded a deep fried mars bar. She supposed that was a different situation, though.

The pregnancy had progressed into its twentieth week just a few days before and they'd been talking back and forth about the decision as to whether they wanted to know the gender. She hadn't made a clear decision yet. As much as she liked the element of surprise, of giving birth to a baby and only learning what it was then, she also liked the idea of designing a room for her child with a specific gender in mind. Castle had been fairly quiet during that talk, but she hadn't pushed why.

He was very reserved and quiet, despite his famous persona, and perhaps that was just out of respect for her but whatever the case, she appreciated it.

That morning he'd shown up at her apartment a half an hour earlier than they had intended. He'd been bouncing on his feet at that point, too energized for a nine o'clock wake-up but the moment he suggested food, she was dressed and ready to go. Baby Bear, as she'd amorously nicknamed her child, was in a constant craving for food now despite its initial aversion to it.

In terms of her job, she'd been lucky for the most part. After informing her co-workers and boss that she was with child, she'd been regretfully put on desk duty. She knew it was only a safety precaution, but the boredom seeped so much easier when she was attached to the desk all day. There'd been a few times when she'd arranged the murder board in different orders because paperwork tired her out and sitting there had drove her crazy. It was a running joke between her partners, Ryan and Esposito, what they would come back to after they returned from following up on a lead.

Kate knew she was extremely lucky to have the support from everyone that she did. Even her boss, once nicknamed _Iron Gates_ due to her outward persona, had told her that any and all days that she would need off were at her expense. Thankfully, today was one of them.

All of this rolled around in her head as she and Castle sat side by side. He was relatively quiet this morning, despite the amount of energy he'd shown up on her doorstep with, but he watched her with a careful glance as she continued to nibble on the bear claw that he'd bought her along with her decaffeinated drink. Even though she'd read online that a cup of coffee didn't lead to negative effects in terms of the child, he was very adamant about the decaffeinated products so she didn't push it. As much as she missed the silkiness of an actual cup of coffee, she'd rather not risk anything.

Kate caught him glancing again as she chewed the last piece of the bear claw. She chewed it up and crumbled the packaging it had come in into a small ball, tucking it into the side of her purse. After she swallowed, she lifted her head up to see his gaze. "What?" She asked, slightly irritated. She was used to his staring; most of the time it was welcomed. But she could have sworn he hadn't blinked in the last five minutes and that was creeping her out.

"Nothing," he said quickly, blinking finally. She let out a soft sigh, though if it were from relief or irritation she wasn't sure. Narrowing her eyes at him, she silently pressed but he didn't falter from his original stance.

Still slightly hungry, she opened her purse – which had tripled in size since the beginning of the cravings – and began digging through the compartments. Somewhere in the midst of moving, a single card had fallen from her purse on the ground. Kate, too transfixed in the decision between a bag of skittles or m&m's, hadn't even realized it.

Castle glanced at her for a moment before leaning down to take the card in his hand. He pressed his thumb in between the opening of the card, which read _You are Cordially invited… _on the outside.

Kate, tossing the bag of skittles back down into her bag, glanced up at him and the card he was reading. "What's this?" He asked, offering it back to her. She grabbed the card and stuffed it back in her bag quickly.

"It's nothing," she insisted, though she'd known he'd read it. Just a couple of days before, Ryan had given her his invitation to his wedding. She was friends with his wife; whenever Jenny came into the precinct she'd always made a special effort to see Kate, especially now that she was pregnant. But she hadn't seriously considered going to the wedding.

Castle's hard set gaze seemed to penetrate her. She knew she should have thrown out the damn invitation or given it back to Ryan that day. Even though Castle, in his own right, was a very mannered man, sometimes he didn't know when to stop and set the boundaries. It was the only thing that really irritated her about him, that and his insistent need for humor in any situation. "It didn't seem like nothing…" he said casually, elongating their conversation.

He wouldn't let her know that it bothered him to think that she would bring someone else. He didn't own her, nor did he have any claim to her. The only thing tying them together was the child that grew in her womb. Other than that, despite how much he'd learned of Kate Beckett since they'd first met, there really wasn't a reason as to why he felt a slight twinge of jealousy.

Kate, on the other hand, wanted to curl in on herself. Things had been changing lately; her hormones were all over the place, her breasts were expanding – so much so that she had to continuously buy bras to support them – and most of all, the way she'd seen herself for so long was changing. She'd grown up fairly skinny, the envy of most everyone she knew. But with every passing day she was gaining more and more pounds. She no longer saw herself as beautiful, more or less the up and coming beached whale that she was _so_ looking forward to.

"It doesn't matter." She said to him sharply, opening the pack of her m&m's and popping one into her mouth. She shook her head as he kept glancing at her. "It doesn't." She insisted, rubbing her belly gently. The babe within moved, pressing his or her foot against the wall of her womb. She patted the slight protrusion lightly and they dropped their foot down after a moment.

"Then why are you getting so defensive?" He pressed and Kate growled at him. She lifted her glowering glare and he thought for a moment about backing down. "See, there it is again."

Kate rolled her eyes at him, popping another m&m in her mouth as she offered the bag at him. He shook his head. "It's my partner's wedding." She explained to him once she realized he had no intentions on dropping the subject. "I had no plans to go." She added after a moment, stuffing her mouth with m&m's after she finished speaking.

"Why not?" He asked quizzically. Kate swallowed the food in her mouth and sighed at him, but didn't answer. She glanced up at the time, just past ten which meant it wasn't too long until the appointment, thankfully. Maybe she could distract him from asking questions for the next twenty or so minutes. "Bitter war with the bride?" He asked teasingly, narrowing his eyes.

"No, no." Kate said quickly, shaking her head. "I love Jenny."

"Then what's the problem?" Castle persisted and she let out another sigh, her shoulders shrinking lower.

Rolling the opening of the bag of candy down, she stuffed it into a pocket and zipped it up. "I just didn't feel like it." She said quietly, rubbing a palm over her stomach.

It was like suddenly that one comment set of a wildfire in Castle's mind. He remembered Meredith, who hadn't allowed anyone to touch her, let alone him, because of the way she saw herself. He hadn't even taken into consideration that Kate would feel the same way. "Oh, Kate." He sighed sadly.

"Don't condescend me." She said sharply, staring away from him. "I don't need you to lie to me, either."

Castle felt his heart break a little for this woman had no idea how truly beautiful she was. He supposed he saw her through a different gaze, but even still. Swollen with their child, Kate was even more beautiful than the day he'd first met her. There was no intentions in his thinking, no attempt to get something out of it for him. Kate shifted in her sheet under his gaze. "I wouldn't lie to you." He said after a long moment, placing a hand on her arm. "But I still think you're beautiful."

Kate fought the smile that tugged on the corners of her lips and stared up at him plainly. Sometimes she wondered why Rick was being so nice to her, why he took so much consideration into making her feel special. He had no ties to her, no need to really be around. Perhaps, even despite her initial thought of him, there was a good man underneath the playboy charm he pushed out to celebutants and dingbats. "Would you go with me?" She asked shyly, ducking her head. The redness colored her cheeks and she shook her head softly. "I'm… I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."

Castle reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it softly. "I'd love to be your plus one, Kate."

That was all she needed. Lifting her eyes up to meet his, she opened her mouth to speak when she heard –

"_Kate Beckett!_"

* * *

Castle stayed outside of the room, leaning against the wall, as Kate and the baby were checked over. It hadn't been a request from either Kate or the nurse, but the last thing he wished was to make her feel uncomfortable, so he'd offered.

Twenty minutes after she'd entered the room, which felt more like an hour, the nurse came out and told him that she'd be back in a few moments and he was allowed to enter.

Kate was pressed against the examining table when he entered, her hair a messy halo around her head. She offered him a soft smile and stifled a yawn. "I have to pee so badly." She told him and he chuckled, moving to stand by her side. "She just told me she'd be like five more minutes and I had to refrain from punching her in the face."

Castle chuckled a little harder at her comment, reaching to grab her hand gently. He squeezed it in between his. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

"I'll show you fine," she told him, slapping his chest.

They fell into a comfortable silence and only a moment or two later, the nurse resumed back in the room, carrying the ultrasound machine along with her. "Luckily," she said, clearly out of breath. "We have about ten of these in the hospital. Unfortunately, this one was on the other end of this hall."

She began moving around, setting things up. After a few minutes, she slid up beside Kate with the clear gel. "Up with the shirt, Mama." She said, helping Kate lift the fabric up over her protruding belly. "Now, this is gonna be colder than a trip to Alaska. Promise, I've been there." She shook the liquid lightly. "I try to warm it up as much as possible, but I don't think you're actually supposed to feel warmth with this thing." She shrugged and squirted a fair amount of the liquid onto Kate's stomach. The sensation caused her to shiver and squeal little.

"Shit," the word left her mouth before she could stop it. "Never gonna get used to that."

The nurse nodded her head and pressed the wand against her skin. After a moment of searching, she stopped and pressed a manicured finger against the screen. "And there is baby."

Kate wasn't sure if she would ever get used to this moment. Seeing her child on the screen, it was so surreal. The weight gain and the morning sickness and the increasing appearance of heartburn be damned, this was what made it real for her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt Castle's hand grip hers a little harder. Turning her head up to see him, she saw the prickle of tears in the corners of his eyes and turned her gaze back to the screen.

Castle was in as much awe as she was, if not more. When Alexis was still in the womb, he hadn't been permitted the visits. Meredith had barely even wanted to go to them. Seeing the new child was a first for him and her both. His heart swelled with love and he pressed a kiss to the back of Kate's hand out of excitement. She didn't react, too focused on the image on the screen.

"Baby looks good," the nurse said after a moment. "Just a little shorter than what they should be. Weight is on par and everything seems to be going good." She turned to the expectant parents. "And I got a clear shot of Baby's genitalia." She paused. "Are we finding out if baby is a he or a she today?"

"Yes." Kate said quickly, turning to Rick, who didn't argue with her. He just nodded his head and focused on the screen again.

The nurse nodded and learned in, surveying the scene for a moment. "Congratulations!" She said after a moment. "Looks like Baby is a boy."

* * *

Telling people that Baby BC (Beckett-Castle, something they'd mutually agreed on) was a boy was uplifting. Kate had been on half a dozen shopping trips with Aunt Lanie who was bound and determined to spoil her godson and Castle had been on at least four of those. If not for support with holding the bags, then to remind Lanie that Kate didn't have the energy of a bunny anymore and needed time to sit in between stores.

When Kate told her father about his grandson, though, it had made her cry. Growing up as an only child, she'd always been closer to her father. None of that changed after she learned she was pregnant; in fact, she'd seen him more in the last couple of months than she had in years. He hadn't even had a drink since learning of the pregnancy and if that wasn't a miracle then she wasn't sure. She could still remember the look on his face when she told him and how he'd moved to her side of the booth and hugged her tightly and told her that her mother would have been proud of her.

That was what started the water works.

Kate didn't speak of her mother much, nor of Castle and his father. It was an unspoken deal between them that they never delved into that part of their past.

A month had passed since that day at the doctor's and thus meant Kevin Ryan's wedding. Kate had been extremely nervous about it, especially after she'd given in the notice that she'd be attending and with a plus one. There'd been a couple of looks from her partners, but they didn't question it. When Jenny had called her the following day and asked for names, the woman had been extremely happy to know she'd finally meet him.

They sat in his car service outside of the church while she stared at the people wandering in. She wore a blue wrap dress that tied around the back, the 3/4 sleeves extending just below her elbow. The dress itself accented her growing baby bump, and was all over Lanie's idea but she didn't exactly abandon the idea either.

Rick leaned over and grasped her hand gently. He cleaned up very nice, in a suit that cost three times as much as her dress did, and offered her a smile when her eyes met his. "You ready to go in?" He asked softly. She only nodded and opened the door, sliding out onto her flat feet.

That was another joy of pregnancy; she was so used to wearing her heels, they gave her a sense of power. Now, her feet were almost always too swollen to fit into them so she sufficed with flats.

Castle slid out behind her, saying something that she couldn't pick out to the driver as his feet hit the pavement beside hers. He had a good five inches on her without her heels on, which gave him a slight advantage. But that didn't mean if he tried anything she wouldn't elbow him in the groin. She was on perfect level with that.

Staring at the women who entered, Kate felt self-conscious suddenly. At twenty four weeks pregnant, her bump was much more noticeable. It was hard to miss, frankly. Everywhere she went, it was the first thing that showed up. But these women, aside from the elder family members who seemed to be happy with the plumpness, were like frigging super models. She tensed the more she thought about it, her fingers digging into the front of her bump.

"Kate," his voice was in her ear and she jumped slightly, her shoulder knocking his jaw. He jutted it slightly but didn't comment on the pain. "You're beautiful." He promised and held his hand out to her. Kate glanced up at him for a moment longer and took his proffered hand, allowing him to lead them toward the opening of the church.

Lanie found them in the front entrance and grabbed Kate's wrist away from Castle, who dropped her hand reluctantly. "Girl, I knew you would look great in that!" She grinned and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad you came, it means a lot to Kevin." She whispered in her friend's ear. Kate nodded and squeezed her back.

Pulling away after a moment, she eyed Rick carefully but said nothing. Esposito moved up behind her, tugging Kate into a hug as well. "Chica," he said softly. "You look great."

As Javier pulled away from her, Kate smiled her thanks and maneuvered back to Rick's side just as the man of the hour, Kevin, bounced toward them. "Hey guys!" He grinned. "Thank you for coming!"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," Kate spoke for all of them and he nudged a little closer to her, accepting the hug she offered to him. He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he pulled away and then his gaze set on Rick.

"So you must be Castle." He said quickly and Javier moved to stand behind him, though Lanie grabbed his arm quickly.

"Uh uh." She said quickly, shaking her finger at both of them. "Kate Beckett does not need you two to be her keepers." She moved to stand in between them, glancing up at Rick. "Please excuse the goons."

Rick offered her a polite smile and nodded his head. "No harm, no foul." Turning his head down to Kate, he met her gaze. "Shall we?" He said, gesturing toward the open door.

Kate nodded as he slid his palm onto her lower back, rubbing slow circles. "I'll see you two 'goons' later. Still saving you a seat, Lanie?"

Her friend simply nodded and Kate began leading the way to the open door. Castle's hand resumed its place on the small of her back as they moved inside. Behind her, Kate could have sworn she heard Lanie talking them down, but she'd ask her friend about that later.

* * *

The wedding was beautiful; the wedding party aligned easily and then, after the crowd stood, the bride descended. Jenny was beautiful, but had no idea anyone else was watching her as she moved toward her husband. As the two joined at the end of the aisle, her father giving her away, the crowd sat down.

Lanie sat on the other side of Kate, watching the two of them and the wedding simultaneously. Since she and Rick had become friends, Lanie had always watched, as though she was waiting for some grand finale of their relationship to sprout up. Despite how many times Kate had reminded her that wasn't ever going to happen, she still watched.

Somewhere during the vows, the baby began to move inside of her, his kicking now much stronger than before. It hurt sometimes, like when he found his way in under her ribs and began kicking there, but now the kicking resumed in the middle of her stomach. She rubbed gently for a moment, hoping to soothe the babe, but her response to his actions seemed to only spur him on further.

Kate reached over conspicuously and took Rick's right palm and placed it against her stomach. It startled him some, and she felt his eyes lower to her actions, but she placed it just above where their son was kicking and covered his hand with hers.

Rick left it there for a moment, his eyes on her the entire time she was watching the union of her partner and his soon-to-be-wife.

He wasn't sure where they were going to go, but his growing admiration of her was startling. As their son kicked against his palm, he thought for a dangerous moment that he felt love for the woman carrying his child.

Maybe it was too soon to tell, but Richard Castle was slowly falling in love with Kate Beckett.

* * *

**A/N**: Weeeee, and there is chapter 6! I am super excited for this fanfic. Actually, like super duper excited. Now, originally Ryan's wedding wasn't scheduled to be in this fanfic. But since I am all here for Jenny/Kate's friendship I had to add it. You will see Jenny again, promise. ;) And well, this is sort of CB's first official "date" even though it's not being called one. Writer's credit to the lovely **Cami** who helped me plot the little detail of Castle finding the invitation and thus the little scene before the wedding.

Thank you so much for the support, guys. It means a lot. I am astounded by the response I am getting for this fic!

Next up, it will be a few weeks in the future. 32 weeks for poor Kate!

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	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

When the time hit, Kate knew it. It wasn't a progressive feeling of deep turmoil and longing for the end. No, when it came time to remove herself from work and start kicking back, she knew more than anything else. That morning, she'd woken up with a blistering headache that engulfed her mind in flames. Her back throbbed with each incoming second and her irritation for pregnancy had hit an all-time high. Though only thirty-two weeks at the time, and the extensive amount of time available for maternity being twelve, Kate had moved into her Captain's office and requested that she be put on maternity leave as soon as was possible.

So that left her with approximately eight weeks left to go with her pregnancy – more so seven when the paperwork was finally put through and she was alleviated of her duties – and only a couple thousand to her name. She knew she could do it, had planned well ahead from this and had her apartment money stashed away for when each month came along.

And then, after building maintenance shut down the elevator, she was walking down the stairs as carefully as possible – her bump was becoming her greatest enemy when it came to walking, especially not being able to see her feet – and unluckily, she slipped and fell onto her back.

Eight hours in a hospital room with monitors on her stomach and her, she was told that she hadn't sustained too much damage, and the baby was fine. They'd detected mild contractions, but nothing to worry about. That was the great news, and she'd been so relieved to hear it. The Doctor had explained to her that falling down on her back had been much better than if she had fallen down on her abdomen.

The bad news? Somewhere in that time, her I.C.E (in case of emergency) had been called. Lanie had rushed out of work to her side and remained there the entire day. That had been fine, but when Lanie called Castle into the mix, she'd contemplating murdering her friend and leaving her body on the side of the road.

Rick was a lot of things: caring, kind and wonderful. However, he had an irrational streak that drove her absolutely batshit crazy. Sitting in the hospital wondering what was going to happen to her child was one thing, but having to deal with him was another thing altogether. Not that she didn't appreciate the caring, it was just… she was petrified and having him in her ear, telling her all of the things she could have done in his irrational state made her feel worse than she already did.

Of course, as soon as the news of the baby's health was in order he'd apologized profusely and even offered her and Lanie a ride home. Lanie had declined, but Kate figured it was easier than taking a cab.

That was when it started again, though. At thirty three weeks pregnant, she was well capable of taking care of herself. The moment Castle found out she was staying in a building where the elevator wasn't working and the only option to climb to her apartment was stairs, he'd been a little apprehensive. And had walked up six flights with her to test her, she was sure.

Kate practically crawled into her apartment, kicking her shoes off on the way inside. Her back hurt tremendously from the natural pain of her expanding stomach coupled with the nasty fall she'd taken earlier that day. She was sure she'd have bruises there until the child was eighteen. Rick followed along like an obedient puppy, monitoring her moves and when she finally was propped up against a pillow, feet kicked up, he sat down beside her and sighed softly. The entire morning spent in the hospital had been slightly hectic for the both of them, though Kate couldn't find it in her heart to feel bad for him. She was the one in agonizing pain, after all.

"Have you called into work and explained to them what happened?" He asked softly, always full of questions. Kate's irritation from the morning melted quickly, though. She knew he was only asking those questions because he genuinely cared for her health. That was what she'd grown to love about Rick; as much of an asshole he could be, for the ones he genuinely cared for, he was the most wonderful man of all. Her admiration for him stemmed fully from that.

She wouldn't call it love, that seemed too obtuse, but admiration seemed to fit it quite nicely.

Running her hand over her forehead, she shook her head. In the past few days since she'd finally been put on maternity leave, she hadn't kept up with him really. It'd only been a day or so since it happened, so she couldn't exactly been blamed. "Castle," she sighed softly. "I'm officially on maternity leave. I don't have to tell work anything."

He seemed slightly relieved at that idea, and rightfully so. With each day it became increasingly hard for her to get dressed and going to work in a cab was becoming expensive, but they'd taken her Crown Victoria from her the day she hit her second trimester. But for once, he said nothing.

Kate, however, saw right through him. She saw the gears in his mind shift around. In retrospect, when she noticed him thinking too much, she knew she should have stopped him then and there. And yet, she couldn't stop the tumble of words that poured from his lips.

"I think you should move in with me."

Blinking furiously, Kate moved to sit up – though that itself was a task – and leaned forward in his direction. "You think _what_?" She asked him, cocking her eyebrow.

Rick barely heard her, though he continued anyway. "Well, if today is any consolation of what happens when I leave you alone –"

"Castle," she sighed, rubbing her belly as their son began his daily acrobat class. "That was an accident, I can't see my feet."

"And why were you on the stairs in the first place?" He tossed back quickly, his eyes lit up the way a child's would if they were excited. She bit down on her lip to fight the incoming smile as she thought about their son. She found herself hoping he would resemble Castle more than her. "Your apartment has no deadline on when this elevator is going to be fixed." He reminded her and she sighed, leaning back into her pillow. There was no used to being uncomfortable while he ranted. "Kate, you're thirty-three weeks pregnant, you shouldn't have to climb up and down six flights of stairs whenever you need something."

"Isn't that what you're for?" She said quickly, cocking an eyebrow. "I can just remain dormant in my apartment for the rest of my pregnancy and make you bring me stuff when I need it." She shrugged, tossing the idea out there. It was highly implausible, and they both knew it. Not that Castle was particularly against spending the next seven weeks giving her undying attention, but because Kate would rarely stay in the same place. She would become stir crazy before the end of the pregnancy.

"You know it's not that." He told her and she nodded her head, shifting uncomfortably when the baby's foot kicked in under her ribs. Rick held his breath for a moment and watched her, on high alert. "It's only a few short weeks until the baby will be here, and especially when the time comes, it'll be easier for the both of us."

He had a point, she thought. In spite of the only ten minute drive to her apartment from his loft, if she were to go in labor in the middle of the night, It would be a lot more inconvenient for him to come all the way there and then double back to the hospital she'd chosen.

But was that really a reason to move in with him? Kate had strived on her independence the entirety of her pregnancy. It didn't matter how involved Castle wanted to be, she was very keen on the idea that she wanted nothing more than her own space in this whole thing. The idea of moving in with him kind of set off sparks in her mind that she couldn't control.

They hadn't talked about what would happen post-baby. Each of them had begun to set up their own nursery in their respective homes. They had both planned for the baby without the other and she supposed that was the way they had to do it considering they weren't in a relationship.

What about the first few months after the baby was born? She'd have to return to work so soon after the baby was born, less than two months afterwards if she went to term and then what? The baby be tossed between them. With Daddy during the day and Mommy during the night? Her head ached the more she thought about it.

"This isn't about just you and me anymore, Kate." He told her and he was so right. From the moment she'd found out she was pregnant, everything they'd done and everything they would do was in the name of their son. She swallowed down her pride and ran her hand over her stomach. This could all blow up in their faces, they could become enemies but how did she know what was going to happen if she never gave it a chance?

"Fine." She said softly, running her fingers through her hair. "I'll move in with you." She saw his eyes light up somewhat. "On one condition: I pay rent."

He opened his mouth to argue, though somehow he knew it wouldn't do any good. "Kate, I can't expect you to do that."

"Rick," she sighed softly, rolling her eyes. "I'm not going to freeload off of you."

"It's not freeloading." He told her and she frowned at him. "This is my way of spending more time with you and the baby before he comes around." He offered instead and she eyed him carefully as he shifted on the couch, angling his body more toward hers. "This is my way of letting my children have a better relationship."

It struck her then that this was a whole different ball game for Castle. For her, she was just dealing with the trials of being a single mother and the father wanting to be involved. But for him, he already had a child. A child who was old enough to understand what was going on, but was often left out of the equation when it came to things. Kate frowned softly, unaware of how she'd forgotten to accept Alexis into her life when she'd found out she was pregnant.

Alexis was a beautiful little girl, intelligent beyond her years and often times a lot more mature than Castle was. She'd only met the child a handful of times, one of them being the night that they'd told her she was pregnant, but she'd gotten a good impression of the girl from the moment they'd met.

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

When he'd asked her to the loft after her appointment, she wasn't sure what she expected. The moment they moved inside, he was met with a warm gaze from his mother and a questioning gaze from his daughter. "Mother, Alexis," he said softly. "This is Kate."

The only thing she could think to do was wave her hand.

She stared down at the girl, a smile crossing her face. Alexis politely stared back and said, "Hello" before she returned back to her book. She felt Rick's hand on her back, urging forward and then turned to look up at him then back at where his mother had been, but the room had been cleared.

That was when she realized what was going on. Suddenly, she felt claustrophobic. Like the walls were caving in on her and the only way out was to run but her feet wouldn't carry her.

"Alexis," Rick's voice was practically in her ear and her breathing increased. He seemed to sense her discomfort and began rubbing slow circles on her lower back. "I've got something to tell you."

His daughter's curiosity didn't settle in immediately. She turned a few pages, then held up one finger and dived back into her book. Kate closed her eyes and sat down on the arm of the chair, Rick's palm moving away from her back as she slunk forward. After a moment, Alexis placed her bookmark in her book and straightened up to meet her father's gaze. "Yes?"

She wondered if he'd ever thought he'd be here, telling his daughter about an illegitimate child he were having with the woman sitting on the arm of the couch. He probably hadn't thought that it would happen like this, probably assumed that he would have married and settled down when he had this conversation with her. She rubbed her hand over face as she struggled to stay calm. There was nothing calming about this situation.

"A baby?" Alexis asked calmly, staring between Rick and Kate. She'd been so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard Castle tell her about what was going on. Swallowing, she nodded her head, her hand moving to her stomach as though she felt she needed to almost protect her child. "How long do I have to wait?" She asked, which caught Kate off guard.

She'd expected denial, anger, maybe even hatred. However, as she was beginning to learn there was no expecting the expected from the Castles. She heard Rick chuckle beside her, but couldn't hear what she said as she kept her gaze on the girl in front of her.

With Alexis' smile of excitement, she felt more at ease than ever before.

* * *

_PRESENT DAY_

Castle nudged her lightly, breaking Kate out of the reverie she'd fallen in. She pulled back and shook her head, glancing at him curiously. "You didn't answer me." He said quietly.

It was only then that she realized she really hadn't.

"Have it your way, Castle." She said finally. "But just so you know, I sleep with a gun."

The laughter that came afterwards only made her smile grow larger.

* * *

"Have you and Dad talked about names?" Alexis asked curiously as they sat, watching some cartoon called _Adventure Time_ while the Rick, Javier and Kevin moved around them, bringing boxes through the opened front door and up the stairs where Kate would sleep. The placement of the room had totally been against Castle's idea, especially the stairs thing. Kate had joked, worst come to worst, she'd just remain in her room and have him be her personal waiter.

"… Hmm?" Kate asked, turning her head toward the little girl. She'd only been half listening to what she'd been telling her since she'd sat down earlier that day. She'd been preoccupied with the amount of stuff that was being carried into her room and the stuff that she would have to tell them to take to the baby's room.

"Have you and Dad talked about names?" Alexis repeated politely. Kate turned her head to Rick's daughter and shook her head. "Really?" She seemed perplexed by the idea. "But the baby is only six weeks away, I think Daddy said."

It was becoming more and more clear that she and Castle were so far away from ready for this child, but she was positive that they would do everything in their power to make sure everything would go the way she'd always envisioned for her child. "We are more the spontaneous kind of people," she joked, though the look his daughter gave her told her she was lapping up every inch of her jokes.

"I like the name Ethan." She told her quietly. "There's a boy named Ethan in my book that I'm reading."

Kate took a moment to contemplate what Alexis had told her, tossing the name around in her head. When she was younger, she'd always liked the name Alexander but it was too close to Alexis for her liking so she'd tossed the idea of that name out almost immediately. "I like that too, actually." She said, pursing her lower lip out the more she thought about it. _Ethan Beckett-Castle_ did have a ring to it.

Alexis' face broke out into a smile as she glanced up at Kate. The smile she shared with her touched her heart and the baby seemed to agree with the choice, kicking happily at her stomach. Kate placed her hand on top of the area, rubbing a small circle. "Is he kicking?" Alexis asked, kneeling in front of Kate suddenly. Her blue eyes were full of wonder.

"Mmm." Kate murmured, glancing down at her bump. It rolled with each kick and she laughed quietly.

"Can I feel?" Alexis asked and Kate took a moment to consider her question. Not because she didn't feel comfortable; no, in the last few months she'd gotten used to people learning she was pregnant and their initial reaction being to touch her belly and talk to her belly. But here Alexis was, the child's sister, asking as though she needed permission.

After Kate nodded her head, Alexis moved closer with a timid glance, placing her hand on top of the bump. Kate guided her tiny hand in the direction of where exactly the baby was kicking and watched as the young girl's jaw dropped softly. "Oh!" She gasped. "He's strong."

Kate laughed softly. "You're telling me."

Transfixed with the feeling, Alexis said nothing, but kept her palm overtop of the kicking. "Hi, baby." She said quietly, leaning her lips closer to Kate's bump. "I'm your big sister."

* * *

Later that night, Kate was on the couch, a bowl of her favorite ice cream perched on top of her belly while she watched television. "Hey!" She said, lifting the bowl off of her stomach as it once again almost toppled to her lap. "I thought we had an agreement. I let you stay for nine months and you let me eat in peace."

Behind her, she heard a chuckle but despite her best movements, she couldn't turn in its direction. She assumed the owner of said chuckle was Rick anyway. Alexis had long gone to bed after chatting with the baby and Martha had gone out earlier. If it wasn't Castle, then she questioned who he was bringing around.

Rounding the couch, Rick moved to sit beside her. "What are you watching?" He asked, kicking his stocking feet onto the coffee table beside her.

Kate placed the bowl back on her stomach and shrugged softly. "The Bachelor reruns."

"I didn't think you would be into that kind of show." He replied back, turning his head toward the TV. In all he'd heard about this seasons Bachelor, he'd been pretty pompous. Not the ideal guy most women who watched the show fawned over.

He got into the episode somewhat, though, and as the rose ceremony progressed to the end and the episode ended, he heard quiet sniffling beside him and rose an eyebrow. It took him a moment, but he glanced over at Kate who's ice cream was now gone and eyes were redder than the pajama top she was wearing.

"It's just so sad!" She sobbed, scooping up the liquid remains of her ice cream and shoving the spoon into her mouth. She slammed the spoon back into the bowl. "These girls loved him so much and he's just… he used them for entertainment purposes!" She glanced over at him, trying to get him to understand. "He doesn't love any of them. He deserves to be the one lonely at the end of all of this, not them!" She cried harder and Rick moved to comfort her but she just handed him her bowl. "I hate men." She said, wiping her eyes. "Especially you."

"What did I do?" He asked, reverting to defensive mode as he placed the bowl down on his lap. It was still cold, but he ignored it.

"What haven't you done?" She threw her hands up at him. "First you get me pregnant and then get me this fucking ice cream." She pointed at the bowl, growling.

Rick looked at her, perplexed. "You told me that it was your favorite?"

"It is!" She cried and he stared longer, not sure what the problem was. "You're not supposed to encourage me to eat it, though!"

"Okay." He told her, nodding like he understood, but that just tipped her off more. She growled and turned back to the TV, intent on ignoring him. Rick took this as a sign and left her to vent on her own, taking her bowl into the kitchen and washing it out before he dropped it and the spoon into the dishwasher.

After a few minutes, he returned back to the couch. Kate was staring at the blank screen, pursing her lips outward. "Are we ready for this?" She asked suddenly, causing his face to contort in confusion.

"Ready for what?" He asked stupidly. Or at least she thought so.

"This baby!" She cried, on the verge of tears again. She was ten seconds away from living up to her promise to rip his dick off and feed it to him. "We don't have his room set up, we don't have a car seat for him." She choked again, turning away from him as she began to try and collect herself. "We don't even have a name for him yet!"

Rick licked his lips as he tried to think of where to start with the conversation. "The room I had for him is already painted. The only thing left to buy is a crib." He told her calmly, watching as she eased back into her seat and wiped her eyes again. "There's a car seat in his room. I'll show you it tomorrow."

"But the name…" she trailed off softly. "Our baby doesn't even have a name. He's gonna come out thinking his name is Baby."

Rick took in her words. "As much as that's the least weird name I've heard, I'm on board with the name idea." He agreed, settling into the corner of the couch as he glanced at her. "So, do you have any ideas?"

Kate rubbed her hand over the expanse of her stomach. "Alexis mentioned 'Ethan' to me earlier." She told him softly. "I kind of like that."

Ethan, he thought. He tossed the name around in his head as he sat there. "I like it." He agreed, nodding his head. "That's an option."

"He liked it too," she told him with a small smile on her face. She rubbed her stomach as she spoke. Rick smiled back at her, placing a hand over top of her stomach. Kate placed her hand on top of his and squeezed lightly. "So I think that's a choice, not an option."

It was hard to argue with that logic, so he didn't. "Middle name, then?"

Nibbling on her lower lip, she thought about it for a moment. "I always liked Alexander, but I thought it was too weird with Alexis."

Rick nodded, understanding her logic. "I've always liked the name James." He said pensively, catching the smile that crossed her face. "What?"

Kate glanced over at him. "James is my father's name," she told him softly. Rick had never met her father, so it was kind of funny how he pulled that name out. "I like it. Ethan James."

The baby kicked against his palm and he laughed softly. "Think that's the deciding vote," he murmured softly.

The duo settled into a comfortable silence and she closed her eyes, stifling a yawn. Suddenly, she was so very tired. "I think it's time for bed." Kate finally declared, moving to place her feet on the ground. "Not that I get that much sleep lately." She sighed, shaking her head. She pushed with her legs, but Rick was quickly at her side, helping her to her feet. She glared at him but said nothing as she moved toward the stairs and began ascending them.

"Castle," she sighed as she stopped and turned her head back at him. "You don't have to watch me, I'm fine."

"Any excuse to stare at your ass," he tossed back teasingly and she rolled her eyes, laughing as she moved up the stairs into her room.

"Goodnight, Rick!" She called once she was at the top of the stairs.

"Goodnight, Kate." He said quietly, staring at the empty stairs for a moment before he turned and walked into his own room.

* * *

**A/N:** Are you sick of me yet? These updates are coming so fast! I'm just really excited about this fanfic, haha. Thank you for everything again guys! I am so happy you're enjoying this ride with me.

Next up? Baby shower! ;)

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

"Kate," her name is elongated several decibels too long. Outside the bathroom door is Lanie, practically begging her to come out. It's not like she had anything to hide; her thirty-five week pregnant stomach left nothing to the imagination. However she, for once, would rather sit with Castle and listen to him talk about paint drying.

She knew that she was being slightly irrational. The moment Lanie had invaded her apartment earlier that day, she'd known something was fishy. She just didn't see Castle being on board with it. Certainly not considering his entertainment option for the day was Javier and Kevin, whom were still very Anti-Castle.

Or at least the last time she'd been notified they were. She hadn't seen much of her partners since going on maternity leave.

"Kate." Lanie pounded on the door. "I will break this door down." She warned, and Kate knew she would. Lanie was a woman who thrived on being true to her word. Unfortunately for her, Kate was currently in the process of trying to figure out if the window was located next to a fire escape.

Upon realizing that it was not, Kate knew she had no choice but to go out and face the music. But that didn't mean that she was necessarily going to like this event.

"Come on, honey. It's your _baby shower._" Lanie tried a different approach, which seemed to work from her end when Kate opened the door, looking no more dressed for the event than she was when she'd crawled in there. "A baby shower you cannot attend in a _Green Lantern_ shirt and boxers."

Kate blushed sheepishly as she glanced down at her clothes. As her pregnancy extended, she began to have a liking for Rick's clothes. She ended up doing the laundry most of the time, despite his warnings to get her to sit down and embrace the maternity leave and whenever she found something that she particularly liked – this time the article of choice being his _Green Lantern_ shirt – she'd steal it.

He didn't seem to mind.

Lanie grabbed her arm without explanation and tugged her toward her bedroom just down the hall. "You've got to have something better to wear than that." She decided and began to dig through her still half packed suitcase.

Kate waddled over to the bed, sitting on the edge and placing one hand behind her for support, the other laying over her bump. Ethan was moving around quite frequently as of late, more and more ready for his debut on earth. She laid down on her back, rubbing small circles in intervals on her stomach when Lanie's "Aha!" filled the air.

Lanie straightened up to see her friend laid across the bed. "It's only for a few hours," she told her as Kate groaned and struggled to sit up. She made it though, thankfully by herself. "Go put this on, we'll do something nice with your hair and then we're going to go have this shower." She grinned, leaning down to pat Kate's belly. "Don't worry, Ethan. Auntie Lanie ain't gonna let Mommy spoil our fun."

As she pulled back, she caught Kate's glare at her and shrugged before she helped her friend to her feet and watched her waddle toward the bathroom. "I hate you so much," Kate promised before she closed the door behind her. Lanie just tilted her head back and laughed loudly.

"Oh honey," she called back. "I know!"

* * *

The first one to arrive was Jenny, Ryan's wife. Lanie dragged her inside with a light tug and they both laughed as Kate moved down the stairs at the speed of a snail. "Oh Kate," Jenny said softly. "Shit, if I look half as good as you when I'm pregnant, then I'll die a happy woman."

Kate rolled her eyes at her, but accepted the gift and the hug from the woman. Her friendship with Jenny at first had been circumstantial, but she was glad that it had evolved to more. "Thank you for coming. I'm sure Lanie called you up and dragged you here too."

"Uh uh." She responded softly. "This one came willingly, unlike some people I know."

The three of them shared a laugh as Kate's stomach rumbled. "Please tell me there's food," she looked between them. "Because Momma's hungry."

After the three of them were settled down, Kate dug into the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies that Jenny had brought, falling more and more in love with the flavor with each bite. Carly showed up during her third cookie and made a face at any and all food that was offered her way.

"I'm on a diet," she explained, rubbing her hand over her flat stomach. "Duke and I are going to spend next summer in the French Rivera." She grinned at the three women. Kate fought the urge to roll her eyes.

It wasn't as though she and Carly had ever been at war with each other. At one point in time she, Carly and Maddie were the inseparable trio. However, once it came time for college, Kate and Maddie were more interested in finishing a degree whereas Carly was more interested in becoming someone's mistress. Hence Duke Farnsworth, the man who'd left his wife and family behind to take Carly anywhere her heart desired. Kate knew it wouldn't last.

Maddie showed up late, of course, but practically jumped on the food and Kate simultaneously. Since finding out she was pregnant, Maddie had made a few appearances in her life but they mostly kept up with each other through texting. Maddie had ultimately decided to have a career in business, which worked out in her favor considering the lavish restaurant she ran.

"So, Becks." Carly started after the impromptu games were over and the women were all settled down once more. "You've got yourself quite the life here." She murmured appreciatively as she glanced around Castle's loft. "It must be good to be Richard Castle's Baby Momma."

The accusation flew off her tongue like venom and Kate took a moment to collect herself. Carly was always very outspoken and often times her words were sharp and meaningless, but she pushed them to hit a nerve, or at least hopefully. Kate's hormones were all over the place, but she doubted that she could get away with murder due to them.

"It's not like that between Castle and me," Kate told her softly, grimacing as Ethan's obsession with her ribs began again. A soft kick made her breath escape rapidly and she sighed, patting the area lightly. "Feet down, baby."

"It never is!" Carly said after a moment, eyes wide and hands alive as she gestured around toward Kate. "You had that Doctor eating out of your god damn hands and you just dropped him like it was nothing." The woman shook her head, leaning back into her seat.

Kate fought the urge to chuckle; not only was _Carly_ the one saying these things to her, the woman the prided herself on ruining marriages, but she was totally off base with her comments. Though, she had to admit, they began to get to her quickly.

"And now Rick Castle moves you into his home and he's playing house with you and all you can think is 'oh it's not like that'." She rolled her eyes. "You're leading the poor guy on and you can't even stop and see that it's wrong because you've always been that way, Becks."

Kate felt her stomach twist as she pondered Carly's words. Was she leading Castle on? She'd made her intentions very clear to him at the beginning of the pregnancy but all the touching and the hand holding... Was it giving him the wrong impression? "I need to..." she trailed off abruptly and stood, moving toward the downstairs bathroom.

When Kate was out of sight, she let out a choking sob as she struggled with the door. It only took a couple of tries to open but as soon as she moved her way inside, she locked the door and sat down on the toilet. She let out a strangled cry as she buried her face in her hands, the reality of her situation crumbling down on her.

Kate wasn't cut out to be the housewife with a white picket fence and a loving husband. She wasn't cut out to be a mother either. She couldn't do this.

Her breathing became laboured as she thought about it more, and the more she thought the more she became panicked. "Shit," she breathed, her child seeming to sense her discomfort and began rolling around inside of her fitfully. Tears streaked her cheeks and she was so consumed in her own thoughts that she barely heard the knock on the door.

"Becks," it was Maddie. "Open up."

Kate was in no mood to be given a lecture about Carly's lack of tact and how she should just give her a reprieve. She choked out another breath and clutched her stomach, trying to keep calm. Stress wasn't going for her or the baby.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, open the damn door." Maddie's voice cut through her thoughts again. "Or so help me God."

With a sigh, Kate pushed her feet flat on the ground and stood with a hand against her back and one on the bathroom counter. In four strides, she moved and unlocked the door before she moved back away from the door. "It's open." She said, kneading her palm into her lower back. Just as she heard the door open and shut behind her, she moved and sat down on the toilet again. Her head was spinning, though she couldn't tell if it were the lack of oxygen she was receiving or if it were the swirling thoughts.

"Becks," she sighed softly, sitting down on the edge of the tub. She placed a hand on her back, rubbing gently. "Deep breaths."

Kate nodded, trying to get out the mild panic attack she was having. Another couple of short breaths later, she closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, inhaling just as slowly. Maddie's palm didn't move from her back until she knew her friend was calm again. "Thank you," Kate murmured softly.

"Carly's gone." Maddie told her and Kate nodded her head. "Told her to adios back to the French Riviera where she belonged."

Kate had a laugh at that one and shook her head slowly. "Why were we ever friends with her?" She asked softly. "She's such a bitch."

Maddie took a moment, acting as though she needed to deliberate her question before she simply shrugged and muttered, "We all make mistakes."

They settled in a less than comfortable silence. Kate's mind still rolled with Carly's accusations while Maddie watched her carefully, as though she were a time bomb ten seconds from exploding.

"What bothered you the most about what she said?" The blonde asked after a long period of silence, causing Kate to step out of her thoughts once more. She nibbled against her lower lip harder. "Cause I know you, Becks. There's a storm brewing in your mind."

"It wasn't what she said," she confessed, lifting her eyes to meet Maddie's. "It was where it led my mind." She sighed and lifted the hand not resting on her belly to her face. "Am I leading him on, Maddie?" She asked quietly.

"How do you feel about Rick?" She asked instead.

Kate instantly shook her head. "Oh," she said, her breath coming out like a sigh. "Oh Maddie, I have no idea."

Maddie nodded her head slowly. "Maybe that's something you should figure out then." She supplied, ignoring Kate's apprehensive glare at her. "Look, I'm not telling you to do it tomorrow. You two have something way more important to think about right now." Her hand moved to gesture toward where Ethan grew. "I'm just saying that maybe you should stop and think about how you really feel about him before you let anyone else interfere with that."

Taking careful consideration to listen to what her friend told her, she nodded slowly. She was in no rush to figure it out, whether it be good or bad. All she knew was that she felt comfortable with him, and he made her happy. She'd worry about the in between later. "When did you get so damn smart?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at her friend.

"Damn, I dunno." Maddie shrugged. "Suppose I picked something up during college." She added, and the two women shared a laugh. "Now let's clean you up and go unwrap presents. I got something for my nephew that you're going to die over."

Once Beckett stood, she wrapped her arms the best she could around Maddie. "Thank you," she whispered again.

"Anytime, Becks." She said as they pulled away. "Someone's gotta keep you grounded, after all."

* * *

Though the event hadn't gone down as nicely as she would have liked, she thanked Lanie profusely as she and Jenny helped her clean up. Maddie had had to leave, but promised to come see her 'nephew' as she amorously dubbed him after he was born.

She'd also reminded her to think about what they'd talked about, but a quick glare at Lanie and Jenny stopped them from asking about that.

After her friends evacuated and the house was put back in order, she changed from the airy fall dress she'd been wearing into something more comfortable and sat down on the couch, listening to the TV.

She hadn't even been aware that she'd fallen asleep until she felt a soft hand on her shoulder shaking her awake. "Katherine, dear." She heard as she opened her eye toward Martha. "If you're tired, you should rest somewhere more comfortable."

Rubbing the ball of her hand against her eye, she shook her head. "I'm good." She said softly, moving to sit up. She yawned softly and stretched outward as the matriarch of the family moved to sit down beside her. "Where were you today?" She asked politely, gazing over at the woman. "I mean, you missed the disaster it turned out to be, but I would have thought Lanie would have extended an invitation."

"She did." Martha nodded her head, leaving Kate slightly confused. "I just didn't know if the invitation was extended from her or from you."

"From both of us," Kate said quickly. "Martha, he's your grandson. I want you to be just as involved as Rick and Alexis are."

For a moment, Kate wondered how she hadn't picked up on the distance between herself and Martha. She felt horrible when she realized that she had unintentionally left her out of things, or at least given Rick's mother the impression she wasn't allowed to be involved in them.

"I didn't want to impose, darling." Martha told her with a swing of her wrist. "Also, between you and me, I always hated those events. When I was pregnant with Richard, a couple of my girlfriends threw something together for me and I found toward the end of it, I was wishing I could have a shot of whiskey to help me forget all of it."

Kate grimaced at the image, nodding her head as she thought of her own. "That bad?"

Martha nodded shortly. "Richard's conception was nothing short of a controversy and my mother had no problem telling me that constantly. Unfortunately, that meant she was also very against me raising him as my own." She shook her head. "She came around eventually, but not before she successfully ruined my baby shower."

Turning her head away from Martha, her gaze fell to her stomach and her teeth sunk into her lower lip. While Martha's mother had been against her daughter's wishes, she knew that Johanna wouldn't have been in the same boat. Her mother was constantly supportive, even going as far as driving her to the poetry slam that she went to instead of her prom. Tears welled in her eyes the more she thought about her mother, and how she'd never get to meet her grandson.

"Katherine, dear?" Martha asked softly, placing her hand on the woman's arm. "Did I say something to upset you?"

"Oh," Kate shook her head, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "No, Martha. I was just thinking about my Mom." A sad smile crossed her face. "She would have loved to be involved with all of this… she probably would have been more excited than I am."

Sensing she was treading on dangerous waters, Martha took a moment before asking. "Is your mother in another state, dear?"

Kate chuckled sadly, shaking her head. "I guess that's one way to say it." She paused for a moment. "My mother passed away almost six years ago."

* * *

After her conversation with Martha, she was left feeling tired and needed relaxation. A quick call to her doctor to approve a bath later, she sunk into the depths and moaned quietly.

She wasn't sure how long she was in there before the bathroom door opened. She opened an eye lazily to see Rick, hand over his eyes. A chuckle pushed through her lips as she leaned her head against the lip of the tub. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't know you'd be in here."

In his defense, she had taken over his bathroom. It had the best bath in it. "Don't be," she shifted, picking up a handful of bubbles and blowing it in his direction. "It ain't nothing you haven't seen before." She added, clasping her hands over the top of her stomach. Though he seemed reluctant to do it, he dropped his hand and glanced up at her as she tilted her head. "Come and sit down. Talk with me." She said as she sunk further into the water.

Rick took a moment to consider her words before he moved, shutting the lid of the toilet down and planting himself on top of it. "How was your day?" He asked softly, politely.

Kate yawned softly, laughing to herself as a fake smile pulled on her lips. "Disastrous." She confessed after a moment. "I mean, at first. One of my old high school friends pranced in with her fantastic life and tried to damper everyone else's." With a roll of her eyes, Kate slid up against the tub to catch his eye. "Think she wanted to try you out." She murmured before she closed her eyes.

For a moment, he said nothing and Kate reopened her eyes to glance up at him, ensuring he hadn't left. "I don't have eyes for anyone else," he told her and for a moment, she could have sworn she felt her heart swell underneath her breast. Her cheeks burned red and she dipped down into the water again.

At the end of her bath, he helped her out, wrapping her in a fluffy white towel. He turned to leave, allowing her a moment to dry off. "Castle?" She asked, causing him to turn in her direction. "Thank you."

He nodded, sharing a smile with her before he disappeared back into his bedroom.

* * *

After drying and redressing, Kate moved to her room and fell into a light sleep. Though the long day had extended far past what she usually stayed up, it only took a few hours for her to wake up again to the feeling of her son rolling inside of her. As her pregnancy progressed, the more restless the babe inside her womb became.

She rolled to a sitting position in bed and stuffed her feet numbly into her slippers. A quick glance at the time told her all she needed to know about another restless night. Four thirty in the morning wasn't bad, she supposed, not considering the fact that she'd been sleeping straight since about ten, but alas.

She pushed forward, hoping a short walk would calm Ethan enough so she could sleep. The walk through the hall did nothing and shortly, she was in front of the room her son would call his own.

Though Castle had promised to show her the room the week prior, she'd yet to move inside it. She turned the doorknob quietly and moved inside, flicking the light switch once the door was closed behind her. What she saw took her breath away.

He'd told her that he'd set up the room for their son months before, but she hadn't been aware of how much it truly was set up. His closet was ajar, though as she moved forward she could see the lining of clothes, many of the items included were some of the items she'd received that day. In the adjacent corner there was a rocking chair and close to that, a change table-dresser duo in a gorgeous cherry finish. She turned around to the opposite side of the room, where a collection of letters had been aligned against the wall and spelled out _Ethan_. There were various picture frames across the room, untouched as well as the presence of baby animals across the walls.

But that wasn't what caught her eye. Rather, it was the crib that sat in the middle of the wall on the other side of the room. Much like the other piece of furniture in the room, the cherry finish was beautiful.

Kate collapsed into the rocking chair, a hand on either side of her bump as she took it all in. The room was absolutely gorgeous, more than she could have ever imagined. Richard Castle had taken her breath away.

Ethan nudged against her stomach and she smiled softly. "I like it too, baby." She said, completely enthralled with the room.

"You know, baby." She said after a moment. "When I first found out about you, I was so scared to tell your Daddy." Kate paused as she began to rock slowly. "But I think I was wrong about him. He's such a wonderful man, baby."

Despite her initial reaction to Rick, he'd done nothing but continue to surprise her. He was so different from the man that she had met the night of Ethan's conception. However, the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that he had two very distinct sides: the man that the media saw and the family man that had accepted her into his life.

With a soft sigh, her fingertips swept over the area where her son continued to nudge her. "I think I like him a little more than I should." She confessed softly, her teeth sinking into her lower lip.

* * *

A/N: And here's chapter 8! This would have been up earlier, but unfortunately I lost my power last night and had no means of writing it up. Most of this chapter was written on my ipod, actually. Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and reviewing! I love reading your thoughts. :)

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

* * *

Week thirty-seven was when the brute of her cravings hit. With barely a month to go, if she were lucky, she'd begun eating the Castle's out of house and home in a mild attempt to quell a certain other craving she was having that she couldn't quite take care of herself anymore.

Luckily no one picked up on the obsessive amount of food she'd been eating, or how every time they turned around she was shoving something else in her mouth in place of what she really wanted there. Or, they did and they feared the wrath they would endure.

Kate sighed, slightly frustrated with herself and the thoughts that continuously ran through her mind. She'd gone through half a dozen pairs of underwear in the last two days due to her new habit and there was only so much longer that she could hang on before she either seduced Rick or climbed on the next willing participant.

Thirty seven weeks she'd gone and she couldn't handle one god damn second more. She felt suddenly like she was a teenager, except her libido then had been far less significant than it was now.

The first time she noticed it, they were having a family dinner. Castle had worn plaid that day and for some reason that increased the sexual appetite she had, because the only thing she could think about the entire dinner was how she wanted to rip the red plaid shirt off of him right then and there.

The only reason she hadn't was because her father was there and as supportive as he was, she somehow doubted the support would stick after she defiled Rick in front of his nine year old daughter.

Other than feasting upon Castle with her eyes, the dinner had gone well. She was quite impressed with her father's attitude toward Rick, despite the fact that he had no real reason to be nice to him. She assumed that more for her benefit than his. With that being said, she was genuinely curious what words had been shared between them both when Jim had joined him out on the balcony. Whatever it was, Castle had come in resembling a scolded child.

It had amused her at first, but she'd tried very hard not to show it. Especially when he slithered in beside her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. For the eighth time that night, she wished they were alone so she could climb him like a tree.

Alas, four days later, she was still in the same state she'd been.

She'd tried everything – porn, thinking about family members in their underpants, anything that would quell it. Most of the options, especially the one about her family members, did work and then she'd see Rick again and it was like she'd never done anything at all.

It had to be frigging lethal to be this damn attracted to a man.

Sitting on the couch in the living room, Ethan was quiet for once. It was mid-afternoon, which meant he was ensuring that his sleeping schedule would rival hers, and there was absolutely nothing on. She'd scrolled through Netflix twice before settling on the least attractive show she could think about, _The Vampire Diaries_. Unfortunately, about twenty minutes into the first episode she found herself attracted to the male lead and shut it off without another word.

She tried news reports and parody shows but every now and again her mind would slip to her ruggedly handsome Baby Daddy and all the progress she made would be null and void. By the time Castle got home from a meeting about the newest _Derek Storm_ novel, she was ready to crawl out of her skin.

Rick moved to sit down beside her, not at all sensing that she was literally ten seconds away from exploding in on herself. If he did notice, he didn't say anything and she was partially glad for that. "What are you watching?" He asked, staring at the Netflix home screen.

Kate shook her head. "Nothing," she shrugged softly, wrinkling her nose. "I couldn't find anything… good to watch."

The silence set in between them again and she let out an agitated groan that he just barely heard through his game of angry birds. Each time a bird fell, she began a little closer to ripping his dick off and using it for her own pleasure.

Without a second thought, Kate dragged her legs in under her and rolled onto her knees, hovering over him. He didn't glance up so she grabbed his phone, shutting it off and tossing it on the coffee table. He looked up, ready to argue with her when she blurted, "I need you to have sex with me."

"Um, Kate." He said, moving to face her. She fell back a little, her ass hitting the backs of her heels as she knelt before him. "Not that I'm flattered… but isn't it a little weird?"

Her eyes flashed with anger which in turn caused him to contemplate his last moments on earth. He supposed dying at the hand of his pregnant whatever-she-was wasn't quite the situation he'd imagined, but it seemed as though that was the way he was going to go.

"Weird?" She asked, placing her hands on his thighs. She stared right into his eyes. "Castle, I am horny. And not just regular ol', I can take care of this myself horny because," she paused and gestured to her stomach. "I can't reach to take care of myself anymore." His eyes darted between her stomach and the heated gaze she was giving him. "You wanna know why I'm horny?" She asked, reaching a hand up to cup his jaw. He stared deep into her hazel hues, unable to form a sentence. "Because I'm pregnant and I'm sure you remember quite clearly how that happened." She dragged her head closer, her lips dragging dangerously close to him. "So really, you're just doing community service for a crime you committed."

"I didn't hear you complaining while it was happening." He shot back, lifting his hand to graze the side of her neck.

Kate rolled her eyes and moved closer to him, their lips grazing. "Shut up and kiss me." She said quietly before roughly placing her lips against his. To her surprise, he responded back immediately, hands winding their way into her hair. She made quick work of the shirt she was wearing, tossing it somewhere behind her while his lips moved to her neck.

Her lips parted as his moved to her collarbone, pressing wild and uneven kisses wherever his lips would land. She raked her fingers through his hair and arched her chest toward him. His hands moved, beginning to caress her back, fingertips dipping to graze the rim of the boxers she was wearing.

Impatience wore over pleasure and she reached between them, beginning to make quick work of the jeans he was wearing. He stilled underneath her movements and began to pull away as she tugged harder against the zipper in an attempt to rid him of it.

Rick moved his lips back to her neck, kissing a line to her ear. "We should move this somewhere more... private." He murmured into the shell of her ear. "You know, just in case."

Registering what he meant a moment later, Kate pulled back and leaned back on her legs. "Oh," she gasped softly. In her haste to successfully get her fill, she'd completely forgotten the all too unforgiving location of her attack. "Okay." She added quickly, holding her hand out toward him. "You're going to need to help me up."

The laugh they shared between them disappeared the moment they were inside his bedroom. Kate removed the rest of her clothes, mirroring her actions as she tugged against his pants. He covered her hand with his, their eyes meeting for a quick moment before she captured his lips again.

The rest of his clothes fell in a neat pile on the ground below him. He stepped out of them, dragging his feet out of his socks. Placing a hand at each of her sides, he gently pushed her back to his bed. Kate stepped back slowly, engulfing in the taste of his tongue. When he broke apart from her again, she let out a soft whimper that caused a laugh to spurt from his lips. "Need to make it more comfortable," he whispered softly as he helped her onto his bed. She tried to lay back but he caught her arm, keeping her up as best as was possible. "More comfortable." He repeated again, moving around the side of the bed to arrange pillows for her to lay back against.

Kate rolled on her side and he leaned down beside her, brushing their lips together slowly. His hands ran through her tangled locks and she dragged her tongue against her lower lip. His mouth parted some and she slid inside, their tongues tangling together. This moment, despite everything, was one of the most sensual experiences she'd ever had. He was so careful, so loving. It made her fall a little bit more in love with him and his soul.

When the need for oxygen became too much, she pushed his chest gently and leaned her forehead against his. "No waiting." She murmured softly. "Waited too long." She added a moment later, running her fingers through his short hair. "Behind me." She gestured to the area behind her back.

Rick pressed another kiss to her lips, the carefulness of his movements increasingly sensual with each movement. She dropped her hand from his face as he stepped off the bed and moved to lay behind her. He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck as he hooked an arm around her thigh and lifted it up slightly, draping it over his waist. Kate shifted impatiently under his movements, and gripped the sheets as she felt him drag the head of his cock against her entrance, a soft gasp escaping from her lips.

He teased for a few moments before he angled his hips against hers and slid inside her, stretching her inner muscles as he entered. The shallowness of his thrust titillated her even still and she moaned louder as he tested his boundaries, sliding in deeper and deeper until she gasped loudly from the uncomfortableness from his penetration set in. "You okay?" He asked as he stilled his movements. Kate took a couple of breaths before nodding her head.

A moment later, he began thrusting slowly. Kate arched against his chest, soft moans pushing through her lips. "Shit," she gasped, her fingers entangling in the sheets. When he stilled again, she reached back and smacked him the best she could. "Keep going," she gasped. "Feels good."

The utter fact that she hadn't had sex in months just made the experience that much better. With each movement of his hips, she moaned a little harder. Her muscles contracted around him and she slowly began to work her hips against his.

Rick tossed a hand over her thigh, hand rolling down the slight v of her thighs until his fingertips found the bundle of nerves located between her thighs. He rolled against it slowly, feeling her arch against his palm. She let a string of curse words as her peak began to come closer and dug her face into the pillow.

He kept a watchful eye on her as they moved, ensuring that nothing he did caused her pain. Kate groaned softly, her peak coming close with every swipe of his fingertips. He alternated between quick and slow, causing her to sharply thrust her hips against his.

"Rick," she panted, as he held her hips in place and rolled his fingers against her clit harder. "Close," she murmured softly, reaching behind her head to grasp at anything he could. Her fingers ended up twined in his hair as she fell apart around him. Her breath came in short, hard pants and she buried her face into the pillow underneath her head as a scream of pleasure and delight poured through her lips.

He gave her a few moments after she came to rest up, watching as her body relaxed into the pillows and her eyes flutter closed. "Wanna see you," she murmured tiredly. "Come around."

Sliding out of her, he was painfully aware of how hard he was and tried to calm it down as best as he could as he moved to lay down beside her. He cupped the side of her head and she lifted her head to press their lips together. When she fell asleep, he'd move to the bathroom and finish himself off. She reached in between them, cutting his thoughts off as she wrapped a sturdy hand around his cock and began to slowly work her hand up and down the length.

"Kate," he breathed softly, his lips falling from hers. "You don't have…"

"Want to." She murmured softly, lifting her head to press her lips against his again. His fingers wound through her hair once more as her hand began moving slightly faster, dragging her thumb across his head as his hips shot toward her hand.

Rick slid his hand down, wrapping it around hers as he tightened her grip, thrusting harder into her grip. There was something erotic about him taking charge and Kate let him, slipping her tongue inside of his mouth as his hips began to thrust wildly into her clasped hand.

She swallowed each one of his moans as he thrust, her free hand sliding through his hair. When he finally stilled and broke apart from her kiss, she dropped her lips to his jawline, peppering it with light kisses as his release spurted and covered the back of her hand.

He moved to clean her hand but she shook her head, trying to pull him down. "Sleep first, clean later." She said tiredly and closed her eyes. Rick stayed by her side until her breathing evened out and then he moved, taking a wash cloth to clean up after their mess and then draping a throw over her. Before he moved to the bathroom to clean himself up, he pressed a kiss against her forehead and quietly murmured, "I love you."

It was a good thing once she knocked out she was gone. He wasn't sure if he wanted a response back to that confession.

* * *

Rick wasn't sure how it happened, but the next night he wound up with Kate's feet in his lap, suddenly her personal masseuse. In the midst of rubbing her aching feet, he fed her strawberries and watched some chick flick with her.

When had he resigned his man card?

Kate rolled her ankle in his hands as he rubbed her foot and ankle. Her calf in particular was the area that had sustained the most damage from the swelling, but he couldn't go near that without it hurting. She let out soft moans with each knead he worked into her skin and muscle, leaning into the back of the couch. This was pure heaven.

Since yesterday when she'd pounced on him, he'd been extra loving. His undivided attention had been on her and her only, minus the few moments that Alexis broke through. She couldn't complain. He was being absolutely fantastic, and had been absolutely fantastic the day before.

As the ending credits of the movie popped up, she reached down and grabbed the remote off of her lap, filing through the movies. She'd already seen most of them a few times, though she didn't mind choosing them again. After a moment she settled on Father of the Bride II and clasped her hands over her stomach. Ethan was fairly quiet, moving only when he became restless. She was glad for that. On top of her aching feet, having a continuously restless baby was already becoming her most hated thing ever.

"Strawberry?" She asked softly, her eyes closing slowly. The massage was putting her to sleep due to the fact that it was also relaxing her quite nicely. Rick grabbed the stem of one with his fingertips and held it in her direction. She wrapped her mouth around it sensually and bit it off. Dropping the discards in another bowl, he moved back to her feet as she closed her eyes again. "Mm, sleepy." She yawned, stretching out.

"You wanna move upstairs?" He asked, stopping his movements. She whined and kicked her foot and he resumed them quickly.

Shaking her head, Kate yawned again. "Nope, I'm fine." She murmured.

She was out before the first act of the film.

* * *

"Ethan," Alexis' voice cut through the fog as Kate slowly awoke from her sleep. "It's only a short while until get here." The young girl added, and placed a hand on top of Kate's rounded belly. "I can't wait to meet you," she added quietly, like it was a secret that only see and her brother could know.

As Kate stumbled into reality, she opened one eye and then another, shifting her gaze to Alexis. A soft smile crossed her face as her hand moved to rub her belly gently. "Think baby might be sleeping," she said as she yawned, stretching out her legs some as she kicked them up onto the coffee table. Her calves had tripled in size since that morning and she sighed as she tilted her head back. "I am so uncomfortable." She groaned, speaking more to herself than to Alexis, though her attention wasn't divided as Kate spoke. "Where's your dad gone?" She asked.

"Shower." She said quickly. "I told him I'd stay here with you and Ethan." She leaned in a little closer. "He said it was a big girl job, and I know I'm a big girl."

Despite the fact that Alexis was only nine, she seemed to act as though she was nearing twenty, not ten. Her mind was so well advanced anyone she'd ever met at that age. Offering the child a smile, she opened her mouth to speak as a sharp pain hit her suddenly, effectively knocking the air out of her lungs.

"Is everything okay?" Alexis asked upon sensing the discomfort. "Should I go get Dad?" She asked a moment later, not allowing Kate a chance to explain to her what happened. "I'm going to go get Dad." She decided, jumping off the couch and onto the ground.

"Alexis," Kate called softly. "It's okay. Baby just kicked my ribs and it took my breath away."

The redhead took an extra moment to watch her from afar before she nodded, seeming to take in what she said as she moved to sit down beside her again. "Ethan," she said softly, a scolding undertone to her voice. "You have to be nicer to your mommy."

Though Kate often called herself mommy, it was always different hearing it from someone else. It kind of took her breath away. She really was going to be a mommy to someone, someone who would rely on her every step of the way.

It wasn't as though the incredible weight gain and cravings and back ache and swelling hadn't given her the slightest indication, but still. Hearing it out loud almost made it more real.

During here reverie, Rick moved back into the room, drying his hair with a white towel. "Everything going good?" He asked, looking between them. Kate nodded and Alexis joined, sharing a grin between them.

"Besides the need to pee, Momma's fine." She said, extending her hand in his direction. She ignored another sharp pain as it shot through her stomach, gritting her teeth slightly. "Help me up."

Rick scooted across the carpet and helped her to her feet, following behind her until she got to the bathroom and then he moved back. Tossing the towel into the hamper, he sat down beside Alexis. "Wanna watch a movie?" He asked.

"Frozen?!" Alexis asked immediately, and though he'd seen the movie enough to be able to reiterate the entire playwright and score, he nodded his head and she jumped off the couch to go to the DVD case.

Somewhere during her search, Kate moved back into the room. He hadn't even heard her soft footfalls on the carpet. "We may have to delay the movie," she said quietly, causing both of their heads to turn into her direction.

Rick frowned, narrowing his eyes in her direction. "And why would we have to do that?"

Taking a breath as another sharp pain danced across her stomach, Kate dug her fingers into the flesh, mentally recounting the minutes between what she assumed were contractions. Going on six minutes. "My water just broke and I think I'm having contractions." She rushed quickly, watching as Rick's eyes bulged out of his head.

* * *

**A/N**: Heh, you guys totally called it, didn't you? Whoopsie. Next chapter's gonna be a whole lot of unadulterated fun while Kate decides Rick needs a new haircut and then proceeds to attempt to rip his hair out during labor ;)

Thank you so much to everyone who is reviewing and following! I hope you're enjoying this fic as much as I am :)

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes.**

_**Two centimetres**_

"Shiit shit shit." She groaned as she curled forward, a hand pressed to either of her stomach. They'd only been there roughly two hours since her water had broken but in those two hours, Rick had heard more insults and curse words come out of her mouth than he'd ever thought possible in his entire life. He could only thank that she hadn't gotten physical yet. He was pretty sure he still had bruises from Alexis' birth. "I'm going to fucking kill you." She said as she glanced up, looking him dead in the eye. "Just you wait until they don't have me attached to monitors and shit, I swear to god, Castle."

He extended his hand toward her without a word and she wrapped her hand around it roughly, tugging it toward her as she began to scream again. At only two centimetres, they expected quite a large time period before she would be granted the epidural she'd begged for the moment she'd been instated. They'd tried to get her to go home at first, truthfully, but she'd shot them down fairly quick. He gritted his teeth as she squeezed through the contraction.

She fell back on the pillow a moment later, shifting uncomfortably as she made a face at him. "I hate you." She promised, rolling her hand over her stomach. She kept the grimace as she kept a watchful eye on him. "So much."

Rick nodded once more and squeezed his hand around hers. Kate just grumbled softly, turning away from him. "Have you called my Dad?" She asked softly, twisting her head back to see him. It was really hard to avoid his big stupid face if he was the only one there. "Lanie?"

The look that crossed his face told her all she needed to know and she gestured to the door, which caused his eyebrows to raise in her direction. Kate scoffed slightly as she rolled her eyes and smacked her head back against the pillow, rubbing her hand over her face.

"Dear Jesus," she said before she tipped her head back toward him. "Are you seriously that stupid? Go call him! Call Lanie, just get out of my face."

So, maybe she wasn't the nicest person on the planet when in labor, but he'd give her pardon. Without another word, he pushed himself out of his seat and moved toward the open door, hauling his phone out of his pocket on the way out. Kate settled back into the bed again, breathing through the pain.

Shit, if she knew labor was going to be this bad she would have optioned out of it a hell of a long time ago. Like about ten seconds before he came over and hit on her. She grumbled softly, closing her eyes in a mild attempt to sleep through the worst of the storm. However, when only moments later the nurse stumbled in, she gave up on the idea of sleep all together.

Rick moved into the room quietly after speaking on the phone with her father and Lanie, who both offered to spread the news among their friends. The nurse checking Kate over repeated her words from earlier, informing her that it was going to take a long time to build to a point where she could successfully deliver her son.

The look Kate gave her could have murdered thousands.

He passed by the woman, moving to sit down in the chair he'd pulled up by her bed. Kate gritted her teeth slowly, glancing over at him. "It's been two hours and still not a centimetre of progress." She told him, huffing softly. "She gave me this sympathy speech of "Oh, you should have known that the first always takes the longest" like… I don't want to hear that. I want you to tell me that you can give me dr-" she cut off her words as she suddenly lunged forward and grasped her stomach. He leaned forward and offered up his hand which she grabbed gladly and clenched it between her fingers.

If he didn't leave the hospital with a broken hand, it was going to be a god damn miracle.

"Shit," she whined softly, grimacing as the pain slowly washed over her. "How much longer do I have to do this?" She asked as she finally sunk back into the pillow. Rick moved and sat down beside her, taking the wash cloth from the side of the bed and wiping her sweaty forehead off. She batted his hand away from her face and closed her eyes, draping her arm over his arm. "I hate you." She reminded him softly.

"I know." He chuckled softly, placing the wash cloth to the side. She pulled back her arm to glare at him. "Just think, in a few short hours we'll have our son." He said, as though she wasn't quite aware that the several more hours of pain she was about to endure had a wonderful outcome. Her hand traced the expanse of her stomach as he spoke and he placed his hand over top of hers.

Kate closed her eyes again, yawning. "When's my Dad coming?"

"He said he'd come as soon as was possible." Rick responded softly. In his talk to him, he'd attempted to rush Jim to get there as soon as he could, knowing that Kate would have liked him to be there as much as possible. He just wasn't sure how long it would take him to show up.

Letting out a soft groan, she pulled the rough hospital sheet to cover her stomach and pointed to the wall. "Turn off the lights." She told him. "Wanna take a nap."

"I don't-" He started to say, but when she lifted her head and shot another glare in his direction, he was across the room without a point of hesitation. He shut the door for extra measure and closed the blinds and then settled back into chair.

Kate murmured appreciatively and curled into her pregnancy pillow the best she could, drifting off.

Rick glanced at her quietly and then lifted his phone up, pressing the _Angry Birds in Space_ app and beginning to play.

* * *

_**4 centimetres**_

"When can I get the drugs?" was the first thing out of her lips upon the news that she'd gone far enough in labor to receive it. The nurse had the gall to laugh at her, which only made her that much angrier at her. She already wanted to punch her face in for her indiscrete flirting with Rick once she learned that he was single. The laugh that came shortly after her question was the nail in the Big Tits' coffin.

"I'll get you an epidural as soon as is possible, I promise. Just have to do a few things and then I'll be right back." She was talking to her, but her eyes were all over Rick. Kate refused to hold back the urge to throw up and she gagged softly and rolled her eyes.

Rick smiled politely and nodded as she ducked back out in the hall. "I don't like her." Kate said and he turned his head to look down at her from where he stood. "Not a bit. Can you ask for another one?"

"Why don't you like her?" He asked, ignoring the second part of her question.

Kate just glared at him, leaning forward as the rolling pain of another contraction hit her. She gripped onto the handles on the hospital bed and breathed it out, choking softly. "Why don't I like her?" She asked mid contraction. She waited until it passed before she fell back into her bed. "She has big tits that she has no problem flashing in your face. For Christ sakes, if I weren't in the room, I'm sure she would have rode your lap."

Before he can answer her and deny the claims when they heard a tap on the door. He lifted his head to see the withered face of Jim Beckett. Kate's face instantly softened and she reached out for him. "Dad!" She said as he moved forward at her beckon. She wrapped her arms the best she could around his middle when he was close enough and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, gently wrapping her in his arms.

"How are you doing?" He asked softly, rubbing her back. She pulled back after a moment, leaning into the pillows as she reached and grabbed his hand in hers.

"I'm alright." She said with a sigh, rubbing her stomach. If her count was right, she had about four minutes until the next one rolled through. "I'm going to kill the next person who tells me I can't have drugs, though." She paused. "Or tells me that I can and then spends the next hour prancing around like she's a cheerleader."

He chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "I'll stand out in the hall and ask every passing nurse if they've got an update on that epidural if you want me to."

Though he was joking, her eyes lit up at the idea. "Would you?"

* * *

_**6 centimetres**_

"Over halfway there!" The doctor cheered, but the enthusiasm wasn't accepted by either of the soon-to-be parents. He quickly straightened up and looked between them. Going on hour twenty two of labor, she still had four whole centimetres to go before baby. "I'll check back within an hour to see how you're progressing." He nodded a head toward both of them and disappeared into the hallway.

Kate groaned as she leaned back into the pillow again, staring at Castle. "Shit." She whined, rubbing her belly. "Why doesn't he want to come out faster?" She pouted, her lower lip trembling slowly.

In the past twenty two hours, Rick had seen plenty of emotions from her, and learned somewhat how to navigate them. He perched himself on the side of the bed and wiped the tears as they surfaced. "Shh, Kate." He whispered softly, cupping her cheek. "This isn't a personal thing, sweetheart. You gotta remember that."

"I don't 'gotta' remember anything." She tossed back at him quickly. "I'm hungry." She whined softly, reaching for the cup of ice cubes that he'd gotten for her an hour earlier. It was mostly empty, and the ones that were still left in there were melted. "Go get me more." She said once she realized this, shoving the cup in his direction.

Without arguing with her, he got up and moved toward the door, running to Jim in the hallway. "How's she doing?" Her father asked, eying the doorway that lead to his daughter's room.

"She's… fairing." Rick explained the best he could, running his hand over his face. The lack of sleep had gotten to them both and if their son wasn't born soon, he feared that Kate would either a) murder him or b) try pushing prematurely so she could get it over with. He knew she was so uncomfortable; she had been for months now. This was just the tail end of it. "Six centimetres now. He doesn't think it will be too much longer, but then again, he said it could extend to another six to eight hours considering her progress."

Sharing a grimace with the younger man, he nodded his head. "I called in sick to work today, so I'll be here until the baby is born. Assuming it's born today." He joked and watched as Rick pulled a face. Nothing short of pure terror crossed his features. "He will be born today, Mr. Castle." He told him with a nod. "You better go get a refill of those chips before she gets impatient. My Katie hasn't had patience since the day she was born."

Offering a soft smile in his direction, he nodded and moved toward the end of the hall, twisting around to where the station was. Jim advanced toward the door, stepping inside. Kate's head whipped toward the sound, a softness contorting her features. "Daddy," she said softly, resembling a small child.

It still took his breath away at how she was an adult sometimes; never mind an adult that was about to give birth to her own child. He walked to her side, holding out his hand. She grabbed it carefully and he cupped the back of her head, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "You're doing great, Katie." He told her softly and she shook her head against the pillows but didn't argue any further.

* * *

_**8 centimetres**_

"Not too long now, promise." The nurse's words weren't satisfying in the slightest, but she took them in with a grain of salt. At twenty six hours of labor, being told that she was going to give birth soon was just laughable nonsense.

Lanie had arrived not too long before, Javier at her heels. She assumed Castle had called her once she hit seven centimetres but she couldn't care less. She'd been relieved when she'd seen her friend.

"Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?" Her nurse asked again, glancing over at Rick from the corner of her eyes.

Kate scowled at the nurse and shook her head. "Let my friends back in and leave." She asked as politely as she could, nudging Rick with her knee a little harder than she intended but somehow the sound of him in pain gave her great pleasure.

A few moments after everyone's favorite slutty nurse moved out, Lanie and Javier moved in. Lanie rushed to her side, wrapping her friend in a half hug. "Oh, honey, you look horrible." She told her as she pulled away.

Shooting an "I told you so" look at Rick, she turned her head back to Lanie. "I've been in labor for a day, Lanie, you're going to have to forgive me for the lack of makeup and fancy clothes." She drawled sarcastically, patting her belly as she felt Ethan nudge her belly. His feet and knees seemed to be up toward her ribs, so she took that as a good sign.

Lanie rolled her eyes and grabbed the railing on the side. "I wasn't expecting that." She told her. "So how much longer do we have to wait?"

"Oh, 'not too long now' big tits said." She rolled her eyes, turning her head over to Castle. "I bet you liked that, though. She was practically undressing you with her eyes."

"I didn't notice," he said quietly, shrugging as he continued to play his game. She nudged his leg again and rolled her eyes again.

"Don't lie to me. I'm not blind." She turned her attention back to Lanie, sighing softly. "Men."

Lanie reached and grabbed Kate's hand in hers, squeezing softly. "You getting excited?" She asked, deciding to change the subject. When her friends grin split her cheeks, she mirrored the movement and grinned just as wide.

"I'm ready to meet him." She said softly, nodding her head. Without much consent, she could feel the edges of her lips pull wider. Yeah, the last day and a bit had been nothing short of terrible, but in a few hours – give or take – she'd have her son. That made everything exceptionally better.

* * *

_**10 centimetres**_

"We see a head!" She heard, though she couldn't tell where it was coming from. On one side, Castle was washing her head of sweat while on the other side, Lanie stood, ever the birthing coach. "Okay, Kate. On the next contraction, I'm going to need you to push really hard."

She groaned, counting down in her head. She was pushing _really_ hard. Any harder and she'd be tearing herself in two. As the beginning of a contraction surfaced, she took a deep breath and buried in her chin into her chest, beginning to push again.

She heard words of encouragement all around her, but nothing stuck enough to keep her going. In her ear, she could hear Rick's voice count up to ten. When he got there, she collapsed back on the pillows as she heard the Doctor rustle beneath her. She closed her eyes, breathing heavily as she waited for the next contraction to come.

"Head is out. He's got a headful of hair!" He told her and she laughed softly, remembering the constant indigestion and heartburn she'd gotten. Though she was pretty sure that little fact Lanie had told her was a myth, it did make an incredible amount of sense. "All that's left is the shoulders and then we're home free. Next contraction, work with me!"

She was about to work her first through his face.

Before she could say another word, she felt the first sharp wave wash through her and she took a deep breath, beginning to push through it. She felt Rick's hand on her back, rubbing slow circles and counting down from ten. "I hate you so fucking much!" She said as she squeezed his hand in between hers harder. "I'm going to kill you, I swear to God."

She could have sworn she heard Lanie laugh at her side, but she was too focused on the ten count coming finally to the zero. She fell against Rick, breathing heavily. For a moment, she could feel the occupancy of her child and then, as fast that, he was gone and screaming into the world. She couldn't control the tears that suddenly sprang and she reached for her child quietly.

After the umbilical cord was cut, he was laid on her chest, his cries filling the room with life. "Hi," she whispered as she gazed down into his eyes. He peaked out at her and she cried harder. "Hi baby."

* * *

Curled on the hospital bed, Rick's arm was slung around her back while they stared down at their son. Kate knew she was biased but he was the most beautiful little boy she'd ever seen. He clung onto her finger tightly while he slept and she fell more and more in love with him with each breath he took.

Rick moved his hand up to tug back the blanket wrapped around him a little, in as much awe as Kate was. He could distinctly see Kate in their son, and that warmed his heart a little. He just stared at Ethan as he slept quietly, curled up against his mother's bosom.

"You did great," he told her softly and she looked up at him. "I think this is the most beautiful version of you I've known yet."

Subconsciously, she lifted her hand up and ran her fingers through her messy hair. She didn't have a lick of makeup on and she smelled like sweat. "You're silly." She shook her head slowly. "I think this is the worst I've looked since I got into a car accident when I was sixteen."

Rick shook his head too, and adjusted slightly so he could catch her eye. "No, I mean it." He told her softly. "You've always been beautiful, but you are so much more than that now."

Kate blushed and ducked her head to watch her son again, brushing her fingertip over his cheek gently. Rick leaned in and pressed a gently kiss against her temple. She leaned into the kiss, sighing softly once he pulled away.

"I don't want to put him down ever." She laughed softly, turning to glance up at Rick and then dropping her head again. "He's perfect."

He nodded silently, staring too down at the life they'd created. He smiled down at the infant and she cupped his cheek, taking him off guard when she guided their lips together. He leaned a little closer into their kiss and only pulled away when she did. She offered him a soft smile and dipped her hand back down to Ethan as he began to fuss slightly.

While she tended to him, he started to think more about the relationship they'd built in the last seven months. He knew how he felt about her, was surer about that than he'd ever been about anything in his life. However, he couldn't expect that she would feel the same about him. The crippling truth was that he'd fallen in love with her before she was the mother of his child and she'd only ever love him as the father of hers.

He leaned his head against hers as the babe shushed and curled more toward his mother, and for a moment he wished he could stay in that moment forever.

* * *

**A/N**: And guess who has finally made an appearance! I know, I know, I was looking forward to writing this chapter from the moment I planned this story out. Castle and Beckett are getting closer- wee! Next chapter skips ahead a month to Momma's birthday. And for those of you who are wondering, Ethan's birthdate is October 4th. She would have been due on October 25th so the newest Castle wasn't too far off his due date!

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and followed. I love you all!

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes**

* * *

On the eve of her twenty-fifth birthday, he found her in her room, Ethan asleep in his bassinet next to her. She was pouring over pages and pages of a journal that she promptly shut when she realized he was in her room. The only light that illuminated the room, other than the moonlight, was a small booklight that lit her features somewhat. She tilted her head in his direction and though she didn't ask it, he found himself answering her question. "My night." He said, gesturing toward Ethan.

She wanted to argue with him, to tell him that she was fine with him. Rick had watched Ethan three days in a row last week when she'd come down with the flu and she knew eventually she would have to pick it up. However, before she could argue with him, he rounded the side of her bed and lifted the small child into his arms. Ethan looked so much smaller in his father's large arms and she smiled softly as she saw him begin to shift to the new position.

Kate stood and moved, pressing a kiss to the top of the babe's head as he adjusted finally and opened his eyes to pierce through the darkness. His short and soft brown curls and blue eyes warmed her eyes every time he stared up at her. "Goodnight, baby." She whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. It never got easier, pinning her son between these two worlds. Even though they were in the same home, it was like they were worlds away.

She shook her head of those thoughts and moved to sit back down on the side of her bed, fingering her watch off.

"Kate?" He asked as he moved to leave. She lifted her head in his direction, fingering over the embedded lettering on the front of the book. "Happy Birthday." He told her quietly and she offered him a slight smile. "You know, just in case Cosmo and I sleep through it."

Her eyes contorted into a nasty glare that he shied away from almost immediately. "Rick." She glowered, burning a hole into the side of his downturned head. "Stop calling him Cosmo. He's going to have personality issues."

"You call him 'baby', though." He shot back quickly, though he cowered under the still-heated glare she was giving him. "Okay, fine." He sighed, defeated. "No more Cosmo."

"Thank you." She told him softly. "For everything."

Smiling appreciatively in his direction, she leaned back in the pillows as she watched the two of them leave, a sad sigh rolling through her. She watched until he shut the door behind him and then opened up the book again, staring down at a portrait of her mother that she'd been hoarding forever. Though Johanna Beckett's murder had an end, it never made it easier. Each Christmas, Easter, Birthday… it got a little harder to navigate through.

Twisting her head, she saw the clock turn to twelve and covered her hand over her face. "Happy Birthday to me," she said into the darkness.

* * *

When she awoke the next day, the sun pierced through the window and she let out a soft groan, instinctively reaching for Ethan. When he wasn't there, she felt slightly panicked for a split second before she remembered where he was and who's taken him. Running a hand over her face, she slipped out of bed and began to get ready for the day.

It was her birthday, after all. New mom or not, she supposed she earned the right to look good.

After a shower, she dried and brushed her hair, leaving it in natural waves. She applied a thin coat of foundation and eye shadow, curled her eyelashes and applied a pale pink gloss to her lips. After dressing, she moved down the stairs to see Castle navigating through the kitchen with a mission. Ethan was tucked into the corner of his arm, staring out at the world.

Rick startled somewhat as he heard her move up behind him, pressing a palm flat against his chest as he realized it was her. "Hey," he breathed heavily, shaking his head somewhat. "I'm going to need to get you a bell."

"Buy me one and I'll shove it somewhere inexplicably located on your body." She promised as she reached out and took Ethan from his arms, laying him against her chest. He squirmed at the change, but settled down quickly, his mouth moving eagerly "Ah," she commented with a nod. "Someone's hungry."

Rick looked sheepish and he nodded his head. "I was trying to look for the bottle warmer but I couldn't find it anywhere. So I decided I'd boil some water and then I couldn't find a clean pot and well, then you came downstairs."

Kate laughed quietly to herself, moving out of the kitchen and toward the couch. Once she was seated comfortably, she unbuttoned her blouse and the nursing bra. She placed a hand underneath his head and helped him locate her breast until he latched and she sighed softly, brushing her thumb over the back of his head. "Castle," she murmured quietly. "Can you grab me a blanket to cover up?"

He walked around quickly, offering her one of the many baby sized throws that had located their way around his living room. He would have to clean up eventually, but unfortunately every time he got a chance to do that, Ethan was distracting them both. He settled down beside her, gently helping her cover up. He knew she was only doing it for courtesy, considering his mother and Alexis were home.

She continued to rub the back of his head, settled back into the couch and smiled down at him. "Did you keep Daddy up all night like you promised?" She asked teasingly, watching as Ethan's eyes moved shut while he suckled.

At her side, Rick rose an eyebrow at her. "You promised what?"

"Confidential mother-son conversation, mister." She teased back, her tongue pressing between her teeth as she grinned at him. The grin she gave him was almost impossible to not grin back at. She was magnificent. "How was he last night, though?"

He moved his hand over to drag it across their son's cheek. "He was good. Only woke up at four for a bottle. Which is when I mysteriously lost the bottle warmer. I'm thinking it's somewhere amongst my sheets."

As he finished, Kate lifted Ethan away and handed him to Rick as she began to redo the bra, rearranging the nursing pad against her breast. Rick grabbed the blanket and tossed it over his shoulder, laying Ethan there as he began to try and help him burp.

Just as Kate finished with her blouse, the baby let out a loud one that made her gasp and turn her head toward him. "Oh, wow." She told him, grinning. "That was a good one, baby." She said and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Rick beamed with excitement as he adjusted Ethan in his arms. It was only then that she took in what her son was wearing and she began to laugh softly. He turned his head over at her and caught the teasing look she was giving him, his face contorting with question.

"Really, Castle?" She asked, placing her hand on her baby's tummy. "A TARDIS onesie?"

* * *

That night, Castle made her dinner and the four of them, Alexis included, sat around the table. She'd told him that it was nonsense and that she didn't ever celebrate her birthday, but he'd basically given her no choice. She ended up enjoying herself.

After dinner she moved to sit on the couch, Alexis at her heels. She was used to the little girl following her around. Alexis slipped on the couch beside her and held her hand out to her brother, who grabbed one of her fingers in his chubby hands. Although her son wasn't aware of the world around him yet, the pure joy he got from being around his sister warmed her heart.

"You're such a great sister," Kate told her honestly and Alexis lifted her eyes with a soft grin. "He loves you."

And it was true; other than Rick and Kate, Ethan hadn't really responded well to other people. He wasn't used to new faces. However, Alexis was someone he'd gotten used to almost immediately. From the very first day they'd met, only hours after his birth, he'd been incredibly fond of her.

Alexis kissed his fingertips and continued to grin. "I love him too."

Sometimes Kate wondered how longer she'd watched other kids around her with siblings and how long she'd wanted one for herself. Without much adjusting, Alexis had slipped into the role as a big sister quite easily. She knew what he wanted most of the time, whether it be a diaper change or milk, and knew how to change him if needed. It was refreshing to know they had an extra set of hands. Most of the time they didn't even have to warn her to be careful with him. She knew already.

After casting a glance back at Castle who was still cleaning up from dinner, she turned her head back to Alexis. "Can you hold him while I use the bathroom?" She asked softly.

Alexis nodded immediately, holding out her arms and accepting her baby brother into them. He squirmed somewhat, but when his eyes landed on hers, he stilled softly. Kate would never understand the sibling bond, but it warmed her heart every time she saw it.

As she stood and moved toward the guest bathroom, she glanced over at her shoulder at the life that she and Castle co-existed in. While there were still many questions that she was left with, most of them involving the status of her relationship with Castle, she was left indefinitely with the fact that no matter what her family would remain untouched.

Her son would always have the family she dreamed of as a child.

* * *

Two weeks later, the funeral for a uniformed officer stabbed to death outside of a crime scene she, Kevin and Javier had been working on was held. She wasn't sure who the man was really, had only spoken to him a handful of times. However, Officer Jones had helped them a lot during the years and she knew that it wouldn't be right to not attend his funeral.

It just became a pain when no one she knew could watch Ethan. It was almost too cold to bring him, but when she'd heard where the funeral was being held, she felt a slight inclination to bring her baby anyway. Whether it be for her own sanity or else wise.

The procession was beautiful, speeches from his fellow coworkers and his partner, Davis. She was a young thing, barely over 23, but she had worked with Jones for years. Her speech had been touching to say the least. When he was lowered in the ground, she pulled back the blanket on Ethan's car seat and sighed softly when she noticed he was still asleep. For every death, there was a life to be celebrated. He was hers.

The crowd dissipated slowly, leaving just a few officers and Detectives. Rick, who'd offered to come when she said she was bringing Ethan, hovered around her quietly. She glanced up at him and covered the car seat with the blanket again. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad for November. It was kind of warm, actually. But that didn't mean her son wasn't completely bundled up.

With a sigh, Kate detached from the group and picked up Ethan's car seat from the ground. "If you'll excuse me… there's something I have to do." She briefly met Rick's glance in her direction but she pushed it off as she began walking up the quiet path of the graveyard.

She hadn't been here in months. Not since the anniversary when her father had brought her up there and they'd sat and talked for hours with the woman she wasn't sure could hear them any longer. But even so, she knew the path like nothing else. Even if she was a bit slowed down with the weight of the car seat and her child, she moved there as though she were in a trance, barely catching on to where she was going.

When she finally arrived, she let out of a soft sigh and curled to the ground. The November frost painted the ground white and she felt the tears brim her eyes. It hadn't been that long ago that she and her father had been her to lay her to rest. Six years this January and so much had changed.

"Hi, Mom." She said quietly, staring down at the gravestone. "I have someone I think you should meet." She added and moved to pull back the sheet that had draped over the car seat. When she pulled it back, baby blue eyes stared up at her. "Hi, baby." She said softly, reached in and placed his pacifier back in his mouth. "This is your Grandma."

Ethan fussed slightly from his spot in the car seat and she began to rock it slowly. "I bet you weren't expecting this," she laughed quietly. "Trust me, neither was I."

As her son quieted down, but didn't close his eyes she kept her eyes on him. He was still the biggest surprise of her life, but the more time she spent being his mother, the more she realized she couldn't have any regrets about his conception. He was the most important person in her life.

"It's not Josh's." She told the gravestone, turning her head back. The last time she had been there, she had been on a break from him and she'd confessed to her mother then that she hadn't anymore feelings for him at all. "Actually, you know who his father is. You would probably laugh at me if you were here." She said, choking on her words softly. "I miss you so much, Mom."

She heard the crunch of footsteps behind her and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as the tears brimmed. Without turning around, she smiled. "See, I told you that you would laugh."

Rick moved beside her and she tilted her head, gesturing him to sit down beside her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned her head into the crook of his neck as she closed her eyes. "I didn't know that..." He started to say, but she patted his chest softly to silence him.

Kate nodded her head slowly. "It was six years ago." She said softly, licking her lips. "My mom tried to stop a fight and she got clipped. She didn't think it was bad, came home and bandaged it up herself. But she bled to death later that night. The injury had been on a major artery." She choked up, closing her eyes as the tears ran down her cheeks. "She wouldn't let us take her to a hospital. Said it was no use. They'd do the same thing and send her home. But it didn't stop bleeding..." Her voice trailed off as she let out another crippling sob. The fact that it could have been prevented stuck with her every day.

He rubbed her shoulder gently as she began to calm down. Her hand grabbed onto his jacket and clung for dear life. His hand lowered to her back as Ethan began to fuss again. Kate quickly sat up and wiped her eyes again, reaching in to see what was wrong. The moment she turned her attention back to him, the baby stopped fussing and his mouth moved eagerly.

"Oh no." She shook her head quietly, her voice still raw with her earlier confession. "It's cold out, baby. Momma's not whipping out her hoohas until we're in an enclosed area."

Behind her, Rick laughed and she laughed with him, turning to the gravestone. "To answer your question," she said softly. "Yeah, I'm happy."

* * *

That night, after Ethan was tucked into bed, she moved downstairs with a baby monitor tucked in her hand. She yawned softly, moving toward the kitchen as quietly as was possible. She knew that Castle was a light sleeper at best and would move to wake at the slightest crash, assuming the worst.

She finally entered the kitchen and opened the door to grab a bottle of water. She opened the cap and wrapped her mouth around it, taking a slow sip of it. Placing the cap back on it a moment later, she closed the door and jumped up as she saw Rick behind it. "Shit." She held her hand against his chest. "You know, killing the mother of your child is very Henry VII, right?"

He laughed softly and shook his head. "Pay back from earlier." He grinned at her and she just rolled her eyes, placing the bottle of water on the counter. "Except I was holding our son, so I think you're still worse." She nudged his shoulder and moved to sit down on one of the island chairs. He hovered by the fridge, staring at her.

Everything she'd ever wanted to say was suddenly on the tip of her tongue and she couldn't even remember her own name. Her thoughts since Ethan had been born had always circulated, bringing up memories of moments she held close to her heart and memories she wanted to forget. Since Ethan was conceived, she'd begun to see Rick in a different light. He wasn't the man who the media portrayed as a playboy. No, he was so much more than that. He was a loving father, a caring man and somewhere along the line, she'd fallen madly in love with him. And yet, even still, she was so afraid to give her heart to him.

She took another sip of her water as she let out a sigh. If she told him how she felt, would he reach into her chest and rip her heart out, or would he take it and take care of it? The more she thought about it, the more her head began to swim.

"Well, I'm off to bed." He decided softly. "You should go get some sleep yourself before Cos-Ethan wakes up." He placed a kiss to her temple as he passed by, walking quietly back to his bedroom.

As he began to pull away from her, she felt the distance between them. Every step he took pushed him further away and she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She pushed, though, gripping the bottle tightly in her hand as the flimsy plastic curled in her fist.

"Rick." She breathed softly, causing him to turn around. At her sudden finding of her voice, she stilled her movements, dipping her head. She didn't turn to meet his eyes. "Where are we going?"

The words, though they were intended to be innocent, had so much depth to them. When he turned back and stared at her, it felt like he was analyzing everything they'd ever done together. She wanted to cower, to tell him that she hadn't meant to bring anything up but she felt so light now that she had.

Where were they going? He held her like a lover, took care of her like a friend and unknowingly to her, loved her like she was the only human on the planet.

"You know what?" He said softly, licking his lips. She closed her eyes, bracing herself mentally for the worst. "I think that's something we should talk about."

* * *

A/N: I know. Hate me, please. I hate myself. But ultimately, I wanted to give 'the talk' its own chapter. So chapter 12 will be when they all lay it out on the line for one another. I hope that you guys don't murder me so I can actually write it. LOL.

Thank you so much for all the support, as always. I love it and you!

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	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes**

* * *

PREVIOUSLY ON _SOONER OR LATER_

"Rick." She breathed softly, causing him to turn around. At her sudden finding of her voice, she stilled her movements, dipping her head. She didn't turn to meet his eyes. "Where are we going?"

The words, though they were intended to be innocent, had so much depth to them. When he turned back and stared at her, it felt like he was analyzing everything they'd ever done together. She wanted to cower, to tell him that she hadn't meant to bring anything up but she felt so light now that she had.

Where were they going? He held her like a lover, took care of her like a friend and unknowingly to her, loved her like she was the only human on the planet.

"You know what?" He said softly, licking his lips. She closed her eyes, bracing herself mentally for the worst. "I think that's something we should talk about."

* * *

Kate could almost feel her dinner from earlier brim closer as the anxiousness of his statement built on her. Maybe she should have waited, should have given herself time to figure out what she was going to say. However, there was a determination that sat in Rick's eyes as he moved back toward her. Kate rolled on the seat toward him and stared for a long moment. He stared back. No words were exchanged for a long moment and then finally, he held his hand out to her.

"Come on," he said to her in a soft voice. "Let's sit on the couch."

Kate stared at him for a beat longer before her hand lay in his and she left the water bottle where it was as he clasped his large hand around hers and gently tugged at her arm. She reciprocated and stood, allowing him to lead them toward the couch. Even though it was normally only a few steps, suddenly the walk felt like it were hours. By the time they arrived, she collapsed on it, feeling significantly heavier.

He sat down beside her, squeezing her hand in his as he kept a tight grip on it. It'd been months since he'd realized that he felt more for her; months of deliberation and missed opportunities. Everything he'd done since she'd come into his life had been to one common goal, though he hadn't been aware of it at first. Kate had inadvertently changed him for the better and now here she was, asking him what they were doing.

Oh, how he wanted nothing more than to kiss her then.

But there was too much to do before they could get to that; if they got to that point. They would always have a tie with Ethan and that was something that they'd both gotten used to that. Was there more? He had no idea.

"I…" He trailed off and let out a soft breath as she hung onto his every word. "I have no idea what we are, Kate." He told her softly, watching her eyes divert for a second before they were back on his.

That single confession separated her heart strings, though what he said in that moment was nothing further from the truth. They didn't talk about their relationship; it was what she had been so comfortable with for so long. With Josh, it had been the downfall of their relationship. However, she didn't have a child with Josh; she didn't have a reason to think that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for a future between them because by the time she left their relationship she was so convinced that they were over forever. She nodded her head finally, gripping her fingers around his as she closed her eyes.

If someone had told her that she would eventually fall in love with him, she probably would have laughed at them then and there. It wasn't like it was the most obvious thing; he was a big child and made rash decisions 90% of the time but that big child had won her heart somewhere along the line. She wasn't sure how, or why she hadn't pushed him back harder. Maybe she should have.

To Kate, pushing people back was the easiest route. She was the type of woman who could put a bridge between herself and the one she loved without a bat of an eyelash. It wasn't that easy with Rick and the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that. For a while she'd thought it nothing more than her connection with him through their child, but she knew it was so much more than that now.

"I don't know either," she said finally as she lifted her head back up and me this heated gaze. His usual bright blue eyes were darkened somewhat and she lifted a free hand to graze his cheek. "I think we owe it to ourselves to figure it out." She confessed and he tilted his head into her palm, as though it was the more natural thing possible.

He agreed for the most part, also wanting so badly to just take her in his arms and keep her there for the rest of eternity. From the moment he'd saw her, he'd felt a certain attachment to the way she worked. The fact that she'd walked back into his life was nothing more than a strike of luck, or point of stupidity if he wanted to point out the reason why she had come back, but he wasn't one to shake blind first to opportunities that landed in his palm.

No, Kate Beckett was just too lovely to separate from and she had no idea how fantastic she was. He knew that, because of the way her cheeks reddened with exposure at each time he gave her a compliment, because of the way she shielded herself when he did. Like he was someone she needed to protect herself from.

"Yeah," he said after a long moment, glancing down at their clasped hands before he lifted his eyes to meet hers again. Her eyes had reddened around the rims but he didn't comment on it as he lifted their clasped hands up slowly. "I don't know a lot in this life," he started slowly and watched as confusion rolled over her eyes. "I know how to read and write, how to drive, how to make millions of women fall in love with me…" He trailed off and she rolled her eyes, the curves of her lips tugging in a half smirk. "But I don't know how it took so long for me to realize that I didn't need all those things anymore."

She felt her heart skip a beat in her chest as she maintained their eye contact, feeling his free hand grasp her free hand and hold it in his own. Her heart began to race slowly, unsure of where he was going with his statement. A simple statement of where they were going would have sufficed, perhaps, but in the entirety of their relationship she had realized that they were so far from simple. She was young and broken, and he had scars on his heart from women before her who took advantage of him.

Yet, somehow they fit together like a puzzle piece.

It wasn't in the simple gestures, like how they'd become more like a couple almost instantaneously. It was the way that she somehow felt comfort under his gaze, like she'd known him for as long as she possibly could. The way he touched her almost always set her skin and her heart on fire. She was so fragile, so young and stupid. But she could bare her heart to him if he needed her to, she hoped.

Rick inhaled a deep breath as he pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, watching as her eyes fluttered close. To think there was a chance that this beautiful woman could love him for the broken mess he was, it was unbelievable. "All I know is that I fell in love with you a long time ago, Kate, and I've just been sitting here trying to figure out a way to move on from this feeling I have for you." As he spoke, she reopened her hazel hues and stared through to his, surprise crossing her features. It wasn't the reaction he had expected, but she didn't speak as he collected what he would say next. "At first I thought it was because you were the mother of my son." He paused, staring down at the baby monitor as though the confession had brought him back to reality of their son just sleeping upstairs. "But no, Kate. It's so much bigger than that."

And there it was, sitting out in the air while she struggled to breathe it in. Kate's hands gripped his harder as she felt the tears begin to sting her eyes. It wasn't supposed to be this hard, was it? She couldn't remember ever having a conversation like this with Josh, or any other boyfriend that she'd ever had in her life. It had never been this difficult with other boyfriends. In the end, everything she did came down with a decision about the welfare of her son. Ethan was the most important person in a situation like this.

She couldn't make mistakes without him being affected as well.

Oh, but what a beautiful mistake they could be. She sucked in a breath finally, feeling him shift as she did and she brought her legs in under her, sliding her hands up his arms. She gripped his forearms as she dipped her head. "Oh, Rick." She breathed finally, turning her head up as a stray tear brushed her cheek. He instantly reached up and brushed his thumb across, the rest of his hand encompassing her cheekbone. "I don't know when it started, but somewhere along the line my heart gave itself to you without my permission."

He seemed almost crestfallen for a moment but when she leaned and dragged her lips against his, he felt everything she couldn't manage to put into words seep through her lips. As she pulled away, he placed a hand on her waist and urged her forward again but she placed a hand against his chest and shook her head slowly. It would be easy to get caught up, to roll around with one another like the first night they had been together.

But Ethan needed solid ground to grow up on.

"When did you become so important to me?" She spoke so softly that it was almost lost in the strength of her breath. She downcast her eyes and kept them there as she focused on the subject. "I'm so afraid, Rick." She confessed and felt his hand rub the side of her neck. She twisted her fingers in the fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes. "I'm afraid because if this doesn't work out. If this between us, whatever it is, for whatever reason just ends, then we still have Ethan to think about."

She lifted her head and stared past him, her cheeks stained with the softness of her silent tears. She wasn't wracked with sorrow from the tears, no; she was much stronger than that. Even if the world was falling apart around her, she'd go to the moon and back to make sure everyone else in her life was happy. It was one of the reasons he'd fallen in love with her and she had no idea how much she meant to him already. He wished he could tell her, could find a way to express it to her. Because even though his words were what made him millions of dollars, suddenly anyone he could and would say to her didn't match up to the truth of what he would try to convey to her.

Kate pressed her forehead against his and felt his hot breath against her lips. "This isn't about rash decisions and childish moves. That's what got us Ethan."

Though her words hurt a little, she was right in everything she said. They couldn't make decisions any longer that just affected the two of them. Although he'd spent a lot of time thinking more for another person than himself, especially when it came to Alexis, he had his son to think about too. If Kate didn't want to be pressured into something, he couldn't push her any further than what she was comfortable with. Ethan needed stability in his life, but he couldn't force it upon her either.

"Kate," he sighed and she pulled back to look at him again. "I understand, but…"

This was the most intimate conversation he'd had with anyone ever; in the past, his reckless decisions had always been the highlight of the media's gossip. As much as he tried to push that he was a father, even then, it was as though every mistake he made was published and pushed out of proportion. He'd grown used to the bad boy persona he'd been painted as having, and only hoped that by the time his daughter came of age to read and understand the tabloids that she would know better than to take them seriously.

"I can't do this anymore," he explained and she stiffened underneath his grip. He wondered if for a moment that she considered running away from him, pushing up the wall that she was so comfortable having between her and anyone else around her. "I can't go on pretending that I don't love you."

Kate stopped breathing when he spoke, feeling a sudden rush of emotions pour through her, though she couldn't focus on any of them. He _loved_ her. She felt suddenly exhilarated and somewhat like a teenage girl being told by her boyfriend that he loved her for the first time. They hadn't even gotten to the point of dating and she knew that they had easily become the most dysfunctional relationship she could ever pin point.

"Castle," she started and cut off when he started laughing and despite her best efforts to keep the conversation serious, she laughed with him too. The tears that streaked her cheeks were happy as she leaned her forehead against his. "Oh, I love you too."

The confession felt so liberating that she just had to laugh, although there were still lingering problems, lingering things that she needed to get out before she could let herself be happy with him fully. She needed fidelity, stability, honesty. He could promise to love her for the rest of her life but she needed to believe that with every inch of her core.

"And what if we screw up?" She asked after a long moment, watching as his face fell some. It wasn't what she had intended to do, but she needed the truth. He slid his hand up her side and cupped her cheek again. "I can't do that to him."

He nodded like he understood, but she wondered if he actually did. He leaned closer to her, looking her straight in the eye. "I can't promise you that tomorrow we're not going to wake up to a zombie apocalypse," he started and she scoffed as she fought back a laugh, biting her tongue. "But I can promise you that if we screw up – we'll work on it. We're human, Kate." He bit back the '_for now'_ comment that lingered after the zombie apocalypse and instead moved to brush their lips together. She reciprocated, leaning into his kiss. For so long he'd dreamt of this moment, dreamt of a chance to love her unconditionally despite her worries. As he pulled away, she pressed her lips to his another time and let it linger. "If there's one thing I'm positive about, Katherine Beckett," he whispered softly. "It's that I can't live without you anymore."

She rubbed her palm against his neck and nuzzled their noses together. So, it wasn't going to be easy between them. It would be the exact opposite. But if he was willing to try, then she was willing to give him her entirety and not look back at the past anymore. He closed his eyes and she reciprocated, leaning in to kiss him again as the soft sound of fussing from the baby monitor filled the quiet air.

It took him a moment to gently push her back and for her to register why he was doing it in the first place. She felt a hollowness in her chest for a brief moment, thinking he'd changed his mind but when she heard the whimpers change it to full blown cries for attention, she realized and nodded her head up at him as he stood and moved to advance the stairs two at a time.

Maybe they weren't going to get it right the first time and maybe, just maybe, they would. But she wasn't going to dwell on the future and have her heart be set in the past. If he promised to keep her safe and love her unconditionally, she couldn't ask for anything more. She settled into the couch as she listened to the monitor, Rick's voice floating through.

"_Mm, hungry again_?" She heard him ask and she let out a soft groan, rubbing her sore chest. With the new developments of his feeding schedule, she felt like he was a constant addition, though she couldn't find it in her heart to complain about any of it. "_Oh, you also made a big nasty. Greeeat_."

The last part caused her to laugh and she leaned against her palm, itching to get up there and be with them, but at the same time knowing that Castle would take one look at her and bat her back downstairs. "_Think we can hold onto that stink for a couple more minutes, long enough to pass you over to Mommy?_" She heard him tease and rolled with laughter again.

"Don't you dare!" She called out and heard his laughter through the monitor.

The weight of their conversation still stuck in the air, but when Rick and Ethan moved downstairs, her son wearing the cutest version of a R2D2 onesie that she'd ever seen, she couldn't bring herself to think about the worst that could happen.

In fact, the first thing that crossed her mind was that she was going to have to figure out where Castle was hiding the geekiest of his onesies – the ones that Ethan magically wound in every time he changed him.

He moved to the couch and sat down beside her as they transferred the baby between them. Ethan's mouth worked faster as she tugged up her shirt a little and helped him attach to her breast, though in the past month and a half he'd become quite used to where Momma's 'good stuff' came from. As soon as he calmed and began to suckle, she lifted her head and caught Rick's eyes on her. Her cheeks reddened without cause and he quickly leaned to press his lips against her forehead.

No, neither of them had an idea of where the future would take them. And if it didn't take them far, one day they'd be able to tell their son that they lived with no remorse. Kate snuggled into the crook of his neck again as his arm wrapped around her back and they both stared down at their son.

"I love you," he breathed into her skin and she sighed happily. "I promise."

Kate twisted her head out of his neck and looked up at him, smiling softly as she spoke. "Always."

* * *

A/N: And so does it for _Sooner or Later_! I have one epilogue definitely planned that will be coming within the next two days, but after that, this fic is done and over with. Oh, I'm so sad! I thought it would be so much easier to get this fic out of my system but it's not at all.

Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around for this crazy ride. I am looking forward to writing the epilogue(s?) and then hopefully writing something more for Caskett in the future.

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tumblr: castleskatie


	13. Chapter 13 - Epilogue 1

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes**

* * *

"Mommy!" The sound carried through the area of the Hampton's home as two year old Ethan bound through the doorway. "Mommy! Mommy!"

"Woah, bud." Lanie held a hand up to stop him from dashing further. "Aren't you supposed to be down with the men?" She narrowed her eyes at him, but he just grinned back up at her.

The two year old had a suspicious look on his face, the same one that Rick wore when he was plotting. She could smell his father's influence on this a mile away. Kate turned around from her position on the other side of the room, grinning softly at her young son. In his suit, he was quite handsome, though getting him into it was a struggle. He looked more and more like Rick every day, she thought with a soft sigh.

"Daddy sent me up here to make sure Mommy wasn't getting cold hands." He answered his godmother first and then continued moving around her hand to where his Mommy stood. "Mommy! You look really pretty."

Kate bent down the best she could in her dress and took her son's hands in hers. "Thank you baby." She grinned wider, if it were possible, and leaned forward. "Where's my kiss?"

Her son leaned in and dramatically pressed his lips against hers, making a smacking noise as he pulled away. The trick had been something he'd started lately. It was adorable, though like everything she was sure eventually the novelty would wear off. She just hoped he didn't try to kiss Sarah Grace. The twenty two month old daughter of Kevin and Jenny was a spitfire and also her flower girl. She silently prayed for a miracle.

"You can go and tell your Daddy that Mommy's got no cold feet," she corrected slowly. Although he was nearly three, he was well beyond his years in his terminology. It made her laugh, knowing Rick had stayed up for hours upon hours reading him books to help him advance when the Doctors had said they though he may be progressing a little slow. "And to stop sending you up to spy on me." She added and nuzzled her nose against his. He let out a soft laugh and nodded his head.

"K!" He said to her, nodding his head. "I'll tell Daddy you mean biznus." He told her and with that, moved out of the room, padding down the stairs. Kate straightened up and turned back to the mirror, fixing her lip gloss.

The Hampton's home had been her initial idea when they started planning. She was still a bit crazed that she was getting married to him; it was sort of crazy to think that they'd gotten so far since Ethan was a baby. But she wouldn't change a damn day. It hadn't been easy, she wasn't going to lie to herself about that. But it had meant the absolute world to her that he had filled up on his word to stick with her through whatever.

"Getting cold feet?" Lanie asked as she moved up behind her. She placed her hands on Kate's shoulders. "Cause I totally understand." All of the other women had moved to line up twenty minutes ago. These women included Maddie, Jenny and Alexis – who was completely thrilled when Kate had invited her into the wedding party. But Lanie, ever the fabulous maid of honour, stayed by her side until the very end.

Kate shook her head slowly. No, she was so far from having worries about the wedding. Since Castle had proposed, she'd been extremely giddy. She was pretty sure they'd stopped celebration sex so she could call Lanie and let her know. Though she wouldn't tell her friend that. "Never." She turned around and threw her arms around her friend. "I've never been more ready for anything in my life."

Lanie hugged her friend, pulling back after a moment to fix the strapless design of Kate's dress. It hadn't been her first pick, but getting married in July had called for something that gave her some room to breathe. "You really do look beautiful, honey. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you, Lanie." She grinned, turning her head as a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. There stood her father, three years sober now. He'd never looked better before. "I'm gonna go line up with the rest of the girls," Lanie said and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you when you walk down the aisle."

As Lanie separated from her and moved out of the room, Jim advanced toward her. He had tears in his eyes and she instantly turned her head. "I may have waterproof mascara on, but I'm not willing to test that theory just yet." She laughed, though the sight of her father's pride did reduce her to tears anyway.

"Oh, Katie." He opened his arms and she slid into them, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "She's here, you know." He whispered into the shell of her ear. "I feel her. I don't think she'd miss today of all days."

Kate let out a sigh. Of course she knew her mother was watching over her. She'd felt it every time she did something that warranted worry, every time she did something that warranted happiness. Today was no different. On her wedding day, she wouldn't expect anything less than her mother being there to celebrate it with her.

"I bet she's so proud," he whispered as he pulled back and cupped her cheeks. He bent her head down and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "We both are."

As the beginning sounds of the procession began, he held out his arm in her direction. "You ready to go, Katie?"

Looping her arm around her fathers, she grinned softly. "Never been more."

* * *

When she walked down the aisle, everyone stood around her. There was music playing, wishful looks at her fortune. But all she could see was Rick at the end, beaming at her. The walk felt like it was forever, but soon enough she was transferring arms to Rick, who took her hands and squeezed them tightly.

"Hi," he breathed softly, grinning at her. "You look beautiful."

Her cheeks reddened again and she squeezed his hand as the minister began to speak. In the outside garden of the home, the wind slightly blew - but not as much to ruin anything - and the sun beamed. Rick couldn't have cared if it rained the entire time, because today Kate Beckett was going to become his wife.

The initial proceedings came and went, and they slipped a white gold band on their heart line fingers and shared loving smiles and eyes.

When it came time for the vows, he felt slightly heavier. They'd opted to write their own, an idea he'd brought up and she'd jumped along. He took a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and smoothed it out on his coat. "I wrote this thing and read it so much that it's gotten all bad." He explained and she offered him a smile. "Suppose we're gonna see how bad my hand writing can really get."

Rejoining their hands, he held one to the side with the vows, and she watched him with so much love pouring from her eyes. It almost suffocated him, but he would gladly die happy with that as his cause of death.

"Kate Beckett," he said softly. "Excuse me, Castle." He corrected immediately and watched as she giggled at him, her grin never subsiding. "I have to say, when I first met you, I didn't think we'd be here. I think that is one of the only things that you and I can agree on when it comes to our relationship. That and the fact that I so fell for you first." His face screwed up and he glanced at her. "You edited my vows?" He teased and she poked her tongue out at him. "That's a dirty, dirty move, Mrs. Castle."

The crowd laughed gently and he gained momentum on his speech again. "Continuing on..." He trailed off and as queried her hand gently. "When I think about our life together, the fact that we've come so far from the people we were when we first met strikes me the most. The woman I met that night was beautiful and fantastic, but the woman I'm marrying today is extraordinary, breathtaking and my always."

By now, his eyes met hers and he saw the tears that stained her cheeks. "I vow to spend every day of the rest of my life," he finished quietly. "Reminding you that you are the most beautiful, maddening and challenging woman I've ever met. But you were so worth the wait."

Tucking the paper back into his pocket, he caught her eye again and saw the darkened hues and red eyes. If she kept giving him that gaze, he doubted they would make it through the intimate close family and friends event that was to happen after the wedding. She, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to place her lips against his and move back to the bedroom where they'd consummated their engagement.

"I'll have you know," she directed her gaze to the crowd. "He spell checked my vows." She murmured as she dropped both of his hands and took out neat white cue cards. Around them, the crowd laughed again. She read over the first one, taking in a few breaths as she tried to compose herself. "Rick," she began slowly. "The first time I realized I was in love with you, I took a look at my life and wondered where I'd gone wrong." He laughed at that and she smiled at him. "But I think what I didn't know then was how right it was."

She paused and flicked to the next card. "Our relationship has been a building block of mistakes and happiness. I wouldn't change one thing of it for the world." She smiled as she thought of their baby boy, no longer a baby, and flipped to the next card. "You're my always, Rick. It took me a while to realize that, but I know it more now than ever."

Choking up slightly, she felt his hand on her arm, his thumb rubbing small circles on her skin. "I vow to spend every day for the rest of my life loving you with all I have. Speaking on behalf of Ethan and me, I'm glad things worked out the way they did."

He offered a smile at her as she gave the cue cards back to Lanie and moved to rejoin their hands. Looking back and forth between the couple, the minister gave his blessing for the marriage and finished off with a short sermon of the sanctity of marriage. She wasn't listening. However, the moment he gave Rick the blessing to kiss his bride, his lips were on hers. She gasped against his mouth and threw her arms over his neck as he dipped her down and kissed her harder.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the minister spoke as they broke away. "I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Castle."

* * *

The small gathering that just existed of a handful of their closest friends and family began shortly after the rest of the guests who'd gone off to their hotels. To save the trouble, they had given special invitations to those invited and simply told the rest of them that they planned to go on their honeymoon shortly after the actual ceremony.

That didn't mean that their friends didn't treat the get together as though it were their reception. There were speeches given to them by the lovely best man, Kevin and the maid of honour, Lanie.

It was funny how far they'd gotten in terms of relationships with others, too. Since she and Rick had been caught in the break room shortly after they'd begun 'dating' officially, the boys had become a lot nicer to him. Not only that, when Kevin himself had found out that he was going to become a father, mere months after Ethan was born, he and Rick had formed a bond that Esposito had yet to give into.

By the end of the speeches, Kate had tears in her eyes for a very different reason. She curled toward Rick, feeling his lips brush against the crown of her head. "How're you doing?" He asked gently and she snuggled closer to him, nodding her head.

"I'm wonderful." She promised and he pressed another kiss to her temple. She let out a soft, contented sigh.

"Mommy!" She heard a loud voice call from across the room. Ethan stormed through the backyard where they all sat eating finger foods. Sarah Grace jumped behind him in a wild attempt to keep up with him. "Mommy! Look what we found!"

It was only as they came forward that Kate realized that they were covered in mud. She placed a hand over her face and counted to ten in her head as he moved closer. "Oh Ethan," she heard Rick say to her side. "You said you'd stay away from the mud."

It wasn't that bad, she supposed. At age one, he'd completely stripped and took a bath in a puddle in the front yard of the home. The fact that he still had his clothes on was an incredible step up. But as he moved closer, holding his hand out, she saw the rock in his palm.

"Isn't it cool?" He gasped, holding it more toward her. She was glad that she'd changed out of her wedding dress suddenly as dirt flew from his palm onto the ground beneath him. She sighed for a moment and turned her head toward him, forcing a smile.

"It's great, baby." She told him and Sarah Grace clapped behind him, though Jenny quickly moved up behind her and held her at arm's length. The little girl fussed and kicked. "You can take her to the bathroom in the hall. First door on the right." The blond nodded her head and carried the squirming toddler to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Ethan stood in front of her, tossing the rock back and forth in his palms.

"I'll get him." Rick told her with a sigh and she disentangled their limbs, sitting back as she watched him stand and hold his hand out to their son, leading him inside. She could overhear something from their conversation about ruining his suit, but she knew that was the last thing on Rick's mind.

"Like father, like son." Martha said at her side, shaking her head. "Richard used to make mud pies and try to sell them."

She could just picture it. In her mind he was no more than Ethan's age, trudging up the road with an old plate filled with mud. The image itself was laughable, though she could see herself on the receiving end of that lovely mud pie. She shook her head slowly as she turned to her mother-in-law. "If he tries to teach Ethan that, I swear on my life, I'll be a widower."

Though their son naturally picked up on most of his nasty habits on his own self, she was almost positive Rick had taught him some of the tricks of the trade. Especially when Ethan ran back and got Mommy to clean it up. One day when they had a little girl, she'd get Castle back. She knew all the tricks of the trades when it came to getting Daddy to melt for his little girl.

She sighed softly as she thought of the prospect of future children. They'd spoken of having more only once. It had been shortly after Ethan's first birthday and a missed period left her and he slightly worried for their future. However, it had only been a scare, luckily. Though it did bring up the conversation that she'd wondered about a handful of times.

She'd told Rick when the time was right they'd start trying, but she also didn't want too big of a gap between the ages. Although Ethan had already gotten used to sharing the attention with his elder sister, she wasn't too sure how he would react to another baby.

A soft kick to her shin brought her back to reality and she searched in the direction of where it had come from. "You okay, honey?" Lanie asked from across the way.

"Yeah," Kate promised, feeling slightly revitalized. "I'm great."

* * *

"How would you feel about more children?" She asked as she smoothed lotion down her legs. He cocked an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything as he sat down in a chair and began to remove his shoes. She hovered quietly, smoothing lotion on her arms and the revealed part of her chest.

Most everyone had gone back to their hotels, with the exception of the family members that they'd offered up rooms for. It was fairly quiet in the home, though. A little too quiet for her liking. It brought up the memory of a screaming baby boy whose love for staying up and attention had damned them well until his ninth month of life.

"Didn't we already have this conversation?" He asked curiously as he stood and began to remove his pants. "Or did I dream that?" He shot a confused look in her direction as he kicked up the pants and laid the out on the chair.

Kate licked her lips as she climbed into bed and pulled the sheets up. "We did." She said quietly. "I've just been thinking."

As he shed his shirt, he moved into the bed beside her. "You're not..."

She shook her head quickly, cheeks reddening. "No, no." She said quickly. "You'd know if I was." She cleared her throat and nervously picked at fluff on the sheets. "It's just... Ethan's turning three in October and I know we both said we wanted to wait a little, but I kind of feel like our clocks are ticking. I'm 28, you're almost 40..."

"Hey!" He wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her against his chest. "What are you saying? Think I'm getting too old?" He peppered kisses against her jawline as she worked her fingers through his hair. "I'll show you old," he murmured as he slid a hand around her thigh and tugged it around his hips.

Kate rolled her eyes as she moved to straddle his hips, pressing a hand on his chest as she pushed him back onto the pillows. "You know what I'm saying." She glared at him. "Don't make me say it out loud."

"Oh," he grinned at her. "But it would help."

She smacked his chest. "I don't think you need any..." She paused, grinding her hips into his hardening erection. "Help, Mr Castle." He groaned as he buried his face into her neck, nipping against the skin.

So, maybe they were doing this. Barely married twelve hours and already ready to start a new chapter in their life. No one said they were anything short of dysfunctional. She moaned into the shell of his ear and leaned closer. "Rick," she said softly. "I wanna purposefully make a baby with you."

He laughed and adjusted them, pinning her to the bed as he hovered over her mouth. "That was the worst come on ever." He told her and nuzzled their noses together.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she tugged his lower half into hers. "I don't feel any complaints." She murmured softly and he just shook his head, pressing their lips together.

* * *

A/N: Hee, epilogue 1 done and over with! I have another one planned that should be up Saturday or Sunday. It will be planned at Ethan's third birthday ;)

Thank you to everyone who has stuck around with me for this fic. I am so sad to see this go. Seriously :( lol

twitter: katherincastle  
tumblr: castleskatie


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: If I was Milmar, I would probably have a lot of money and wouldn't need to write fanfic because I would be busy writing episodes**

* * *

Everywhere around her is children. And not just a handful, like Castle promised, there has to be at least a dozen hyper, candy filled children. Of course, though, he is nowhere to be found. She's about to shove her fist through his face.

Letting out an agitated sigh, she leaned down and collected the last of the cupcakes from the fridge and began to arrange them on the tray. She'd wanted to do a cake, but the idea of cupcakes seemed more accessible to a group of four year olds. And a lot easier to clean up in the grand scheme of things. No dirty dishes needed whatsoever.

Lanie joined her in the kitchen, eyeing her with a certain carefulness that she couldn't ignore. Placing a hand on her back, she lifted her gaze to her friend. "What are you staring at?"

Huffing softly, the woman moved toward her, beginning to help her with her task. "You should be sitting down a lot more than what you are." She said softly.

So, maybe she hadn't given a lot of thought to how hard it would be to stand on her feet and entertain for hours. Even though her husband had given her a promise to keep at least the parents entertained, she also felt like she should be relaxing a lot more. Her back hurt, her feet were the size of tennis balls, and she had two occupants pressing against her internal organs.

"Have you seen Rick?" She asked, ignoring her comment as she placed the last on a tray and admired her work. She'd made a cupcake arraignment that looked like a caterpillar and even given the head cupcake its own black licorice antennae. She thought she did well.

She could see Lanie roll her eyes from the corner of her own as she stepped back and leaned against the counter. Since moving earlier that year, she'd been nonstop. Between getting Ethan adjusted to his new preschool and Alexis to Marlowe Prep, she and Rick definitely had their hands full. She missed the loft, she really did, but with one less room that they would eventually need, she knew they had no choice but to upgrade into something large. Even if it did make the communication back and forth to work a little longer each day.

"He's out in the backyard with the boys. A couple of the Mama Bears out there tried to crawl all over him when you weren't looking." Kate paled at that, her fingers gripping into the counter behind her. "Don't worry, Kate. I've never seen a guy shut down a woman so fast in my life." She shook her head. "It's not like they have any tact anyway. Who goes to another woman's house and flirts with their husband?"

While true, Kate couldn't help but roll through the thoughts in her head. It's not like she doesn't trust Rick; no, he's proven again and again that he's fully committed to their little family. It's the vultures she doesn't trust. She moves back to where Lanie stood and sighed softly, shaking her head. "I'll kick their ass when I find time." She said simply.

"Good Lord," Lanie shook her head and laughed softly. "I'm gonna chalk that off to the hormones, but I'd be so willing to see that."

The girls began to laugh together as Rick moved in behind them, pressing a kiss to the back of Kate's head. Jumping, she elbowed him in the stomach as he let out a groan. "Hey!" He said as she quickly turned around, her hand against her chest. "What did I do to deserve that?"

She glared up at him and Lanie glanced between them. "I'm going to… go… be somewhere else." She furrowed her eyebrows as she spoke and then nodded as she walked out of the room.

"Heard you're bait." She said as she crossed her arms in front of her. "Oh maybe you're the lure, I'm not sure anymore."

He sighed and placed a hand on either of her sides, tugging her as close as was possible. "Baby," he nuzzled their noses together as she pursed her lips. "C'mon, don't be like that."

"Don't be like what?" She sniffled and he pulled her into a hug as she curled her head on his chest. "I'm not being irrational, Rick." She told him and felt him nod against her head. He pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I know," he told her. She wasn't at all. No, those women had no right to come there and try to start something. Even if it were just harmless flirting from a lonely housewife. He was more devoted to his wife than he'd been devoted to anyone else in his entire life. Most people originally thought it was a façade, a man devoted to his son more than the mother of his son however, throughout the years it had become more and more apparent to people who knew him and her that they were something quite special. They weren't going to separate any time soon.

She rubbed her nose into his chest. "You punched the last guy who flirted with me." She reminded him and he laughed as he clenched his fist again. Albeit, it had been her ex-boyfriend who'd showed up the day of their engagement party drunk, she was right. "Don't I get that privilege?"

"Mm," he paused to think about it. "Maybe on the way out you can kick her ass to the ground."

She laughed as she pulled back and he leaned down to brush their lips together just as the invasion of children poured through the open patio door. "Mommy!" Ethan screamed at her, padding over in her direction in two bounces. As Rick pulled away, he held his arms to be picked up by her but was picked up by his father instead.

"You know what we told you," Rick reminded him gently. "Momma can't pick you up for a while."

Explaining to Ethan that he had to be extra gentle with her wasn't hard. Their son wasn't slow or stupid; he just lacked the attention span to be able to have a constant conversation with. As did most boys his age. However, the whole topic of their new bundles of joy was certainly something he did not seem too enthralled with anyway.

He nodded his head and patted the top of her belly. "Babies in there." He said, matter-of-factly and turned his head toward Rick. "Come on, Daddy. Time to go play again." He added, tugging his shirt and pulling toward the doorway. Rick shared a sheepish look with Kate before he pushed forward, the children at his ankles as he proceeded outside.

With a sigh, she turned back to the cupcakes and eyed the area carefully. Everything was perfectly laid out, the entirety of the Castle kitchen decorated with perfection. The backyard was a wonderful addition, considering most of the party would take place outside and would be much easier to clean up in the long run of things. Especially with their new companion, a golden retriever named Cosmo.

She moved to stand in the doorway of the kitchen, staring out at her husband and their son, accompanied by the mounds of kids that worked their way through the large bouncy castle (pun intended, Rick had said) that sat in their backyard.

This, she thought, was the perfect piece of heaven.

* * *

That night, after tuckering himself out, Ethan fell asleep on the arm of the couch in the middle of _Cars 2_. Alexis, noticing this, dived for the TV and changed it quickly to something else. They all let out a sigh of relief as the sound of actual people talking came through as opposed to cars. Ethan had become obsessed with that movie from a young age and Kate could firmly state that she knew all the words to every sense and every direction better than the _Pixar_ animators did.

"I'll bring him up." Rick said after a moment, shifting himself from the couch. He adjusted Ethan into his arms as he moved to ascend the stairs a moment later, keeping the quietness of the moment.

Alexis moved back onto the couch, rubbing her eyes. At thirteen, she didn't fool anyone with the "oh, I'm not tired" movement she'd been putting forth. Certainly not Kate, at least.

"Soon be time for bed for you too, I think." Kate laughed gently, rolling her hand over her stomach. One of the babies' elbows nudged her palm as her hand descended the length. "I can see those pretty blues descending."

Alexis let out a dramatic groan and covered her eyes with her arm. "But Kate," she said as she peaked from in under her arm. "The sky's awake so _I'm_ awake."

At the reminder of Alexis' favorite movie, Kate let out another soft laugh. "Mm," she nodded her head slowly. "I'll believe that when I see it. Come on, kiddo. I think it's bedtime for all of us." She nudged her gently. "Dealing with your brother's friends is exhausting for all of us."

Alexis rolled her eyes but didn't protest the notion for sleep as she stood up. Kate shifted to the edge of the seat and fought off her own yawn as she pushed to her feet. At twenty-six weeks pregnant with twins, the actual task of breathing was becoming harder and harder each day. Never mind moving from place to place. Her only salvation was that the master was located downstairs, conveniently changed once they learned she was carrying twins.

Rick descended just as Alexis was ascending and he pressed a kiss to the side of her head, though she tried to knock him away gently. As he moved downstairs, Kate shared a smile with him and began waddling toward the bedroom.

She could feel him at her heels, trying to keep up the same slow pace that she needed to have set, but at the same time also feeling the irritation that rolled off of him. Yes, she knew that she was a slow walker. It was the number one reason why she avoided the malls like the plague. Not every person who walked beside her had the same decency that her husband did. Most people just looked at her like she should be sitting down, in a wheelchair, in a frigging home for unwed mothers. It didn't matter that they could see her twelve carat diamond engagement ring.

Shaking her head, she took the turn into their bedroom and sat down in the first available chair, groaning softly as she relieved the pressure from her feet. He moved to kneel before her, rolling down her socks. She leaned back in the chair and moaned appreciatively. "Did you deflate that thing?" She asked as she opened one eye. After the novelty of the bouncing castle had gone through, most of the kids had moved to the snacks table and then moved inside for the caterpillar cupcake arraignment slash cake. She hadn't seen Rick move to take it down.

"Mm," he nodded his head slowly. "Paid the guy extra to pick it up right after the majority of the kids left." He said as he rubbed his palm against her calves. She sighed gently, pushing up on the chair. He saw her movement and quickly stood, extending his wrists out in her direction, which she took gratefully as he helped her to her feet.

"I'm not gonna be able to do this for another 14 weeks." She groaned as he began helping her with the maternity pants she'd wore that day. Already she was nearly the size she'd been when she was full term with Ethan and there was still so much time left to go. 14 weeks suddenly seemed like it was a lifetime sentence.

Tugging her pants down her legs, he made quick work of her shirt and bra and then helped her tug the nightdress over her head and expanding belly. She kissed his jaw as he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled into his chest. "Mm," she murmured softly. "As much as I like this, we can continue the cuddle in bed." She added and pushed at his chest, waddling back over.

From the moment they'd planned to try having children on their wedding day, a little over a year before, they'd always planned on having one. It was the deal. Have one first, then in a couple of years once that child was old enough, they'd plan for number three (four for him). However, it seemed fate had some kind of sick and twisted humor because during week fourteen of her pregnancy they'd detected two heartbeats other than hers.

It was evenly divided, a boy and a girl, they'd already discussed names and precautions of what could happen. In more ways than one, planning these children had given them a chance to give caution to the wind and not worry about each step of the way.

As she settled into bed, angling her pillow in such a way that he could slip behind her comfortable, she closed her eyes and shut off the bedside lamp. A moment later, his clicked off and he wrapped his arms around her, one of the babies' feet pressing up against his outstretched palm. "Mm," he shook his head into the crook of her neck. "No, we're going to sleep." He patted her belly gently. "That means babies too."

He was so gentle with them, just as much as he had been when she'd been pregnant with Ethan. It was so much more different now, though. Excluding the established relationship and the planning, she just felt as though it were different. Most of the time she couldn't even begin to explain how everything felt.

"What's going on in that mind of yours?" He asked as he pressed a kiss to her neck.

She let out a soft sigh and closed her eyes. "So, so much." She smiled gently and placed her hand over his. "It can wait until tomorrow."

He was already out behind her, breath tickling the back of her neck. She nuzzled into her pillow and let sleep calmly take over.

In the end, their always had begun a lot sooner than she would have imagined but she wouldn't change not one day, not one second for the world.

* * *

A/N: So this is it. This is the end. As I write this I can feel my heart crumble to bits and pieces. I delayed writing this all weekend and I had a snow day today so I knew there was no more delaying it. It had to be done. To everyone who has read this throughout the course of its life; thank you. I appreciated all the follows and all the favorites. You truly are magnificent people. Thank you for the endless support.

This is a bit shorter than I would have liked, but I think where I left it was perfect. I never write epilogues with a plan for giving a solid ending for the fans. I want you guys to imagine the future for these two; what they'll name their twins, how the twins will grow up and be polar opposites of each other, etc.

I have another fanfic planned, though I will not be tackling anything to do with it until late April, after my exams.

Thank you again!

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tumblr: castleskatie


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